She's baaaaaaacccckkkk!

Don't get too excited, I may up and quit before the week is out... But, either way- I thought I'd re-acquaint y'all with me. So, here goes.

I am a feisty redheaded mom of 5. I used to be a FAT chick, but am now what I consider chubby, if a size 12 is chubby. I used to weigh 270 at my highest and now weigh 175. I am addicted to Mexican food, pretzel M&M's, Diet Coke, kissing my baby (because he's the only one that can't get away) and my daily walks. I don't really have any talents to speak of- I can't cook, sew, scrapbook, take good pictures, etc etc. I am however a loyal friend and I think I'm pretty damn funny, so there! I am very good at- long bubble baths, Facebook, and window shopping. Right now my house is for sale and my hubby just started another job and cut his hours at his primary job. So, we are broke and it sucks. But, what can you do? I tried my hand at home-schooling my daughter but I felt tied down and she was bored so now, it's just me, my baby, and my oldest son who is both out of school AND unemployed. It's a barrel of fun. Not really. I hope to pick blogging up again full time. I can't promise I'll stick to it. I really hope I can provide a sounding board for myself and a laugh for y'all. If I am feeling ambitious I may fancy up my background and such and if y'all are lucky- I might even post some pictures. Don't count on it though. One thing I realized after having another baby- my kids are the boss around here not me. I'm just glad I get to eat and periodically shower....

Bye, for now...

Well, you had to know this was coming. I'm saying Bye Bye Bye to my blog for now. Even though I rarely if ever post and probably have little to no readers, I wanted to formally say- see ya! I really wanted to keep my blog updated, I just can't. I APPLAUD those of you who keep yours updated- I admire y'all and thoroughly enjoy reading about your families and experiences. Keep it up! I am just overwhelmingly busy with my life right now. I am constantly breastfeeding, washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking, tending to Camden or exercising. If I'm lucky I might be able to shower or read a magazine... I don't even get to chat or hang out with my older kiddos as often as I'd like. Used to, when I first started blogging, I had my camera all the time and a list of blog ideas. Now, I rarely even sit at the computer. I have joked that I was cheating on my blog with Facebook, and it's true. If cell phones weren't so darn internet friendly I wouldn't even be on Facebook either. Believe it or not- this is actually very emotional for me. I have met some amazing people through blogging (Sarah, Shannon, Krista- to name a few) and will miss it terribly. Thanks again for friendship, laughter, and the support and well wishes you have shown me in the 3 years I've been a blogger. Don't give up on me though- keep me on a reader or in your favorite's list. I just may surprise you and become A Blogging Queen someday- like say if I reach my goal weight or get pregnant again (as if) or win the lottery (I wish). Love y'all! It's been AMAZING!

P.S. I'm now 190lbs (have lost 40 pounds and 20 inches)!
Hunter is starting high school!
I might be home-schooling Chloe!
Hayden turned expert in BMX!
Camden is fixing to be 1 and is taking steps here and there!
Jon has lost 20 pounds since he started working two jobs!
and, Chan is finding that adulthood is not all rainbows and lollipops...

P.S.S. if you want to keep reading about my family and antics, add me on Facebook if we're not already friends, I promise I won't think you're weird....

Some current photos!

me and Cam


I recently met some friends from high school for dinner, so much fun!


Chloe has pink hair! For summer only. On and she's officially a teenager now...


Hunter FINALLY cut his hair!


Cam can feed himself!

Because I am AWESOME!

I have lost almost 35 pounds! I now weigh: 197.6! I haven't weighed this "little" since 1997. Anyway, just wanted to share. Ok, now go comment away telling me how proud you are and how awesome I am. Only if you feel like it ;)

Bleh

Yeah, so I forgot to blog. Or something. I'm sure my previous post had nothing to do with me being tired, bloated, cranky, stressed, weepy and in no mood to blog. Oh no, Aunt Flo doesn't do that. She's a nice visitor. One who doesn't cause trouble or make messes and never overstays her welcome. Yeah right. Let's be honest- the last 5 days have been AWFUL. Basically I have been begging for menopause. Case closed. In other news- I am super bummed about LOST ending, I can't get Camden to sleep through the night without his (my) precious boobers, I've been walking 2 miles every night and my scale has a death grip on the exact same number while I have a death grip on anything and everything chocolate, and other than a few little happy spots, my Mother's Day was the worst one I have ever ever had. I really don't wanna go into detail, because I am all cried out. But, don't feel sorry for me, I am a big girl and as Jon told me- it's just a silly commercialized holiday. Ugghh. Men are so retarded. Tell me why we need them again? And, that's all I've got except for two teeny little things in my head. 1) does anybody know a plastic surgeon who wants to lift, tuck, and suck my body pro bono just because he/she is nice and I'm cute? It might be a tax write off for him/her. 2)This is my 699 post since August of '07 and I MIGHT do a giveaway to celebrate the BIG ONE. Maybe, but don't get too excited. I might decide to not blog again for a month or more. It all depends on what drama/loveliness might or might not get thrown my way.

men-stroo-ay-shun

So I've been a hormonal mess the past few days. Nothing new really- I mean I had finally leveled out a little bit from when Camden was born and was feeling normal and then bam! I have been crying like a baby this week. Well, guess what? Aunt Flo decided to come for a visit for the first time since December of 2008. That's right internet- I got my period. I haven't missed it. Not One Bit. I guess it's time to revisit the feminine hygiene aisle of CVS and bust out the Midol. Oh freaking joy. And, if you are cringing at this post- who cares. Whose blog is this? Mine! And, I am hormonal- so look out, especially men named Jon.

I am a mom right?

So, Mother's Day is coming. This year is different, since it was reaffirmed back in September that I am indeed some one's mommy. I think I had forgotten... I have always been a simple (boring) person and I have become even more low maintenance and boring than usual. I have heard having a baby does that to a girl. This year, just like last a big chunk of my family will be at BMX, because that is VERY important. I will likely be alone at church with Camden and I will go see my mommy as my boys who don't ride the bicycles or go to church don't really get the concept of the "holiday". I have to confess- I don't either. I think moms should always be honored and respected. It's always difficult to figure out what to do or where to go on Mother's Day because Jon and I obviously both have moms and we still haven't (after 15 years) figured out a workable family visitation for holidays. And, I have heard it a million times before- I am not his mom. So, with that being said, I really don't know what is going on Sunday. Ok, I think I may have gotten off on a tangent or on a soapbox- take your pick! The point of this post was that I am simple (boring) and would only like simple things for "my day".

My Mother's Day Wish List

I would like:

One night of uninterrupted sleep (no cuddling, no nursing, nothing). I just wanna sleep on my tummy and not have to get up for anything until 8 wondrous hours of slumber have commenced.

A foot rub. One that lasts, and one that I don't have to beg or pay for.

A glorious yummy meal consisting of all of my favorite foods (steak, shrimp, salads, cheesy stuff, avocado, chocolate, etc etc) that I can eat while it's fresh and hot and afterwards I don't get sick to my stomach. Not gonna hold my breath.

A gift certificate to the following- pedicure place, the hair salon, the massage place, my favorite shoe store, my favorite clothing store, and Target. HAHAHAHAHA! As my dad would say- you can wish in one hand and S*&T in the other.

A nice long bubbly bath with a cheesetastic magazine and all the hot water that my heart desires. If I could take it without Camden staring at my boobs or chewing on the empty shampoo bottle that would be a bonus.

A ginormous bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite flower (weed). So sunny and summery and cheerful!

And, I think that's all. While all those things sound amazing and stuff, what I really want is to be with my all my kiddos with no fighting or texting or crying or TV or computer or drama. I just want them to get IT ya know? I know that's asking alot but I can wish right?

mommy and baby

Who wants to see a current picture of me and Camden? Hopefully YOU! Here you go. Oh, he might have a few boogers- this was before his bath and after mine. Jon and I got to leave the house tonight so I got to wear decent clothes and makeup. I might have even brushed my teeth. We went to a friend's 40th birthday party and stopped afterwards for Olive Garden to go. Hey, not the steak I was craving but who am I to complain?

I'm not looking at the camera mother!


this is soooo annoying...


Hey, what's that?


mommy, stop squishing my face!


here Cam, here's how you do it. Smile like mommy!

Dirty Day...

No reason for this post other than I am kinda bored. Believe it or not. The middle kids are outside playing, Jon is reffing a soccer game, Cam is asleep, and my big boys are at friend's houses. I can't wash clothes or dishes. I can't cook. *I can't pack boxes. I can't really do anything. Ok, sweeping and dusting. But, that's mucho boringo. Why, you ask? We have been without water for about 6 hours. What does come out of the tap looks like diarrhea. Sorry, but it's true. I was gonna make homemade mashed potatoes with dinner- no water. I can't even make baked ones- no water to clean them with. I can't make anything that requires water, not even mac-n-cheese. Dang it. Not sure what to make now... Sandwiches anyone? And, I don't know how you are when the water is off for unexplainable reasons, but I really want to take a shower and I'm not even that dirty. Uggh... life in the "country" sorta sucks. And, that's all. I'm just trying to figure out what to do til someone either wakes up or comes home to play with me. Maybe I'll go for a walk, up and down the driveway since Cam is sleeping. Maybe we'll grab takeout and head to the park. Hmmmm...

the offensive "water"


*we are currently in the process of readying the house for sale, yikes! Wish us luck!

It's the small stuff...

I am truly thankful for oh so many things and as I get older I realize more and more just how blessed I really am. I mention this every time I pray and occasionally make a public declaration via Facebook or Blogger. But, I don't take near enough time to express my thanks for the small stuff- until now. I am thankful for:

Target brand baby wipes- fresh smelling, inexpensive, and just as good as the name brand. A must have for a messy spitter upper like Camden. They do a pretty darn good spit shine on counters and coffee tables too.

Duncan Hines chocolate chunk brownies- chocolate, chunks, warm, ooey-gooey, mmm. Another must have for a harried mom of 5. As a matter of fact the mere consumption of too many of these bad boys and I will never be a mother of 6. Brownies as birth control, who knew?

Johnson and Johnson cucumber melon scented baby bath, lotion, and powder- yummy smelling for this baby of mine and me. Said powder also does a darn good job of taming the greasies. Since I rarely have time to wash and dry my hair anymore. Camden is afraid of the blow drier now anyways...

Elsie and Daisy (my boobies)- they enabled my baby to add 10 pounds to his birthweight by 6 months of age as well as provide a nice warm pillow for him to sleep on. Amen.

My iPhone- I just love it so. I have my scriptures, every church hymn, every church manual, and some conference talks on there. In addition to maps that know I'm standing in my kitchen, to all sorts of fun games and nifty apps. So stinkin' fun and worth every penny. I <3 you iPhone.

My sense of humor- I am just glad I can laugh at myself and occasionally at others. There are days when a sense of humor is all I got against this wacky life of mine. I'm not really sure where I got it from but I love it! It makes me smile when people tell me I crack them up :)

Gerber puffs in assorted flavors- these little flavored rice puffball thingys have enabled me to grocery shop, attend church classes, and blog. Camden loves them. Thank You Gerber!

earbuds- this goes without saying if you are a mom of teenagers. They can't hear me nag or the baby cry. As long as I can get their attention by throwing a rubber flip flop or couch cushion at them, we're good.

concealer- any brand will do, as long as it's one shade lighter than the dark circles I have been sporting since 1990. Lately a dash of baby powder to my scalp, chapstick on my pout, and a smidge of concealer and look out world! However, I may need to step up my game. Today Chloe told me she was embarrassed to be seen with me since I was wearing no makeup and my hair was flippy. She said I looked like a soccer mom... As if!?

French vanilla yogurt with vanilla almond granola mixed in- yummy, crunchy, and sorta healthy. Right? Right? Ok, go easy on the granola and you should be ok...

So there you have it, my current can't live withouts. Feel free to add more of your can't live withouts under comments. I can always use a new product to obsess over.

On my Chan-Man

I have been wanting to sit down and blog about Chandler for quite some time, but haven't really had a ton of time to devote to the kind of post I wanted to do. I am determined to get this finished before dawn... Way back in March, Chandler celebrated his 18th birthday. Which, is a huge milestone for so many reasons: he is legally considered an adult now, he can vote, he's old enough to work at Target (score), etc etc. But, the biggest milestone for me personally was that I never imagined I could raise a kid, let alone get one to adulthood. And yes, I know he is barely an adult.

I am not sure how many of you guys that read this know that Chandler has a different father, whom he has never met and that I met his step-dad Jon (who is HIS DAD, regardless of genetics) when he was almost 3. Yes, I was a "single" mom although I did live with my sisters and my parents. I was responsible for his care as much as I physically, emotionally, and financially could- whenever I could. I mainly relied on backup from my sisters because I didn't want my parents to think I couldn't handle a kid, my kid. You see, I had only been 17 for a few short months whenever I got pregnant. I was a statistic- an unwed, pregnant teenager. I was also nearly 16 weeks along before I even found out I was expecting. I strongly suspected it, but was in massive denial and didn't really know where or whom to turn to. It wasn't until I finished up a session at Summer school that I had a few of my friends drive me to a free clinic in Dallas. I pretty much knew I was pregnant, I just needed confirmation. As if the sore breasts, nausea, and terrible exhaustion weren't a big enough clue. So silly, but I remember giving a fake name in case the nurse at the clinic decided to tattle on me. Once I found out I kept it between me, my sisters, and my friends who took me to the clinic. I had always known that I wasn't meant to be your typical young adult, I had felt it since I was a little girl. I just didn't know what my future held- but I was about to find out, quick! I managed to keep my secret for a few weeks and it wasn't until a huge fight with my mom did the cat jump out of the bag. I was terrified of what my dad would say/think. Instead, I think for the first time in several years a light seemed to shine on our family. Little did I know what joy, hope, and happiness he would bring to all of us. Which is what brings me to this post- Chandler's 18th birthday is such a huge milestone because he came into this world 2 weeks after I turned 18. I could go on and on about my life thus far with the Chanster, but I won't. Simply put, yes there were and will continue to be hard days. But, for every hard moment there have been a thousand more awesome ones. I will say that I was headed down the wrong path, doing all kinds of foolish crap and I 100% believe that Chandler saved my life and came into this world when I and my family needed it most. He is such a cool, awesome, smart, funny, quirky kid and I am alot proud and truly honored that he picked me to be his mommy.

gettin' his hair did


me (19) and Chan (1)


Senior night at his school (back in October)


me and Chan and Cam on his 18th birthday (sorta blurry)

Miss Me, Miss Me...

now you gotta kiss something??
Anyway- I bet you are as shocked as I am that I am actually blogging... I really do miss it and updating is always in the back of my mind, but I am just so busy all the time. However, now that Camden is trying to grow up on me and be alot more independent I might actually have time to blog! Sounds crazy I know, but in the last 10 days he has finally developed a taste for baby food and learned to sit up, crawl, and pull up! Yes, I realize he will be into everything but he won't be overly clingy and wanting to nurse every hour and be held constantly. I have tried for months to figure out why he constantly spits up and is fussy between his every hour nursing sessions (in addition to several other symptoms) and I finally think I know what it is! Read here. Basically I am making too much of the sugary first milk and not enough of the fatty hind milk (that satisfies him longer) which means he is hungry and gassy and has every other symptom listed except for frequent diaper rashes. It has been very frustrating simply because not only was I not used to a baby in the house but none of my other kiddos were this clingy and fussy. But, now that he is relying on three mini meals of baby food a day and can move all around the house (so far he's staying in the living room) he is much less cranky and A TON of fun! Which for me means- I can have my life back! If only for a little while. Until he's trying to dive off the couch or open the cabinets for pots to bang on or maybe go fishing in the toilet. He is a momma's boy though which drives Jon nuts so when I do get to take a nice looong bath or get on the computer, it's never for very long.... but we'll get there- I think! I can't promise I'll post daily but I am gonna try.

On that depression thing...

*this is long, but please read it all. And, just so you know I could have taken a shower but I decided to blog instead!*

Ok, so I know I said I needed to gather my thoughts before I posted, but I never did. I'm just gonna start typing and hope I don't sound like an idiot. After each of my babies was born I got a little bit blue. It starts as I drive away from the hospital. And, I can only guess it's because the pregnancy is over and all of the attention that was focused on me is now focused on a wrinkly smelly screaming little creature that I am head over heels in love with. Alot of it is exhaustion too. After a week or so I always think I'm in a routine and I have dodged the postpartum depression bullet. But, it rears it's ugly head and the days and nights are a blur and there are lots of tears. By month 3 I am good as new. However, this time it started the minute I found out I was pregnant and got progressively worse as I neared my due date. I knew the minute I found out that I would never be pregnant again and that finality was weighing on me. Because, I love me some babies but I am no Michelle Duggar and I am definitely not Octomom, maybe I'm somewhere in between? Anyway what I am trying to say is, babies are like a drug so to speak. They're intoxicating and soft and amazing and all these wonderful things that outweigh the crying and the poopy diapers and sleepless nights, but you can only have so many. They turn into people, with issues and drama, and stress and I want to be the best mom I can and my plate is full!
Anyways- I was a teeny bit excited and a whole lot scared shi*less. I had never really gotten over being blue when Hayden went off to kindergarten. Plus, I was so nearing freedom with Chan fixing to turn 18 and Hayden able to wipe his own butt and cook his own Kid Cuisines. I was TERRIFIED to have a baby. And, while I admit it was fun to do the whole Surprise! I'm pregnant announcement and belly shots, and buying all new baby goodies and whatnot- deep down I knew I was in for it. Thankfully, I stayed busy with my kids and the pregnancy progressed not too fast, not too slow. Let me stop here and say that during my pregnancy I worked really hard to keep up the facade that I was FINE and EXCITED even though I was sweating nails, often. I was also absolutely THRILLED to have another child, but the dark cloud of postpartum depression constantly loomed over everything.
Fast forward to labor and delivery. The whole time I was in labor I was praying silently in my head that I would dodge the blues. But, guess what? The second they whisked him off to the nursery for his group B strep tests (I was positive, remember?) I almost lost it. Even watching him get his bath an hour later I was standing at the nursery window watching the nurse suds him up and I was trembling and sweating. I really wanted to turn back time at that point. I was in LOVE but I was confused... The first few days home were filled with diaper changes, nursing, naps and endless visitors. I kept waiting for things to feel "normal" again. And, here I am almost 6 months later and guess what? I am a little better than I was that very first day, but not by much. Each day presents different challenges. In the very beginning I would get so frustrated and overwhelmed when Cam would cry. Seeing the laundry and dishes pile up would make me cry even more and my chest ache. Just the day to day of a sorta big family was kicking my butt and stressing me out, BAD! I can't tell you how many times I told Jon that I couldn't do it anymore and if things didn't change I was taking the baby and leaving. What frustrates me most is how I kept getting mad about things like my desk being full of mail or the fact that we had clean but not folded laundry. How silly of me! I have 5 beautiful children and am blessed beyond measure and I am fussing over laundry and unopened mail! But then, there were those same big kids and their fighting and endless stream of activities and school projects. Then, it seemed as if we would ALWAYS need groceries or diapers or milk or something. I'm not even touching on the "I'm a fat, ugly, terrible mom, loser." Or the "I suck at everything, no one loves me, I'm a worthless piece of crap" feelings that were always laughing at me from afar. To top it all off there were days when I felt like WonderWoman. Days when no one fought, homework was done, I cooked a decent dinner and had a chance to shower. I was and am still on a roller coaster ride of emotions. It is not fun. I am trying to feel better though and little things like not sleeping too much, a good long bath, a phone call with a good friend or a much needed scripture verse work wonders. I basically try many many little things each and every day to feel happy and "normal". I hope and pray each day that as soon as I finish nursing for good that my hormones will level out even more and I will feel 100%. I am absolutely GIDDY and BLESSED and in LOVE with my family although Jon and I have seen better days, but I am trying. I am oh so thankful for wise women who have been there both as a shoulder or an ear or those that have experienced the exact same things I am feeling now. I have complete faith in my Heavenly Father that I will get better and this experience is but a blip on my eternal radar and I can only hope that I am learning from this experience each day that passes. For sure makeup and a shower work wonders for me, and simply opening the blinds to let the sun shine in. So, that's it. I am sure I have left out so much, but I hope that at least one person can read this and relate or learn from my experience and if I can help one person in my shoes to smile or feel better then I have accomplished something today. Thanks for reading :)

She's Baaaack.... (she thinks)

Ok, so I guess I'm gonna try and get back to this blog thing. This first post back will be an update so to speak. Since I last blogged, the following things have occurred:

Hunter turned 14. We had pizza, cake, and a few friends over. A good time was had by all. Yes, I have pics. No, I'm not posting them now. Maybe later.

My parents celebrated their 50th anniversary. A few of us kiddos threw them a small dinner party to celebrate. We had yummy Mexican food and a delightfully tacky gold and creme cake. A great slideshow with awesome music and good conversation. Again, I took some pics before my camera started acting stoopid and I may or may not post some.

Camden came down with RSV! My first official experience with it. Thankfully it was a mild case and he only needed breathing treatments for a week. Whew! He was pretty fussy and miserable but we made it!

I have had SEVERAL people mad at me for various DUMB reasons. They run the gamut from I am a stay home mom and that's not fair to those that have to work, to who I'm friends with- both on Facebook and in person, to the fact that I am what I am and apparently there are things about me that are super duper annoying, who knew? Honestly, I don't give a crap. I'm sorry, but I'm never gonna be sorry. Accept me or reject me just please quit whining.

I joined a gym. That's right, a gym. I have been wearing knit stretchy fabrics and oversized tops for a year and I am sick of it. It's time to lose the maternity garb and get moving again. I NEED to get this weight off. Plus, I am hoping to release some feel good endorphins. We'll see. I doubt I will ever be thin. Scratch that, I KNOW I'll never be thin. But, a girl's gotta try!

Camden grew up a whole lot! He is currently: rocking on all fours, doing full complete turns when he's on his belly by scooting in a circle, rolling 2 or 3 feet at a time, and my favorite- constantly smiling and giggling. I love it! He is soo sweet! However, he still loathes baby food except plain rice cereal. I confess I have given him a few bites of avocado, refried beans and some vanilla yogurt, all of which he loved! He better not be a picky eater like Hayden or I'm done for!

We got a buttload of snow, try not to get a visual ;). But, unless you live under a rock you know that D/FW got record snowfall last week. It was absolutely gorgeous. I could get used to more frequent snow, maybe. The kids had a blast and it was really neat to look out and see bright white pretty snow. The after effect was pretty ugly. Dying snowmen, mountains of dirty wet clothes and mud.

Chandler went to his orthopedic surgeon and will be having an ACL/MCL reconstruction next week. They call his type of injury the "Unhappy Triad". Basically they take a piece of tendon from his knee and rebuild his ACL and his MCL. Good times. I hope he recovers as easily as Jon did when he had it done back in '02 minus the vomiting and fainting spells. Lucky me- I was nursing a 6 month old baby back then and I will be doing the same thing now. Makes changing ice packs, wrapping body parts so they don't get wet in the shower and fetching food SO MUCH FUN...

Hunter has a new girlfriend! Her name is Ashley. She thinks I'm sweet and cute and she loves my red hair. I like her ALOT! He is also so dang good with Camden, it's crazy. He frequently tells me how much he loves Cam and how cool he is, it's really sweet.

Hayden is being tested for gifted in the Spring. This didn't come from left field, this came from the parking lot at the baseball stadium! He is a smart boy but I always thought his atleticism and motor skills (learning to ride a bike by himself at age 3) were his strong suits- not school. We shall see, his teacher seems to think he might qualify for the gifted program.

Chloe hit preteen harder than I thought was ever possible. She has had her toe into tween for awhile, but wowza things have been u-g-l-y lately. Tantrums, insults, door slamming, makeup swiping from mommy to name a few. And, the icing on the cake? She removed me as her friend on Facebook because she didn't like a comment I made on her status. Ouch...

And, last but certainly not least. I have postpartum depression and it sucks. I am not gonna go into detail now. I am gonna blog about it this weekend. No holds barred. I'm gonna spill my guts. I'm gonna rant and rave and more than likely there will be tears shed, both by me and maybe some of y'all. I really need to gather my thoughts about what to say and stuff. Just please, pray for me. I really want to feel better.

The end... for now.

Dear Santa,

Ok, Santa so I realize that my letter is really late this year. As a matter of fact you may be down the street for all I know... but, I am writing you anyway! I think I have been an ok girl this year, maybe I'm on the "Between Naughty and Nice List"? For sure I have held my tongue MANY times and I always let my husband eat and shower before me even when I'm starving and stinky and Camden is crying. I have also kept my road rage in check. Those are good things right? Not to mention I have kept breastfeeding Camden even though one of my nipples is permanently deformed. There are so many good things I could mention, but since you know EVERYTHING I will save myself the trouble. I am not gonna ask for much, Former Girl Scout's Honor. And really since I got a new Iphone(!!!) I really don't need alot.
So without further delay I would like:

A ginormous bottle of Nair and the courage to actually use it. I haven't been able to shave much lately and I am afraid I am gonna tear my sheets or hurt someone with all of the stubble.

The little Asian man down at the pedicure place to rub my feet every night. My bunions have been killing me lately and Jon isn't as good at foot rubs as the little dude down at the nail salon.

Larger towels. I managed to flash the Direct TV guy yesterday. I screamed. He stared. Not pretty. I am surprised he didn't run away. The least he could have done was offer me a free movie or something.

A pair of contact lenses that can resist sliding down the drain. Or maybe a pair a day for the entire year. Maybe if they hadn't slid down the drain yesterday I would have seen the satellite man before I walked past him naked.

Cheesecake in all flavors from the Cheesecake Factory. I am trying to make my butt look more shapely and I am thinking cheesecake might help.

A giant bib. Camden spits up ALOT and every single time I am without protection, he gets me. He is super fast and I am never ready it seems... and I get barfed on alot. A bib would be great!

A better alarm clock. We oversleep frequently and I am tired of rushing every single morning. Not fun.

For Hayden to be more adventurous in the food department. The kid has eaten the same 15 foods for years and I am sick of them, surely he is too...

For Chloe to stop missing the bus. She misses it about 3 days per week. So. Freaking. Annoying. Especially since Hunter goes to the same school as her and he manages to catch the bus. If I get the above mentioned alarm clock that might help a bunch.

I would also really like it alot if Chandler got a JOB. He really needs a job. The kid will be 18 in 3 short months! Preferably not at a food place but instead a place where he can get a discount (Target!).

For Hunter to cut his dang hair! He reminds me of Shaggy or Johnny Depp's portrayal of Willy Wonka. Johnny is a dollface but his Willy Wonka hairdo is fugly. Bobs aren't cute on boys and the last chick who cut Hunter's hair messed it up bad....

Anway, I think that's about it. If you could fulfill all of my Christmas wishes that would be groovy. If not I'll be ok. Really I have lived with/without the stuff I have asked for and I am ok. And, I have an Iphone so I'll survive!

**Merry Christmas Everyone!

OMG Ashley look at your butt... and stomach, and thighs, and double chin and...!

I am sitting here drinking a Coke while a Dove chocolate melts in my mouth and I know that the good times of giving into the cravings are over. Besides, the three C's- chocolate, cheese, and Coke make Camden fart. I had seriously cut down on them when I discovered they made him gassy, but eventually the cravings won me over. But, now that he had his 3 month birthday today, it's TIME! Time to eat healthier and guzzle even more water than I normally do. I try and eat somewhat healthy but I am so nowhere near perfect. I am lucky that I am nursing because it burns so many calories and I feel like if I had tried harder that I could have lost more weight by now. Thankfully I lost every single pound I gained during my pregnancy which is nice, however it's definitely distributed differently. Honestly I don't know how the scale has the same number because my face is puffy, I have a fat belly, and of course there's my boobage, which I swear needs it's own zip code. I am gonna start slowly partly because I am not sure how many calories I should eat and because I don't have time to read labels and count calories like I did before. My plan is to eat healthy, normal portions and not go for seconds. I will allow myself to "cheat" but not everyday like I have been. I am also gonna double my water intake which is already pretty high. For exercise, I am gonna put on my Reebok Easy Tone shoes and do the treadmill while Camden swings or looks at his mobile or something! I may even try and keep them on while I do chores and whatnot. I won't wear them in public though- they are fugly! I am pretty sure that lugging the car seat and carrying around a 13 pound baby will help me in the weights area. I am gonna see how things go on this "plan" of mine for a few months and if I am not showing marked improvement I'm gonna have to join a gym and consult with a trainer. I don't think I was ever meant to be teeny tiny and although I love sports and am pretty athletic I am never gonna be a gym rat, a runner, or a slave to exercise. Life is pretty busy and as long as I try and stay healthy that is what's important. And, first and foremost is my family so I really don't want anything to get in the way of that. I wanna enjoy the last year Chandler is in our home and I want to be able to spoil my last baby as long as he'll let me. Anyway- I guess I am telling you guys this so I can get advice and/or words of encouragement along the way. Wish me luck!

Yes, I Know

I suck at blogging. I am just so super busy, it's insane... I have been trying so hard to keep up with housework, laundry, cooking, bathing etc. that blogging is on the fun list, a list I rarely get to work on. Factor in preparations for Chandler's Senior year such as SAT's, football banquet, cap and gown orders, Senior pics, yearbook stuff etc. that I hardly ever get a moment's peace and when I do I am breastfeeding or changing diapers.
In addition- I have noticed my blog is getting under 20 views per day, ouch! Soon I will have a lovely new CUSTOM MADE header and SHINY NEW PICTURES which I hope translates into me being a better blogger. Crosses fingers... In the meantime, here are a bunch of totally random pictures of totally random stuff. Have a GROOVY day. I am off to decorate the Christmas tree. Oh joy!

hot cocoa bar, Starbucks eat your heart out! Love my CocoMotion all these years later, thanks Aunt Sarah!


YUM-O The Ashley Hot Chocolate Supreme


the Grinch Who Stole Christmas


Chloe and her trophy from Grands!


trying out hats...


every day...


to keep his male patterned bald head warm!

Stuffing!

I don't have a ton of time to blog tonight- one reason being that we are all sharing one computer... which is practically a national tragedy. So, I'm "stuffing" everything into one post. We made it to Oklahoma once again this year for the BMX races. The ride was interesting now that we have Camden- he did very well but when he got hungry or bored you knew it! We had to pull over so I could feed him twice, I did try once to lean over and feed him, which worked a little but made my back hurt and frustrated him. What is normally a 5 hour drive if we stop for dinner and gas took 7 hours this year. So far I am having an ok time- but I really miss Chan who stayed back in Texas. I guess because of Camden and my new routine I feel really weird being away from home in a hotel with a baby. Plus, I really wanted to be with as much family as possible this year and have a memorable first Thanksgiving for Camden. Don't get me wrong this is fun and I've enjoyed it the last few years but I think the novelty has worn off, so I am not sure what next year holds.... It is Chloe's first year to race and Hunter has kinda lost interest so I am wishing her, Jon, and Hayden good luck! I will definitely keep everyone posted. So funny- last year, Chloe and I had fun walking around the venue in our new sweaters and scarves just chillin' and people watching. We saw a lady with a newborn and I mentioned to Chloe how crazy that woman was to have a new baby in a dusty arena and to have to bunk in a hotel for 5 days. Gee, what a difference a year makes! Here I am hanging out with Hunter and Camden- people watching, bunking in a hotel but also stopping to rock, nurse and soothe a 10 week old baby while my Chloe girl races. Weirdness...
Anyway- we stopped for Thanksgiving lunch at Ruby Tuesday where I had a traditional turkey dinner and my family ate buffalo wings... dorks! Now, we are hanging in our hotel room watching Horton Hears a Who and snacking on junk- squeeze cheese on Ritz, pecan pie and birthday cake. That's right- my Hayden is 8!! Happy Birthday Hayden! Thank goodness we did a party at Trail Dust last weekend or I would have felt that he was cheated on his birthday. But really is he? I mean- road trip, junk food, BMX'ing etc? I'm sure he's having a ball! Anywho, I am off to watch the tube. I hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving!

snacks!


Hayden and his mini birthday cake in our hotel



me and Hayden at Traildust last weekend


Hayden and his cake at Traildust


taking a bath in the hotel sink


Thanksgiving outfit

They're back to where they once belonged...

So... in case you were wondering, I got me a new nursing bra! Woo Hoo, I am sooo happy! I went to Nordstrom on the advice of my sisters and got fitted. Now, I won't lie, it was awkward to have the fitter lady tell me to take off my top... and then have to stand there more nekkid than I am used to under fluorescent lighting. She measured me and came in with a few bras and nada, too small. I felt like I was being squeezed by a boa constrictor. She left and came in with another and as soon as I slipped it on I could hear the angels singing. Honestly, I had forgotten what the girls looked like that close! So, I told her I would take it and she went to the register, put it in a fancy Nordstrom shopping bag, and rang me up. $74 dollars later, I am still a happy woman. It wasn't until I got home that I opened the bag and looked at my new bra and all it's fancy glory. It is silky and beige and oh so lacy and pretty, but very sturdy. The hook on the cups is even fancy- a silk loop! The back hooks look like metal- I am sure they are platinum or something... the brand of the bra is embroidered in cursive on the side and the straps are padded and soft. I am seriously afraid to wear it- ya know spit up, milk etc. I looked at the size AFTER I got home. I won't tell you what it was but I'll give you two hints: it's how old I'll be in 3 years and the 8th letter of the alphabet. Now, I'll leave you alone while you count on your fingers....

thumbsucker!

Out of the first four kiddos Chandler and Chloe were the only ones who would suck on something to self soothe. Chan had a binky til 18 months and Chloe sucked her two middle fingers until she was 4, stopping only after she accidentally shut her fingers in a dresser drawer. Well, now The Camster is sucking his thumb! I know most moms would freak out about this but I think it's adorable! I will cross the Buck Tooth Bridge when we come to it. I am just glad he wants to use something besides myself for a pacifier. So, I took a few pics of him. He is so CUTE! As soon as I laid him on his new playmat that Shannon made he laid there looking at the beautiful patterns, sucking his thumb content as could be for about 30 minutes, which is awesome. He still has a pretty short attention span and gets cranky or bored after too long. Anyway- I just thought it deserved a blog post. Oh and I threw in two random photos because I felt like it.

thumb and index finger sucker



thumbsucker



me and the Chlomeister



red hair

Facebook status update rejects

Ashley Anderson Myers-

wonders if the kids would notice if I put breastmilk in their cereal

never thought she'd have crusty old lady heels... but alas it happened

is so glad Camden doesn't complain about her never ending morning breath

would love to go to the bathroom minus the audience, namely a cat and 6 week old baby

can't believe she found a hair that LONG under her armpit!

Dolly Parton eat your heart out...

is hoping that by not shaving my legs I'll stay warmer in winter...

found a Dorito in her bra, but is ok with it since it means she got lunch and so did Camden

smells like spit-up and is totally cool with it

wonders how many times she has flashed her children a breast...

is starting to sympathize with Pigpen from The Peanuts cartoon

thinks her butt is becoming fused to the couch and that she is quite possibly developing a bad case of "Secretary Spread"

Thinks she heard the cat call her Wide-Load