He's got him a high school deeplomaaa!

Oh my gosh... really. I cannot believe my Chan graduated high school. Not that I ever doubted him, not one bit. I am seriously dripping snot and tears as I type this. I guess I'm not good with change, or knowing that he's officially a big kid now and technically doesn't need me anymore. Basically the scissors are hovering near the apron strings and I'm trying to back away... All these years I knew it would hit me HARD when graduation day came. I had him my Senior year and didn't do the whole walk across the stage thing and this was like I graduated right along with him. I just can't believe I won't have to replace another school ID or wash his favorite dress code shorts at midnight or make him his favorite brown bag lunch again and that is making the lump in my throat bigger than it needs to be. I remember every single moment of his first day of kindergarten: he had sausage and pancakes and wore a black and white t-shirt with jeans and these little Payless brand tennis shoes. We even stopped at Sack -n- Save for kleenex because that's a "required" school supply item and I believe we got him an ultra groovy soccer backpack at S&S too. Weird. I was so afraid he was gonna cry and that little fart walked away from me and started coloring and said- "you can go now Mom". Umm, okay. And, he has continued to amaze me ever since- winning 3 spelling bees to reading Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings in 2ND GRADE!! And, man oh man all the neat stories he would write. He has always loved literature and it wasn't until he was 15 that he developed a love of music and guitar. I am just so very happy that I have been able to get to know, teach, and love this kid and love that he teaches me too. I asked my friend Kathi earlier when the lump in my throat would go away and she said never, it just changes as life does and as you experience more and more as you live. Well put. However, I wish mine would simmer down a bit. I'm having a hard time breathing.

Anyway- yesterday was nuts! Typical for us of course but I think it was nuttier than normal. It was a very long day. Starting with Hayden's field day and ending with Chan's graduation. The venue was jampacked and parking was scarce. I ended up parking in a lot but then it started pouring and the attendant ducked for cover, so I never paid, oops. I had Hunter and Cam with me and my mom went in with Chloe and Jon, Hayden, and Chan had gotten there earlier. I was so afraid I was gonna miss him walking in but thankfully I was able to get in there in time. As soon as the music started I stood in amazement and bawled like a baby. And, let's see- I couldn't take my stroller in the stands, my carseat was blocking the aisle and Cam lost patience quick. All in all I was in and out of the stands about ten times. Getting out to leave was insane, I lost my whole family and was shoved many many times. Which, for a feisty redhead was not fun, I tried super hard to maintain my cool.... It was just a crazy night. I drove my mom back to Grand Prairie and scarfed down two Whataburger taquitos in her driveway, the first meal I'd had since noon and it was nearing midnight. Anyway- I am not sure what the future holds for Chan or any of us to be honest. But, I am sorta excited to find out!

about to take their seats for the ceremony


The Graduate!


our family


mama and her baby



the official document

On my Chan-Man

I have been wanting to sit down and blog about Chandler for quite some time, but haven't really had a ton of time to devote to the kind of post I wanted to do. I am determined to get this finished before dawn... Way back in March, Chandler celebrated his 18th birthday. Which, is a huge milestone for so many reasons: he is legally considered an adult now, he can vote, he's old enough to work at Target (score), etc etc. But, the biggest milestone for me personally was that I never imagined I could raise a kid, let alone get one to adulthood. And yes, I know he is barely an adult.

I am not sure how many of you guys that read this know that Chandler has a different father, whom he has never met and that I met his step-dad Jon (who is HIS DAD, regardless of genetics) when he was almost 3. Yes, I was a "single" mom although I did live with my sisters and my parents. I was responsible for his care as much as I physically, emotionally, and financially could- whenever I could. I mainly relied on backup from my sisters because I didn't want my parents to think I couldn't handle a kid, my kid. You see, I had only been 17 for a few short months whenever I got pregnant. I was a statistic- an unwed, pregnant teenager. I was also nearly 16 weeks along before I even found out I was expecting. I strongly suspected it, but was in massive denial and didn't really know where or whom to turn to. It wasn't until I finished up a session at Summer school that I had a few of my friends drive me to a free clinic in Dallas. I pretty much knew I was pregnant, I just needed confirmation. As if the sore breasts, nausea, and terrible exhaustion weren't a big enough clue. So silly, but I remember giving a fake name in case the nurse at the clinic decided to tattle on me. Once I found out I kept it between me, my sisters, and my friends who took me to the clinic. I had always known that I wasn't meant to be your typical young adult, I had felt it since I was a little girl. I just didn't know what my future held- but I was about to find out, quick! I managed to keep my secret for a few weeks and it wasn't until a huge fight with my mom did the cat jump out of the bag. I was terrified of what my dad would say/think. Instead, I think for the first time in several years a light seemed to shine on our family. Little did I know what joy, hope, and happiness he would bring to all of us. Which is what brings me to this post- Chandler's 18th birthday is such a huge milestone because he came into this world 2 weeks after I turned 18. I could go on and on about my life thus far with the Chanster, but I won't. Simply put, yes there were and will continue to be hard days. But, for every hard moment there have been a thousand more awesome ones. I will say that I was headed down the wrong path, doing all kinds of foolish crap and I 100% believe that Chandler saved my life and came into this world when I and my family needed it most. He is such a cool, awesome, smart, funny, quirky kid and I am alot proud and truly honored that he picked me to be his mommy.

gettin' his hair did


me (19) and Chan (1)


Senior night at his school (back in October)


me and Chan and Cam on his 18th birthday (sorta blurry)

Isn't she lovely?

I have noticed lately just how much my baby girl has grown up and changed the last year. I am honestly not sure I am ready for it... Not only is she getting taller, but her facial features are rapidly changing. She is looking more and more like a young woman. And, I may be biased- but I think she is beautiful! She could use an attitude adjustment, but I think about 99% of girls her age are in the same boat. When she's being pleasant, I really like her. But, there are moments EVERY day where she has a mini tantrum. Yikes! I know I gave my mom fits, but dang, Chloe might have me beat... One of my biggest gripes: using my stuff without asking. My razor, facial soap, hair dryer, tweezers, flat iron, makeup, etc. are constantly disappearing and lo and behold, they show up in her room. Call me crazy, but I am thinking the next 7 or so years are gonna be bumpy. Help me!

P.S. here are a few pics taken from last year and the last 2 months

June '08


May '08


March '09


April '09

2010: a party planner's dream

I love to throw parties, showers, dinners, etc. And, I usually go overboard. But, I am afraid I can't wrap my little brain around all that needs to be celebrated in 2010. I seriously need to start rolling pennies or selling plasma so I can afford all these parties. Or get a loan and open a party planning business. Except, that wouldn't make much sense if I was the client AND the hired help now would it? Here's the official LIST of all the awesomeness coming in 2010:

Jon turns 40!
Chan turns 18!
My lil' sis Amy turns 30!
My parent's 50th wedding anniversary!
My mom turns 70!
My big bro Ken turns 50!
Chandler graduates from high school, did you hear me? HIGH SCHOOL!!!

See what I mean? That's a lot of cake and punch! I am starting to plan in my head already. 2009 is gonna be busy too, just not as much. Hunter turns 13, my dad turns 70 as well, and my sister's husband Bryce turns 30. Whew, I may go see if McDonald's is hiring. Ok, maybe Chick-Fil-A, they are closed Sundays and they have infinitely better food.

P.S. family, please let me know if I have forgotten anything, and if I forgot YOU, I apologize.