Alphabutt... potty humor at it's finest

I recently admitted that I never fart in front of my husband, and it's true. But, he has no qualms about farting in front of me. Neither do my boys. I have 5 brothers and a dad who could hold their own in the fart department as well. Growing up, we even called them things other than farts or toots or gas. We called them: windies and speer-hoyts. Don't ask. But, I know Kelli and Amy will laugh when they read those two words. Especially if they remember exactly what a speer-hoyt sounds like... Anyway, while I try to keep a straight face when someone in the family "passes gas", I usually end up laughing. I mean, the sounds and smells that come from my husband and children are almost unbelievable! Which brings me to the reason for this nasty post- I totally laugh at potty humor, whoopie cushions, etc. And, that is precisely why I ordered the funniest CD ever today. It's called Alphabutt and it's by Kimya Dawson. She sang most of the songs on the Juno soundtrack, and she's hilarious! She is an indie/folk singer. This CD is all about those things (like farts and poo) you hate your kids to talk about. But, I figured if you can't beat 'em join 'em. The kids and I headed into Barnes and Noble tonight to buy it and even though it wasn't in stock, we were still able to sample some songs on the headphones. We were laughing so hard we had tears rolling down our faces. I can't wait until Friday when it comes in. Seriously, I am that immature. I can picture us now, driving down the street in the minivan laughing our butts off, and we are having a good time. So, I am sorry for getting into potty humor, but if it helps me and my kids share a laugh in this crazy world, oh well.

Sample Alphabutt here!

Weekly Weigh-In

It's been a whole week already? This week has been interesting, to say the least. Exercise has been minimal, mainly due to alot of laziness and a little boredom. Add in a few shin splints and you get the picture. But, I have tried to make up for it by parking waaaayyyy away from every store I go to and we must have walked the length of the mall 4 times yesterday, because we were lost, so surely that helped. I have had the urge to snack more this week, I blame PMS but who knows? I allowed myself a cheat weekend, crazy I know... My family is no different than alot of families in that we eat out on the weekends more. I try to cook a few nights a week and the others we kinda have "every man for himself". Which means- sandwiches, cereal, or a TV dinner on nights we are busy, like softball, football, etc. Which brings me back to the point, I let myself eat things I haven't had in over a month. A Whataburger Jr (half order of small fries), thin crust supreme pizza (1 & 1/2 slices), and the worst of all.... a hot dog. This better be PMS, because I don't want the last three days of eating to become a habit. Which is exactly how I got this way in the first place. I am still reading and following labels to the letter. If it's not low-cal, I split the recommended serving size in half. I am charting calories like crazy, and NEVER go over 1800. My BMR (basal metabolic rate = the amount of calories you burn even if you were totally sedentary) is 1800, so I figure I for sure won't gain if I stay under it. So, I am happy to report... that I finally HIT 10 POUNDS OFF!! And, I looked up my "happy weight", yes there is a formula to figure this up, and I need to lose exactly 100 more to be there. (Check yours here) Sounds daunting, but I am determined. Several items of clothing are baggy now, which definitely helps. Darn it, I may have to buy NEW clothes? Bummer.... Here's hoping for a good diet/weight report next Sunday.

P.S. I definitely recommend reading labels and most especially checking calories of your fave restaurant food online. I looked at several places I used to frequent and some of the combo meals were over 1,000 calories each. Which explains alot. And, just so you know, on the days I cheated, I had minimal food the rest of the day, like lots of fruit to make up for the cheat.

Girls Only!

Today Jon and the boys headed to Waco to watch OU play Baylor (Go Sooners! Final score: OU 49- Baylor 17, yay OU!), so me and Chloe had a girl's only day. I let her choose the activity if I could choose the restaurant. Well, she chose the mall. Wouldn't have been my first pick, but to her the mall is like, amazing or something. I found it to be hot and crowded. People tend to flock to the mall as if the end of the world is coming. Put it this way, I'll NEVER go the mall on a Saturday again! We ended up eating first at my favorite place, P F Chang's where we shared lettuce wraps and crab wontons. Chloe isn't 100% fond of Chinese and I am still on this diet thing, so we just shared the appetizers and each had one of those shot glass desserts. Chloe had chocolate cake and I had carrot cake, Yum-O! We then went to Bath and Body Works for air fresheners, hand soaps, and bubble bath, and to Claire's so Miss Chloe could get her ears pierced again. Yes, I gave in. She now has two holes in each ear, but is only allowed a teeny earring in the top hole until she's older. She is very proud of her earrings, such a little princess. We made a final stop at Target and played with all of the Halloween goodies and bought a few necessities like Diet Dr. Pepper, Halloween Oreos, and some crazy candy I couldn't resist. We had a fun day, but we are both glad it's time to settle down, we are exhausted!

Chloe showing off her earrings


Queen Momma and Princess Chloe


Me and Chloe, again...


Another earring shot, I told you she was proud!


The CANDY! Gross huh?

He totally had it coming...

I just read that O.J. Simpson was found guilty in the armed robbery case he was being tried for. I do not know all of the details about this case, but I feel as if he has had this coming for many years. I know how the courts work and I know he was found not guilty for murdering his ex-wife and her friend. But, never in a million years would I ever believe he wasn't responsible. He may have gotten 14 years of freedom, but it looks like he may rot in jail after all.

Game Night!

Tonight was homecoming! Chan didn't ask anyone, so I didn't have to make a mum. Thank goodness! I have made one before and let me tell you, it was stress city! Lots of time involved, not to mention getting your finger stapled and burns from the hot glue gun. Anyway- enough mum talk. On to the game. I am still learning about football, even though my boys have played for many years, but I do know one thing: this game was AWESOME! We had to sit on the visitor's side even though we were the home team. I know, I know. It was Jon's fault. He had the cash and was supposed to go at lunch and buy them. But, he got busy at work and we had take what they had left. The action in the stands was almost as exciting as the game. There were two fights (between two women!) and a large group of obnoxious teenagers with bad attitudes and worse language. The man behind me got onto them with me piping (hollering) in with my two cents. The game was sooo good, and ended up going into overtime with a tie score of 28-28. We lost, but it was the best game we have seen in a long time. Seriously, I would probably watch more football games if they were always this good. I am just so proud of Chan. I can't believe my cute little boy is a man now.

Me and Chan. Dude, I freaking love this kid.

Redneck Roller Coaster

Tonight Jon took the kids to Chuck E Cheese while I was at a church meeting. And, on the way home he let Chloe and Hayden do something I never do: he let them stand on the seat with their heads poked out of the sunroof. The pictures are HILARIOUS! I was laughing so hard, I couldn't make myself get mad at him.



**Just a little FYI**

He only let them do it on our street, about the length of three houses. Please don't call CPS on us, and Mom- no lectures. They are tucked snug in their beds.

No children were harmed in the taking of these photos.

Things I learned today:

If you are running late someone slow will get in front of you. They will also be afraid to yield on a left turn and make you miss the light twice.

IT IS possible to get 4 kids ready for school in 29 minutes.

If you wear an empire waist top to your OB appointment, the people in the waiting room will smile at you lovingly and assume you are pregnant.

A chargrilled chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A has the same calories as a 6 piece box of nuggets plus dipping sauce, except you get more food.

Taking a nap only makes you more tired.

Redheads really do look good in green. My dad always said so, but I never really believed him. Until I wore my new $10 top from Target. I think I looked pretty swell even though I looked pregnant.

Smart One's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Sundaes are AWESOME! They don't taste diet at all.

That weight loss plateaus are no fun. I have been stuck at the same weight for days... (9.2 pounds lost)

There are lots of calories in Little Debbie's snack cakes. 300 per two cakes. No, I did not eat them, my husband did. A whole box which equals 1500 calories. Sorry honey. The sad thing is that's how many calories I eat in a whole day.

That I am still cool even though I drive a minivan.

That I forgot just how cute my Halloween decorations really are.

That I am blogging about diet, exercise, and calories way too much, sorry!