Are we in hell and somebody forgot to tell me?

Holy Freaking Cow- it's so hot I am about to die. I am sweating in places no decent lady should sweat from...Seriously I was born and raised in Texas and swore I would never leave, but lately I find myself dreaming about moving to a cooler place. I have never liked the heat much, as long as I can be near swimming pools and cold drinks- but this year is the worst Summer I think I have ever experienced. I am a heat stroke/sun poisoning kind of girl. Meaning if I don't have the above mentioned swimming pool-cold drink combo I can't be outdoors. And forget about me not having A/C, not gonna happen. Can't happen. I am sure the fact that I am a human oven making a cute little bun right now is making matters worse. Put it this way- Summer in Texas is not at all pleasant. It doesn't bother Jon a bit, which I can't understand. He can't stand the cold and shivers when it's below 78 in the house... whatever dude. On a day I do leave the house before dusk I apply deodorant 2 to 3 times and stand in front of two fans just to cool down from getting ready, which is nuts because I keep our thermostat at 74. Blow drying my hair is AWFUL, like I feel like I need a shower afterwards. The minute I step into my clothes- here comes more sweat and getting in the car is like stepping into an oven. Last week the temp in my car was 110 at 11 o'clock in the morning!! We don't swim in our pool- the water is a warm 95 degrees most days. I feel like I am cheating my kids out of their Summer- because of my intolerance to oven like temps. Normally we do Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor at least once with several movie trips thrown in and other miscellaneous stuff here and there. But, this year we have done 1 movie, 1 trip to the Art Barn, and 2 pool parties. Wow! Thank goodness Chandler stays occupied with his friends and the other 3 hit the BMX track with Jon or they would literally rarely ever leave or have any fun. Thank goodness for books, board games, and the ever so important internet and TV. And to top it all off- I have spent a small fortune on icees, slurpees, ice cream, and bottled water. I really wish I was a wealthy woman- we would spend Summers somewhere gorgeous and tropical where the temps don't go above 85 and winters somewhere white and beautiful. Then we would hop in our private jet and visit friends and family in Texas whenever we pleased. Sounds fun right? Now, I am off to daydream about cooler climates while I sip some frosty goodness under two fans and I am gonna pretend the weather dude was joking when he said it won't go below 100 all week long....