**DISCLAIMER- I am about to rant. You've been warned.
Ok, so I have reached the I'm so over being pregnant stage. Is it ever gonna end? I can't believe I'm saying that... Just because feeling a baby move inside of you is an amazing yet indescribable feeling. There are other neat things too, but that is the absolute best. However, I am ready to get this baby boy out of my body. Which is bittersweet, because this is the absolute last time I will be pregnant. That being said- I am pretty sure I had a mini nervous breakdown yesterday. I got too hot and went too long without eating and I started having that scary feeling where you can't take a good deep breath. I guess alot of it started Saturday at about 4am when he decided he liked the head down position best, his feet got so tangled up in my rib cage that I was awakened out of a deep sleep. Now, he won't stay out of my ribs and it hurts! I feel like I can't breathe either. He is also squishing my stomach which is making my ulcer and nausea the worst it's ever been. I know I have said that alot, but really it's horrendous. I can't sleep- at least not normal hours. I feel incredibly guilty for not being more fun and involved with the kids so I am constantly apologizing and buying them goodies and lots of ice cream. Nothing fits. I look like crap- all the time. And, I am sooo tired of people acting shocked when I tell them I am pregnant. Apparently I am so morbidly obese I just look like a wide load/lard ass who went back to the buffet one too many times. And, I am scared to death of labor. I know he has to come out but I am terribly frightened. Then, when he comes out, will I remember what to do? Can I do this? Will I be able to manage the baby and my other kids? Will I have any time for me? How will we afford a baby? I guess I should also mention that other than starting the kid's bathroom I am nowhere near closer to getting any bedrooms done and time is ticking fast, which is a whole new can of worms. Really, what I am trying to say is I am losing my mind... I really need some serious encouragement. I need to be pumped up so I can make it emotionally and physically for the remainder of this pregnancy. And, I am not talking about a new purse or a pedicure either. C'mon- help a girl out... I need soothing calming words of encouragement.
P.S. I think Jon should read this. Maybe then he would understand. Ha- who am I kidding?
6 comments:
Okay, Miss Ashley, here you go:
You are a much better woman than I am and I've survived your same state. You can do this! Did I have your same feelings? Yes. Could I express them the way you do? Heck no, but I wish I could have. You're right, these are the "Best of times and the worst of times"; "These things too shall pass"; "Motherhood is the most rewarding and most tortuous job"; "Cobwebs, bathroom redecorating, and bedroom rearranging can wait, I'm building a baby, and babies can't wait." etc., etc. (Cliches become cliches because they are tried and true.) I love ya, girl! Hang in there. Your family is lucky and blessed to have you. You are one amazing Chica!
Need some help? You know I am just around the corner (kinda lol). Let me know if you want some assistance, luckily I am done with most of the re-arranging and decorating so I have some free time.
I hope the rest of the time goes by fast for you!! :( I remember being preggo with Aube and having this overwhelming feeling towards the end of "I CANNOT DO THIS" but it all worked out...one step at a time (isnt that a horrible song? now it's stuck in my head)
Ashley, one of these days you'll be an old grandma like me and you will give anything to have them all around you and wrap your arms around them. I can honestly say that having a baby is and always will be the most awesome and amazing experience a person can go through. Pray hard for everything to go smooth and get another blessing. The time I was the most scared was my hardest birth. I know that doesn't help your physical discomfort but it will go fast. All your chores will wait til you feel better and they aren't as important as your health anyway. I know you don't like advice from me but I have sooo been there. You are beautiful and what people think is not of any importance. Love , Mom
I hope you’re not too upset for a bit of sarcasm – as it is what I do best . . . .
Dude – you’ve already done this 4 times – how can you be scared?!
And – I try not to get all “mother-earthy” and mushy, but this is something I thought about a lot when I attempted a drug-free childbirth with Caedyn (didn’t make it all the way – but that’s another story). God made our bodies to do this. Trust that He made your body to do this – and it WILL do it. YOU can do it. You’ll be FINE! You can’t control everything – so don’t try to. Just let your body do what it was made to do. Okay – enough mush. I’m getting nauseous now . . .
As for the house, isn’t that supposed to be one of the greatest things about having older children? Have they complained about being bored yet? Put those chillins to work!!! :-)
You look absoulutley adorable all the time. You are the greatest mom ever. Your kids are so lucky to have you as their mom. They might not show it all the time, but I know they love and adore you.
Let me know when you need my help even if it is all night. I am always here for you. Take a deep breath and relax it is almost over.
Love ya!! Erin
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