*this is long, but please read it all. And, just so you know I could have taken a shower but I decided to blog instead!*
Ok, so I know I said I needed to gather my thoughts before I posted, but I never did. I'm just gonna start typing and hope I don't sound like an idiot. After each of my babies was born I got a little bit blue. It starts as I drive away from the hospital. And, I can only guess it's because the pregnancy is over and all of the attention that was focused on me is now focused on a wrinkly smelly screaming little creature that I am head over heels in love with. Alot of it is exhaustion too. After a week or so I always think I'm in a routine and I have dodged the postpartum depression bullet. But, it rears it's ugly head and the days and nights are a blur and there are lots of tears. By month 3 I am good as new. However, this time it started the minute I found out I was pregnant and got progressively worse as I neared my due date. I knew the minute I found out that I would never be pregnant again and that finality was weighing on me. Because, I love me some babies but I am no Michelle Duggar and I am definitely not Octomom, maybe I'm somewhere in between? Anyway what I am trying to say is, babies are like a drug so to speak. They're intoxicating and soft and amazing and all these wonderful things that outweigh the crying and the poopy diapers and sleepless nights, but you can only have so many. They turn into people, with issues and drama, and stress and I want to be the best mom I can and my plate is full!
Anyways- I was a teeny bit excited and a whole lot scared shi*less. I had never really gotten over being blue when Hayden went off to kindergarten. Plus, I was so nearing freedom with Chan fixing to turn 18 and Hayden able to wipe his own butt and cook his own Kid Cuisines. I was TERRIFIED to have a baby. And, while I admit it was fun to do the whole Surprise! I'm pregnant announcement and belly shots, and buying all new baby goodies and whatnot- deep down I knew I was in for it. Thankfully, I stayed busy with my kids and the pregnancy progressed not too fast, not too slow. Let me stop here and say that during my pregnancy I worked really hard to keep up the facade that I was FINE and EXCITED even though I was sweating nails, often. I was also absolutely THRILLED to have another child, but the dark cloud of postpartum depression constantly loomed over everything.
Fast forward to labor and delivery. The whole time I was in labor I was praying silently in my head that I would dodge the blues. But, guess what? The second they whisked him off to the nursery for his group B strep tests (I was positive, remember?) I almost lost it. Even watching him get his bath an hour later I was standing at the nursery window watching the nurse suds him up and I was trembling and sweating. I really wanted to turn back time at that point. I was in LOVE but I was confused... The first few days home were filled with diaper changes, nursing, naps and endless visitors. I kept waiting for things to feel "normal" again. And, here I am almost 6 months later and guess what? I am a little better than I was that very first day, but not by much. Each day presents different challenges. In the very beginning I would get so frustrated and overwhelmed when Cam would cry. Seeing the laundry and dishes pile up would make me cry even more and my chest ache. Just the day to day of a sorta big family was kicking my butt and stressing me out, BAD! I can't tell you how many times I told Jon that I couldn't do it anymore and if things didn't change I was taking the baby and leaving. What frustrates me most is how I kept getting mad about things like my desk being full of mail or the fact that we had clean but not folded laundry. How silly of me! I have 5 beautiful children and am blessed beyond measure and I am fussing over laundry and unopened mail! But then, there were those same big kids and their fighting and endless stream of activities and school projects. Then, it seemed as if we would ALWAYS need groceries or diapers or milk or something. I'm not even touching on the "I'm a fat, ugly, terrible mom, loser." Or the "I suck at everything, no one loves me, I'm a worthless piece of crap" feelings that were always laughing at me from afar. To top it all off there were days when I felt like WonderWoman. Days when no one fought, homework was done, I cooked a decent dinner and had a chance to shower. I was and am still on a roller coaster ride of emotions. It is not fun. I am trying to feel better though and little things like not sleeping too much, a good long bath, a phone call with a good friend or a much needed scripture verse work wonders. I basically try many many little things each and every day to feel happy and "normal". I hope and pray each day that as soon as I finish nursing for good that my hormones will level out even more and I will feel 100%. I am absolutely GIDDY and BLESSED and in LOVE with my family although Jon and I have seen better days, but I am trying. I am oh so thankful for wise women who have been there both as a shoulder or an ear or those that have experienced the exact same things I am feeling now. I have complete faith in my Heavenly Father that I will get better and this experience is but a blip on my eternal radar and I can only hope that I am learning from this experience each day that passes. For sure makeup and a shower work wonders for me, and simply opening the blinds to let the sun shine in. So, that's it. I am sure I have left out so much, but I hope that at least one person can read this and relate or learn from my experience and if I can help one person in my shoes to smile or feel better then I have accomplished something today. Thanks for reading :)
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Birth Story Part 1
So, it's only taken three whole weeks to get this done. I have been a little busy, to the point of making sure I put eating and showering on my to do list. Plus, my brain is so foggy that it hurt to think of all the birth details... I am gonna give it a try. And, be warned, other than a GORGEOUS baby it's not that exciting but it's long, just because there are lots of little details, (so many that I am gonna do it in two parts). I mean I didn't deliver him in my car and my water didn't break at Target although Jon was afraid it would.
If you recall on September 9th I had the option of an induction. Well, after lots of soul searching and prayer I decided that our baby would come when he was ready. Besides, I knew by the way my body was acting that he was gonna come that day. I had a mother's intuition and I secretly hoped he would come at 9:09 that evening so I could have the distinction of a 9-9-09 at 9:09 baby... So, that morning I got up, called the hospital to cancel the induction, got my kids off to school and went to take my every morning nap. Jon was off that day so I knew I could be lazy all the live long day. I slept from 8 til about 11. When I got up I made me some lunch and plopped my booty on the computer to eat and get in some Facebook time. I was only able to pick at my sandwich a little bit because I had an honest to goodness contraction. I kept quiet though just in case. I did get a little antsy though and I started to do my daily chores like making the beds, laundry and sweeping. I was trying to keep my mind off of the contractions that by then were coming every 15 minutes. I remember telling Jon to go ahead and pack his bag because I was positive our baby was coming some time that day. I finished my chores and made a few phone calls to my mom and sisters. At that point I knew I was in early labor but I was still in denial....
At around 1:30 I jumped in the tub so I could get ready for my 3:00 OB checkup. My contractions were still coming every 15 minutes. By the time I got out of the tub they were coming every 7 to 10 minutes. I managed to get my makeup, clothes and jewelry on while I timed the contractions. They were strong enough to get my attention but not so bad that I couldn't function. I drove to my appointment and when I was sitting in the waiting room they decided to come at 5 minute intervals and boy did they get more painful quick. I would also get an intense urge to vomit with each one so I asked the receptionist for an emesis basin. She said they didn't have any but she would find something. She came out into the waiting room carrying a red Bio-Hazard bag that was large enough for a dead body. Dumb ass... Finally I was called back to be put through the normal prenatal crap- blood pressure check, urine, etc. I told my nurse I was in early labor and she told me once again he probably wouldn't check me (I was in too much pain to argue) but would more than likely send me to the hospital. So, I sat on the table fully dressed and I waited... for 30 minutes while he was in the next room with a patient. I learned so much about birth control that day. In between timing contractions and cursing my OB under my breath, I was rubbernecking. Mainly because I was trying to listen for him to be finished with his other patient and partly because other than text my hubby and sisters and time contractions, what was I supposed to do? Finally he came in and asked me why I wasn't undressed!? I told him his nurse told me to stay clothed because he would more than likely send me to Labor and Delivery. I swear those two... Anyway his exact words were: "I wanna check you and make sure you're not a 7 or 8. I don't want you to deliver in Albertson's." Well, I knew from past experience I was maybe a 4 and besides I was planning on hitting Target on my way home not Albertson's.
Part 2 coming soon
If you recall on September 9th I had the option of an induction. Well, after lots of soul searching and prayer I decided that our baby would come when he was ready. Besides, I knew by the way my body was acting that he was gonna come that day. I had a mother's intuition and I secretly hoped he would come at 9:09 that evening so I could have the distinction of a 9-9-09 at 9:09 baby... So, that morning I got up, called the hospital to cancel the induction, got my kids off to school and went to take my every morning nap. Jon was off that day so I knew I could be lazy all the live long day. I slept from 8 til about 11. When I got up I made me some lunch and plopped my booty on the computer to eat and get in some Facebook time. I was only able to pick at my sandwich a little bit because I had an honest to goodness contraction. I kept quiet though just in case. I did get a little antsy though and I started to do my daily chores like making the beds, laundry and sweeping. I was trying to keep my mind off of the contractions that by then were coming every 15 minutes. I remember telling Jon to go ahead and pack his bag because I was positive our baby was coming some time that day. I finished my chores and made a few phone calls to my mom and sisters. At that point I knew I was in early labor but I was still in denial....
At around 1:30 I jumped in the tub so I could get ready for my 3:00 OB checkup. My contractions were still coming every 15 minutes. By the time I got out of the tub they were coming every 7 to 10 minutes. I managed to get my makeup, clothes and jewelry on while I timed the contractions. They were strong enough to get my attention but not so bad that I couldn't function. I drove to my appointment and when I was sitting in the waiting room they decided to come at 5 minute intervals and boy did they get more painful quick. I would also get an intense urge to vomit with each one so I asked the receptionist for an emesis basin. She said they didn't have any but she would find something. She came out into the waiting room carrying a red Bio-Hazard bag that was large enough for a dead body. Dumb ass... Finally I was called back to be put through the normal prenatal crap- blood pressure check, urine, etc. I told my nurse I was in early labor and she told me once again he probably wouldn't check me (I was in too much pain to argue) but would more than likely send me to the hospital. So, I sat on the table fully dressed and I waited... for 30 minutes while he was in the next room with a patient. I learned so much about birth control that day. In between timing contractions and cursing my OB under my breath, I was rubbernecking. Mainly because I was trying to listen for him to be finished with his other patient and partly because other than text my hubby and sisters and time contractions, what was I supposed to do? Finally he came in and asked me why I wasn't undressed!? I told him his nurse told me to stay clothed because he would more than likely send me to Labor and Delivery. I swear those two... Anyway his exact words were: "I wanna check you and make sure you're not a 7 or 8. I don't want you to deliver in Albertson's." Well, I knew from past experience I was maybe a 4 and besides I was planning on hitting Target on my way home not Albertson's.
Part 2 coming soon
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
A whole lotta nuthin'
Well, I am still pregnant. Crap! Even though I am scared to death of childbirth and newborns in general, I truly am ready to be through with pregnancy- forever! Things have just been SO WEIRD around here. I have had several signs that labor is imminent and was sure he was coming the last two nights. Then, things would stop out of nowhere. I have literally woken up Monday and Tuesday, gotten chores done, kids off to school, and rested all day long thinking any minute my contractions and other symptoms* (TMI, but at the bottom of the post if you're curious) would pick up steam. It has been very frustrating to say the least. I haven't been cooking at all. We have just been doing bachelor food (mac-n-cheese, nachos, raviolis, Ramen, etc) just because- A) I'm exhausted and B) I can't think straight long enough to prepare a meal. I even went so far as to have my mom stay the night last night because I was POSITIVE he was coming. She is now back home, bags packed waiting for my call. I have my sweet friend Erin (my kid's second mom practically) at my beck and call helping me out as well. I feel like everyone around me is holding their breath and I feel like I am disappointing everyone or like The Lady Who Cried Labor. So, once again my bags are by the door, we had a quick easy dinner, and I am freshly bathed in my pj's waiting once more for labor. I sure hope I can start a good labor pattern before 7:30am and I can avoid an induction tomorrow morning. Plus, maybe baby boy can pick his own cool birth date without me prompting him. Once again, Thanks So Much for all the sweet phone calls, texts, and Facebook messages. I am sure y'all are just as ready as I am for him to come. Then, I can get busy blogging about sore nipples, yellow poop, and how tired I am.
*mucus plug and bloody show*
*mucus plug and bloody show*
Saturday, September 5, 2009
waiting, waiting and more waiting.....
I am sitting here on my bed, with a laptop, outfitted in PJ's. And, I am waiting- for a contraction, my water to break, or a baby to land on my bed. I have cleaned the entire house many times over. The clothes the kids slept in are already washed and folded. There is a ton of food in the house and still I wait. For some reason I just knew I was gonna go into labor last night, because I had a hair appointment today I guess? And, obviously he isn't here yet. I had a rough night of sleep, my back was killing me and my dog barked ALL NIGHT LONG. So, I cancelled my hair appointment. The thought of driving to Mansfield when I would rather be resting didn't sound very appealing at all. Plus, I figured when he's a few weeks old a fresh color and cut would do wonders after many sleepless nights, poopy diapers, spit up in the hair, and day after day of sweats and bad breath. Honestly who is gonna notice my hair-do when I am busy pushing a baby out anyway?
Anyway- as of now I have an induction scheduled Wednesday (9-9-09) if I choose to be induced or I haven't gone into labor by then. I am very leery of inductions- I have been induced twice and when your baby isn't ready to come out, it' a long brutal process. So, I am gonna try anything and everything to get labor going this weekend. And, if not I will cancel the induction if I chicken out. The 9-9-09 birthday would be cool, but I really want him to be born on his watch not mine. I am just surprised that he hasn't come yet. I haven't really been resting at all. I have cleaned and walked and pushed myself physically every day for the last two weeks and still he's staying put. He has dropped so low and I have so much pressure down below that for the first time in 5 pregnancies- I WADDLE!
So, that's the state of things. I am just waiting. Today I am alternating between the couch, my bed, housework, the bathroom, and the fridge. And, I am crossing my fingers....
Anyway- as of now I have an induction scheduled Wednesday (9-9-09) if I choose to be induced or I haven't gone into labor by then. I am very leery of inductions- I have been induced twice and when your baby isn't ready to come out, it' a long brutal process. So, I am gonna try anything and everything to get labor going this weekend. And, if not I will cancel the induction if I chicken out. The 9-9-09 birthday would be cool, but I really want him to be born on his watch not mine. I am just surprised that he hasn't come yet. I haven't really been resting at all. I have cleaned and walked and pushed myself physically every day for the last two weeks and still he's staying put. He has dropped so low and I have so much pressure down below that for the first time in 5 pregnancies- I WADDLE!
So, that's the state of things. I am just waiting. Today I am alternating between the couch, my bed, housework, the bathroom, and the fridge. And, I am crossing my fingers....
Thursday, September 3, 2009
In a nutty shell...
Today I:
got up at 6
went to the OB at 10
got numb/frostbite butt sitting "naked from the waist down" waiting on OB, I am no more dilated or effaced than I was last week... CRAP!
had lunch at home by myself at 12:30
surfed the net til 2
picked Hayden up from school early because I can
napped from 3:15 til 5 (love having older kids, they made their own snack and started homework!)
did a spit shine on entire house and cooked and ate dinner from 5:30 til 7:30
forgot that it was Meet the Teacher at the middle school between bites of meatloaf, oops!
folded three baskets of laundry and read with Hayden
put Hayden and Chloe to bed at 9
haven't left the couch or computer since, except to pee 7 times
fixing to go to bed, I might brush my teeth....
Tomorrow I'm:
getting the kids off to school from 6 til 8
sitting my fat butt on the couch at 8:01 and I am only getting up to eat and potty
**I am not leaving the couch til 2 when I have to get ready to get Hayden. This is because I am SO DONE being pregnant and I am tired. And, because I can. Tomorrow after school- who knows? It depends on if I can tap into some energy of kind. Doubtful. Did I mention I'm done? I have never been more glad to see Friday coming and I might be able to muster a cartwheel because it's a three day weekend. Maybe. Watch me go into labor on Labor Day, how fitting.
P.S. please pray for rain, this will make my Couch Potato Fest all the more fun!
got up at 6
went to the OB at 10
got numb/frostbite butt sitting "naked from the waist down" waiting on OB, I am no more dilated or effaced than I was last week... CRAP!
had lunch at home by myself at 12:30
surfed the net til 2
picked Hayden up from school early because I can
napped from 3:15 til 5 (love having older kids, they made their own snack and started homework!)
did a spit shine on entire house and cooked and ate dinner from 5:30 til 7:30
forgot that it was Meet the Teacher at the middle school between bites of meatloaf, oops!
folded three baskets of laundry and read with Hayden
put Hayden and Chloe to bed at 9
haven't left the couch or computer since, except to pee 7 times
fixing to go to bed, I might brush my teeth....
Tomorrow I'm:
getting the kids off to school from 6 til 8
sitting my fat butt on the couch at 8:01 and I am only getting up to eat and potty
**I am not leaving the couch til 2 when I have to get ready to get Hayden. This is because I am SO DONE being pregnant and I am tired. And, because I can. Tomorrow after school- who knows? It depends on if I can tap into some energy of kind. Doubtful. Did I mention I'm done? I have never been more glad to see Friday coming and I might be able to muster a cartwheel because it's a three day weekend. Maybe. Watch me go into labor on Labor Day, how fitting.
P.S. please pray for rain, this will make my Couch Potato Fest all the more fun!
Monday, August 31, 2009
A birth story
**NO I have not had him yet** I am delirious from lack of sleep and decided to blog about when I had Hayden.
Uggh! I have been up for an hour- it's now 5:03 am. Crap! Today was the day I was gonna run several last minute errands and tackle a few little chores. I have forbidden this baby from coming out til I finish this list. Now it looks as if I am gonna spend a good part of my day napping. Hopefully I can get to my list before bedtime tonight. And, before you say anything- yes I know it's not a big deal if I don't finish my list. But, I really want to cross everything off. I just have this urgency that I can't describe.
I had the same thing going on when I went into labor with Hayden:
I was on week two of my maternity leave, it was a Monday and I knew I had to get this list done so I could relax and wait on him to come. I had planned the day out: OB for my check-up, take Chloe to gymnastics, have lunch with Kelli and Amy, after which I would hit Burlington Coat Factory for coats (an ice storm was coming) and the grocery store so we wouldn't starve during said ice storm. I had a feeling the contractions I had been having that morning were the real deal and when I got to the doctor I had dilated to a 3 and I had been a 2 the week before. So, the urgency to get my list done kicked into hyper drive. I ran by the house to grab Chloe for her class (Jon had the day off and was working on his portion of the list) and told Jon to go ahead and shower so we could run our errands as I was pretty sure I would be having the baby that day. I planned to come back by to get him after Chloe was finished. I called Kelli and Amy and told them lunch was off- I was afraid to eat just in case... Almost immediately after Chloe's class began my contractions started to be more frequent and intense. I sat and tried to watch her, all the while timing my contractions and trying to remain calm. At this point they were about 10 minutes apart. However, I thought I could still get all my errands done. I went home when Chloe finished and got Jon and off we went. First stop: the coat store. I made it from the parking lot to the first rack of coats and my contractions intensified quick- they were now coming every 7 minutes or so. And me? I kept shopping. Breathing through them and leaning on the cart, because it felt better that way. I somehow grabbed coats and gloves for the kids and even managed to stop in home decor to grab a birthday gift!
I knew standing and contracting in the checkout line that the grocery store was not gonna happen. I called my doctor who told me to head to the hospital. But, we had to grab Chan and Hunter from school first. Honestly I am not sure what was more painful- waiting on Jon to come back to the car with the boys or driving through construction and school zones while contracting.... Put it this way- it was a reeaal long drive.
During my entire pregnancy I had grand plans (I have them now as well) to have all the kids there to witness the birth. I would have freshly painted toenails, soft smooth legs and bikini line, full makeup, etc. There would be calming music playing and friends stopping by while I sat in bed all epidural-ed and pain free, just waiting until I was told to push. HA! I quickly figured out I was NOT in charge. Not only was I not near as dilated as I had hoped- but my labor stalled when they stuck me in bed. At this point it was about 3 in the afternoon and little did I know it was gonna be a long night. Most of my labor from that point on was a blur.... I remember my mom showing up, my kids driving me INSANE, Kelli and Amy coming to retrieve the kiddos and get them McDonald's, several friends showing up to see the baby, and me in tears because he wasn't coming fast enough and my epidural was NOT working. I remember being so frustrated and so done with ever having more kids. At that point if Jon even got near me- he would have lost his manhood....
Finally around 8 it was time to push. Which I did. I pushed until I couldn't push anymore. Over two and a half hours passed and no baby. My doctor (who had been off playing video games in the doctor's lounge) came in and told me if the baby wasn't born by 11- I was gonna have a c-section. I had been vomiting and needing oxygen and I think he wanted out more than I wanted him out. Really though, I think my doctor wanted to go home. I know I did.... I flat out refused to be cut open. So, I said a prayer- for strength and courage and had them turn off my epidural. All it was doing was making my legs numb, while I writhed in pain. (This is a result of scar tissue in my back and the very reason I am not sure I can have an epidural this go round.) I had little to no pain relief throughout the entire labor. Let me tell you- that prayer and my faith worked wonders, I felt like Xena the Warrior Princess or something. I pushed him out 16 minutes later! I was so relieved! And, as my mother in law will tell you my exact words were: "I am done- no more babies ever." I have never been so glad as I was then- he was beautiful and perfect and fat- 8lbs 3 oz, my biggest baby ever and a big shock after Chloe who weighed in at 6lbs 14 oz. It was a rough labor, I can't stress that enough. My memory has failed me about all the details but I do know most of my anxiety about labor is because with Hayden it was sooo bad.
So, I sit here this morning with freshly painted toes, smooth legs, and groceries. I only have a few little things on my list... and I am having some little contractions. I am almost positive it's not the real deal. It can't be, I have a list to finish first.
the kiddos, Hayden was about 18 hours old and look Chloe has on her new coat
Uggh! I have been up for an hour- it's now 5:03 am. Crap! Today was the day I was gonna run several last minute errands and tackle a few little chores. I have forbidden this baby from coming out til I finish this list. Now it looks as if I am gonna spend a good part of my day napping. Hopefully I can get to my list before bedtime tonight. And, before you say anything- yes I know it's not a big deal if I don't finish my list. But, I really want to cross everything off. I just have this urgency that I can't describe.
I had the same thing going on when I went into labor with Hayden:
I was on week two of my maternity leave, it was a Monday and I knew I had to get this list done so I could relax and wait on him to come. I had planned the day out: OB for my check-up, take Chloe to gymnastics, have lunch with Kelli and Amy, after which I would hit Burlington Coat Factory for coats (an ice storm was coming) and the grocery store so we wouldn't starve during said ice storm. I had a feeling the contractions I had been having that morning were the real deal and when I got to the doctor I had dilated to a 3 and I had been a 2 the week before. So, the urgency to get my list done kicked into hyper drive. I ran by the house to grab Chloe for her class (Jon had the day off and was working on his portion of the list) and told Jon to go ahead and shower so we could run our errands as I was pretty sure I would be having the baby that day. I planned to come back by to get him after Chloe was finished. I called Kelli and Amy and told them lunch was off- I was afraid to eat just in case... Almost immediately after Chloe's class began my contractions started to be more frequent and intense. I sat and tried to watch her, all the while timing my contractions and trying to remain calm. At this point they were about 10 minutes apart. However, I thought I could still get all my errands done. I went home when Chloe finished and got Jon and off we went. First stop: the coat store. I made it from the parking lot to the first rack of coats and my contractions intensified quick- they were now coming every 7 minutes or so. And me? I kept shopping. Breathing through them and leaning on the cart, because it felt better that way. I somehow grabbed coats and gloves for the kids and even managed to stop in home decor to grab a birthday gift!
I knew standing and contracting in the checkout line that the grocery store was not gonna happen. I called my doctor who told me to head to the hospital. But, we had to grab Chan and Hunter from school first. Honestly I am not sure what was more painful- waiting on Jon to come back to the car with the boys or driving through construction and school zones while contracting.... Put it this way- it was a reeaal long drive.
During my entire pregnancy I had grand plans (I have them now as well) to have all the kids there to witness the birth. I would have freshly painted toenails, soft smooth legs and bikini line, full makeup, etc. There would be calming music playing and friends stopping by while I sat in bed all epidural-ed and pain free, just waiting until I was told to push. HA! I quickly figured out I was NOT in charge. Not only was I not near as dilated as I had hoped- but my labor stalled when they stuck me in bed. At this point it was about 3 in the afternoon and little did I know it was gonna be a long night. Most of my labor from that point on was a blur.... I remember my mom showing up, my kids driving me INSANE, Kelli and Amy coming to retrieve the kiddos and get them McDonald's, several friends showing up to see the baby, and me in tears because he wasn't coming fast enough and my epidural was NOT working. I remember being so frustrated and so done with ever having more kids. At that point if Jon even got near me- he would have lost his manhood....
Finally around 8 it was time to push. Which I did. I pushed until I couldn't push anymore. Over two and a half hours passed and no baby. My doctor (who had been off playing video games in the doctor's lounge) came in and told me if the baby wasn't born by 11- I was gonna have a c-section. I had been vomiting and needing oxygen and I think he wanted out more than I wanted him out. Really though, I think my doctor wanted to go home. I know I did.... I flat out refused to be cut open. So, I said a prayer- for strength and courage and had them turn off my epidural. All it was doing was making my legs numb, while I writhed in pain. (This is a result of scar tissue in my back and the very reason I am not sure I can have an epidural this go round.) I had little to no pain relief throughout the entire labor. Let me tell you- that prayer and my faith worked wonders, I felt like Xena the Warrior Princess or something. I pushed him out 16 minutes later! I was so relieved! And, as my mother in law will tell you my exact words were: "I am done- no more babies ever." I have never been so glad as I was then- he was beautiful and perfect and fat- 8lbs 3 oz, my biggest baby ever and a big shock after Chloe who weighed in at 6lbs 14 oz. It was a rough labor, I can't stress that enough. My memory has failed me about all the details but I do know most of my anxiety about labor is because with Hayden it was sooo bad.
So, I sit here this morning with freshly painted toes, smooth legs, and groceries. I only have a few little things on my list... and I am having some little contractions. I am almost positive it's not the real deal. It can't be, I have a list to finish first.
the kiddos, Hayden was about 18 hours old and look Chloe has on her new coat
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Pig's Feet
So, I am willing for the sake of my blog to show y'all a picture of my cankles. In four pregnancies I have NEVER had swollen anything. I can wear my rings, high heels, etc. Well, my rings still fit but high heels are gonna have to wait awhile. Yes, I know I have a bunion and yes I desperately needed a pedicure when the pic with the black toenails was taken. I got one last night but unfortunately it did nothing for the swelling. If anything it's worse. Without further ado, my feet:
Thursday evening
Saturday afternoon
Thursday evening
Saturday afternoon
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Back to the OB she went.....
So, today I went in for another check-up. Seriously- bad experience... First I was late and was courteous enough to call. That idiotic receptionist tried to tell me if I was more than 15 minutes late he would have to reschedule! Really? What about all the times he made me wait over an hour?? I managed to slip in a whopping 4 minutes late! Miraculously, I was called back within 5 minutes. Where I was promptly weighed, I am up 1.5 more pounds, wowza! The minute I got in the room I told my nurse exactly what I thought of the receptionist, it rhymes with witch. Then she told me my Group B Strep test was positive. Which made my blood pressure climb to 140/90 and my feet to swell like balloons! Ok, my feet were already swollen but still! They did get bigger, much bigger. I am sensing lots of rubber flip flop days in my future. Anyway, back to the point- Of course I was sitting there panicking about the strep test because I had Googled it the other day and it scared the bejeezus out of me! That didn't help matters one bit! Then that silly nurse asked me if I wanted to be checked for dilation and effacement!! I said to her: "of course I do, don't all doctors check at 36 weeks on?" And she acted like I was WEIRD! That got me even hotter! Anyway, he finally came in and molested my cervix with his big fat fingers. Which was horribly painful and not at all something I care to do again. I think I may tell her no next week when she asks if I want to be checked. She might wet her freaking scrubs. Anyway... to make a long blog post short- I am dilated 1 to 2 centimeters and starting to efface a TINY bit. Which sounds promising if you are going to give birth to a Lee press on nail... As of now, I am on strict doctor's orders to rest with a vat of bon-bons and some cheesy television. Which I fully plan on obeying ;)
P.S. After I calmed down a bit I had my blood pressure checked again and it was down to 122/76 so that's good!
P.S. After I calmed down a bit I had my blood pressure checked again and it was down to 122/76 so that's good!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
on going to the OB....
With pregnancy comes frequent trips to the OB, as we all know. The first visit is fun- you're having a BABY! And, if you're lucky you get a sonogram picture of your little peanut. The next several visits are pretty uneventful, not counting the monthly heartbeat check. For me it's an opportunity to wear a cute maternity outfit and some makeup and if I'm real lucky- my husband will take me to lunch afterwards. It's the visits that come from 36 weeks on that STINK! And, today was no exception. Even though my doctor should have technically checked my "progress" last week- he chose to put it off.... not sure why? I had already gotten up at the butt crack of dawn (8:00) yesterday and after sitting there for 30 minutes I was sent home because he had an emergency c-section to attend to. I was so peeved. So, I head back today and am relieved to be the first patient. It's when I get to the ladies room to leave a urine sample that I realize that my underwear are on inside out... lovely. I get on the scale- where I am up 2 pounds after losing 2 the week before, even lovelier. The nurse takes me to a room and says "well, he's not here yet so"... I pretty much tuned her out at that point because I am afraid I might curse at her and then I hear- "he's probably not gonna check your progress today anyway." Ugghhh, are you freaking serious?! I shaved for nothing?! But, she does tell me he is gonna do a swab for Group B strep- which requires me to be naked anyway. And I am thinking- dude, just check me please! He finally shows up and dang it if he doesn't want to chit chat! About his son's recent fender bender, school clothes, tax free shopping and on and on, before you know it an hour has passed! FINALLY he tells me he will check me in addition to the swab and heartbeat- YES! (On a sidenote- I can't believe I am excited to have a stranger examine my girly bits). He leaves and I quick drop trou, making sure to right the wrong undies for when I slip them back on. And, then I kid you not I hear his office door shut where he proceeds to have a meeting with his office manager! FOR almost 30 WHOLE MINUTES! And, I sit there fuming. Wanting to tiptoe my naked butt to the magazine rack that's 3 feet away for an outdated Family Circle to read, or wishing my phone was closer so I could text someone- anyone! But, the fear of being caught keeps me from getting off the table. So, I sit there and wonder where all those spider veins came from and how my recently pedicured feet got so dry and is my butt hanging out and... TWENTY SEVEN minutes later he comes back in and lickety split does everything while talking about football season for his boys- with really cold hands I might add. It literally took him 3 whole minutes to tell me- I AM NOT DILATED. I leave the office crampy and cranky. When I see that I have 15 minutes to get breakfast before Chick-Fil-A stops serving I speed through the parking lot with my debit card in hand. And, not only do I get served an old stringy chicken biscuit- the woman gives me the wrong drink AND drops my debit card UNDER my van! Oh man, what a morning! I knew at that point if I didn't get home and take a nap that my day was gonna continue to go down the tubes. I am a pessimist that way... I am pleased to report that after a 3 hour nap I am chipper and alert and ready to hit the mall for school clothes. Wow, did I just say that?
Sunday, August 16, 2009
WARNING: Labor Inducer
Here's a picture of Jon's truck.
It's an '04 Harley Davidson edition F-250. Or in another words, more effective than Pitocin. Seriously in about three weeks if the baby still hasn't made an appearance, I am going cruising in this bad boy. Because the last two times I have driven it I have had some pretty intense Braxton Hicks contractions. It might be partly due to the crappy asphalt roads out here in the boonies, but the combination of the two are sure to get labor started. Definitely I won't be driving it again for at least 21 days. He is NOT ALLOWED to be born til after Labor Day.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Trying to be Positive Patsy when I feel like Negative Nancy.....
Ok, so first of all I feel like I should say thanks and sorry at the same time. I feel like I complain ALOT on here and I am grateful for the sweet comments when I do. I guess it's easier to type my feelings as opposed to writing them in a journal. And, I am pretty sure the people around me are tired of hearing me complain, so my internet "audience" gets to hear me rant.
That being said, this last month of pregnancy is doing a number on me. I am sooo stressed it's pathetic. I have ALOT of school shopping left to do, baby stuff that needs my attention, and 4 bored kids. And, to top it all off- Chandler (my oldest child of broken bones, torn ligaments, staph infection fame) has injured himself YET AGAIN...! This time he dislocated his elbow, which doesn't seem that bad to me but what do I know? He had to be taken to the ER where they put him under to put the elbow back in place and is now in a sling for who knows how long and will miss about 6 weeks of his Senior year of Varsity football. Already he is driving me NUTS! Bored, hungry, etc. every 15 minutes. He is on Vicodin ES which has made him pretty much unable to help me by watching the kids so I can get school shopping and planning done. I have been stuck at home for 3 days and I guess I might be having a hormonal woe is me cabin fever kind of thing going on.
Plus, I am FREAKING out worse than ever about childbirth. I made the mistake of reading about unmedicated natural childbirth and I am absolutely scared to DEATH!! I am assuming the fact that I know he has to come out somehow is making me antsy. Really, do they still put you under and deliver the baby? That way I can wake up and he's here! I don't really want to do that, but as each day ticks by I am getting more and more anxious. Not even chocolate is helping.... I think I am quite possibly driving Jon bonkers as well. And, he is the most laid back person I know. In addition to all of that I can't wake up before 11 each morning and I am taking naps right after dinner each evening. Will things ever be back to normal? Really though, what is normal? Anyway, thanks yet again for listening. I am off to take a mid-afternoon bubble bath. Wish me luck and stuff.
That being said, this last month of pregnancy is doing a number on me. I am sooo stressed it's pathetic. I have ALOT of school shopping left to do, baby stuff that needs my attention, and 4 bored kids. And, to top it all off- Chandler (my oldest child of broken bones, torn ligaments, staph infection fame) has injured himself YET AGAIN...! This time he dislocated his elbow, which doesn't seem that bad to me but what do I know? He had to be taken to the ER where they put him under to put the elbow back in place and is now in a sling for who knows how long and will miss about 6 weeks of his Senior year of Varsity football. Already he is driving me NUTS! Bored, hungry, etc. every 15 minutes. He is on Vicodin ES which has made him pretty much unable to help me by watching the kids so I can get school shopping and planning done. I have been stuck at home for 3 days and I guess I might be having a hormonal woe is me cabin fever kind of thing going on.
Plus, I am FREAKING out worse than ever about childbirth. I made the mistake of reading about unmedicated natural childbirth and I am absolutely scared to DEATH!! I am assuming the fact that I know he has to come out somehow is making me antsy. Really, do they still put you under and deliver the baby? That way I can wake up and he's here! I don't really want to do that, but as each day ticks by I am getting more and more anxious. Not even chocolate is helping.... I think I am quite possibly driving Jon bonkers as well. And, he is the most laid back person I know. In addition to all of that I can't wake up before 11 each morning and I am taking naps right after dinner each evening. Will things ever be back to normal? Really though, what is normal? Anyway, thanks yet again for listening. I am off to take a mid-afternoon bubble bath. Wish me luck and stuff.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Baby Showers!
Me and the baby (and Jon) were recently the guests of honor at not one but TWO baby showers. They were thrown by my sweet sister Kelli and two sweet friends, Erin and Sarah. One was for my friends from Grand Prairie and Arlington and one was for our couple friends. And, these ladies went all out. We're not just talking cake and punch here. We're talking FOOD, FAVORS, AWESOME CAKE, DECORATIONS! And, these sneaky ladies not only planned and hosted a great party- they gave me gifts too. Which, they will be getting spanked for.... as soon as I have some energy to do so. I specifically told them no gifts if they hosted the shower, but they didn't listen. I had a great time at both showers and I think Jon had a pretty swell time as well, he did pretty good for his first ever baby shower! I am just so thankful for my friends and family, that I was all mushy both days. I was able to score enough clothes, blankets, diapers, toys, sheets, and all manner of fun things that baby boy is spoiled already! I was also able to get a ton of gift cards that I am gonna put towards some of my bigger items. Thanks again for a great time! I am a lucky girl to have such an amazing support system. I have but a few photos, I was too busy eating and talking to take very many. But, I know for sure Miss Sarah has some great ones over at her blog. She was able to get pics of all the cute decorations. Check it out here. I may be able to scam some from Erin sometime too, we'll see.
P.S. I do believe I am in the home stretch....!
about to open our loot at couple's shower (gotta love my hips, they were made for birthing babies or so it appears)
cutting the cake (aww, just like our wedding day)
kiss, kiss (they made us)
me and Miss Chloe at my girls only soiree
P.S. I do believe I am in the home stretch....!
about to open our loot at couple's shower (gotta love my hips, they were made for birthing babies or so it appears)
cutting the cake (aww, just like our wedding day)
kiss, kiss (they made us)
me and Miss Chloe at my girls only soiree
Monday, August 3, 2009
Thirty Six-
days left to be pregnant
days left to pee every 15 minutes
rolls of toilet paper
doses of Pepcid AC
times to be allowed to nap and not feel guilty
days to have fattening cravings
days to watch my baby kick and squirm in my belly
days where it's ok to have a fat belly
days to avoid the litter box
days to be a human oven during a Texas summer
days to have thick luxurious hair
days to wear maternity undies
days to not have to worry about birth control
more days of morning sickness (crossing fingers)
more foot rubs
more days to make my kids to more chores than normal
more times I can use pregnancy as an excuse for anything
and, BONUS- I'll be 36 on my next birthday!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
She's hit a brick wall...
**DISCLAIMER- I am about to rant. You've been warned.
Ok, so I have reached the I'm so over being pregnant stage. Is it ever gonna end? I can't believe I'm saying that... Just because feeling a baby move inside of you is an amazing yet indescribable feeling. There are other neat things too, but that is the absolute best. However, I am ready to get this baby boy out of my body. Which is bittersweet, because this is the absolute last time I will be pregnant. That being said- I am pretty sure I had a mini nervous breakdown yesterday. I got too hot and went too long without eating and I started having that scary feeling where you can't take a good deep breath. I guess alot of it started Saturday at about 4am when he decided he liked the head down position best, his feet got so tangled up in my rib cage that I was awakened out of a deep sleep. Now, he won't stay out of my ribs and it hurts! I feel like I can't breathe either. He is also squishing my stomach which is making my ulcer and nausea the worst it's ever been. I know I have said that alot, but really it's horrendous. I can't sleep- at least not normal hours. I feel incredibly guilty for not being more fun and involved with the kids so I am constantly apologizing and buying them goodies and lots of ice cream. Nothing fits. I look like crap- all the time. And, I am sooo tired of people acting shocked when I tell them I am pregnant. Apparently I am so morbidly obese I just look like a wide load/lard ass who went back to the buffet one too many times. And, I am scared to death of labor. I know he has to come out but I am terribly frightened. Then, when he comes out, will I remember what to do? Can I do this? Will I be able to manage the baby and my other kids? Will I have any time for me? How will we afford a baby? I guess I should also mention that other than starting the kid's bathroom I am nowhere near closer to getting any bedrooms done and time is ticking fast, which is a whole new can of worms. Really, what I am trying to say is I am losing my mind... I really need some serious encouragement. I need to be pumped up so I can make it emotionally and physically for the remainder of this pregnancy. And, I am not talking about a new purse or a pedicure either. C'mon- help a girl out... I need soothing calming words of encouragement.
P.S. I think Jon should read this. Maybe then he would understand. Ha- who am I kidding?
Ok, so I have reached the I'm so over being pregnant stage. Is it ever gonna end? I can't believe I'm saying that... Just because feeling a baby move inside of you is an amazing yet indescribable feeling. There are other neat things too, but that is the absolute best. However, I am ready to get this baby boy out of my body. Which is bittersweet, because this is the absolute last time I will be pregnant. That being said- I am pretty sure I had a mini nervous breakdown yesterday. I got too hot and went too long without eating and I started having that scary feeling where you can't take a good deep breath. I guess alot of it started Saturday at about 4am when he decided he liked the head down position best, his feet got so tangled up in my rib cage that I was awakened out of a deep sleep. Now, he won't stay out of my ribs and it hurts! I feel like I can't breathe either. He is also squishing my stomach which is making my ulcer and nausea the worst it's ever been. I know I have said that alot, but really it's horrendous. I can't sleep- at least not normal hours. I feel incredibly guilty for not being more fun and involved with the kids so I am constantly apologizing and buying them goodies and lots of ice cream. Nothing fits. I look like crap- all the time. And, I am sooo tired of people acting shocked when I tell them I am pregnant. Apparently I am so morbidly obese I just look like a wide load/lard ass who went back to the buffet one too many times. And, I am scared to death of labor. I know he has to come out but I am terribly frightened. Then, when he comes out, will I remember what to do? Can I do this? Will I be able to manage the baby and my other kids? Will I have any time for me? How will we afford a baby? I guess I should also mention that other than starting the kid's bathroom I am nowhere near closer to getting any bedrooms done and time is ticking fast, which is a whole new can of worms. Really, what I am trying to say is I am losing my mind... I really need some serious encouragement. I need to be pumped up so I can make it emotionally and physically for the remainder of this pregnancy. And, I am not talking about a new purse or a pedicure either. C'mon- help a girl out... I need soothing calming words of encouragement.
P.S. I think Jon should read this. Maybe then he would understand. Ha- who am I kidding?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
He's got the cutest little baby face....
I went yesterday for my 3D sonogram. Of course the baby was being a little stubborn. He was awake but was hanging out in one position. He had his arm tucked around both legs and and his legs were right in his face. We tried everything to get him to move... but nothing. The sono technician did manage to get a few face shots. And if you were wondering- yes he is definitely still a boy! Chloe is still skeptical- even though his boy parts were larger than life on a projector screen. He opened one eye at one point as if to see what all the fuss was about. Personally I am amazed at technology- that you can see what your baby looks like before they make their big appearance. I remember with all the other kids just having a grainy ultrasound pic and being completely surprised at delivery. Especially with Hunter who hid the goods through FIVE sonograms. Anyway- he looks like my other kiddos and looks perfectly adorable to me. Oh yeah- although I have no photo to show for it, he definitely has my thighs. The first thing we saw when she started the scan was two FAT thighs, they already look ripe for squeezing!
what are you looking at? See his little eye open?
P.S. just a little FYI- I have officially gained back every single pound I lost, plus 2... And, I had a little scare with my blood pressure last week (it was reading 135/85 which is high for me) and this week was much better 125/72. Turns out I was ALOT anxious and a little dehydrated.
what are you looking at? See his little eye open?
P.S. just a little FYI- I have officially gained back every single pound I lost, plus 2... And, I had a little scare with my blood pressure last week (it was reading 135/85 which is high for me) and this week was much better 125/72. Turns out I was ALOT anxious and a little dehydrated.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
on my mind...
My poor neglected blog. I really really want to post more but I can't. I even have pictures I could put on here. But I'm LAZY! I attempted to change my header and background today but I chickened out. I kid myself that lots of people read this and care if I post or not and for the handful of you that do- I am sooo sorry. I am gonna get it together eventually....
My head hurts so bad right now I feel like it's going to explode. Pretty much all I can take is Tylenol and it does nothing for me. I think I would feel worlds better if Chloe would stop being a turd and yelling at me and bouncing a ball and if Chandler would stop playing his guitar. Help me...
I wish someone could get Jon to understand a pregnant woman's need to nest. He just will not get busy and work on the Honey Do list I gave him. We have so much to do before I feel like my nest is properly feathered and I am getting zero cooperation. If anyone has a husband to spare- send him over. Our poor house is in such disarray and I am going to lose my mind if we don't get the ball rolling soon. Which might explain the headache. Hmmm...
Is it hot enough for ya? OMG- I feel like I may melt multiple times a day. It is SO BAD! I have lived in Texas my whole life and have been very pregnant through two other summers and never ever remember it being this bad. Remember when I said I was gonna live in my pool? Well, I lied. I have been swimming a whopping two times. It is just not worth it and the water is like a bathtub it is so warm. Really my favorite thing to do is be lazy in the A/C. I feel sorry for my kids, I know they are so bored and I feel really guilty. I am gonna take them somewhere fun this week as long as it involves cold beverages and air conditioning. Any ideas?
Tomorrow I am gonna splurge and get a 3D ultrasound. Yes, I know I just had one but not 3D! I am sooo excited. I am taking Jon and all the kids and I know they will be fascinated and surprised. I wanted one so bad with Hayden and they were fairly new and super expensive, so I figured I would splurge on one. Thanks for the coupon Shawna!
And, last but not least: I am currently obsessed with two items. One is a Hawaiian Punch Lemon Berry Icee. I got one at Target and I can't stop thinking about it. The other is the Sonic cherry lime-aid chiller. So Good. As a matter of fact, I may have to get one now since Sonic is still open...
My head hurts so bad right now I feel like it's going to explode. Pretty much all I can take is Tylenol and it does nothing for me. I think I would feel worlds better if Chloe would stop being a turd and yelling at me and bouncing a ball and if Chandler would stop playing his guitar. Help me...
I wish someone could get Jon to understand a pregnant woman's need to nest. He just will not get busy and work on the Honey Do list I gave him. We have so much to do before I feel like my nest is properly feathered and I am getting zero cooperation. If anyone has a husband to spare- send him over. Our poor house is in such disarray and I am going to lose my mind if we don't get the ball rolling soon. Which might explain the headache. Hmmm...
Is it hot enough for ya? OMG- I feel like I may melt multiple times a day. It is SO BAD! I have lived in Texas my whole life and have been very pregnant through two other summers and never ever remember it being this bad. Remember when I said I was gonna live in my pool? Well, I lied. I have been swimming a whopping two times. It is just not worth it and the water is like a bathtub it is so warm. Really my favorite thing to do is be lazy in the A/C. I feel sorry for my kids, I know they are so bored and I feel really guilty. I am gonna take them somewhere fun this week as long as it involves cold beverages and air conditioning. Any ideas?
Tomorrow I am gonna splurge and get a 3D ultrasound. Yes, I know I just had one but not 3D! I am sooo excited. I am taking Jon and all the kids and I know they will be fascinated and surprised. I wanted one so bad with Hayden and they were fairly new and super expensive, so I figured I would splurge on one. Thanks for the coupon Shawna!
And, last but not least: I am currently obsessed with two items. One is a Hawaiian Punch Lemon Berry Icee. I got one at Target and I can't stop thinking about it. The other is the Sonic cherry lime-aid chiller. So Good. As a matter of fact, I may have to get one now since Sonic is still open...
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sonogram Pics
Today I went in for a 7 month sonogram. Mainly because the old sonogram technician at my doctor's office spent 2 minutes total on my 20 week scan. Which they tried to charge me $350 for! And, to top it all off- she wasn't able to get a good look at his face. So, I complained to my doctor and he wiped the charge off of my bill and scheduled today's longer more in depth sono, with the new and improved technician- for free. The little stinker hid his face for the entire time until she had me lay on my side and boom there he was. I immediately got tears in my eyes, I guess because seeing his little sweet face made it seem more real. As if the tap dancing on my bladder and kicking me in the ribs weren't indicators enough.... I must have asked her a hundred times if he looked ok and she assured me everything was wonderful. Of course I am skeptical and will remain so until he's born. If that ever happens. Seriously his head looks so big I am more afraid than ever! Afraid he won't fit! I need some reassurance here. Does his head (in the profile shot) look abnormally large or am I being a worrywart?
baby face
an arm and a foot
profile
P.S. Jon insists that he has ginormous lips and a nose piercing already.
baby face
an arm and a foot
profile
P.S. Jon insists that he has ginormous lips and a nose piercing already.
Monday, June 1, 2009
99 days!
Well, I am officially in my third trimester! Woo Hoo! Par-tay! Ok, maybe just a small party. I can't believe I am down to 99 days until my due date. In some ways it's gone by so slow, but in others it's like "whoa, you're life is gonna be getting even more chaotic and it's gonna happen before you know it and there ain't a darn thing you can do about it!" Anyway, here are some of the things going on in my life related to "my delicate condition":
I am still terrified of childbirth and I am not sure why... Oh yes I do, the old watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon analogy. Which, to me isn't as painful as back labor. And, I know because A) I felt every inch of Hayden come out and B) my epidural stopped working. Lovely huh? I am going to try my hardest to have this baby completely natural. Simply because I have so much scar tissue that an epidural needle won't go in, AT ALL. Somebody hold me...
My nausea is absolutely horrible. Like the worst it's ever been. I am quite sure it's because baby boy is growing fast and crowding my stomach which causes heartburn which aggravates my ulcer. I have been prescribed nausea and heartburn medicine but I hate drugging up my kid at such a young age. So, I'll suffer through. Judging by the scale, I ain't suffering too much...but, today has been especially brutal. I have had: jelly toast, peanut butter toast, wheat thins, and lots of water. Yuck! I think I'm gonna freaking starve!
He is moving like crazy, which is simply amazing! Just this past week he started moving higher up, past my belly button. Before he was squirming and kicking in my lower tummy. He must have had one heck of a growth spurt! And, the hiccups. Neverending hiccups. It's like he's down there throwing back a few cold ones or something. I am a little sad that I will never experience the feeling of a baby again after he is born. Ok, I say that now and I may be lying. If my husband doesn't hurry up and make an appointment for the males only nip and tuck doctor, I may have another uh-oh. And, we don't want that. Love me some babies, but this baby factory is closing up shop in 99 days!
We have finally started shopping and painting for our total home makeover. If this week goes as planned, I will have my big boys moved into their teenage boy pad next weekend. Then I can start on Hayden, Chloe, and baby boy's room. Hayden is getting this bed and baby boy is getting this bedding. We are doing Chloe's room in monarch butterflies, and this picture is being bought by me tomorrow. And, not to be outdone, I am re-doing their bathroom as well and here's my design inspiration. Whew, can you tell I am starting to get the urge to nest? And, just for the record, it was very sad to paint over my cool home theatre decorations. I even had one wall with our names painted like the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and that one hit me hard. Darn hormones.
Which brings me to the heat... could it be any more hot and sticky? I went to field day and a birthday party the last couple of days and I thought I was gonna die. It's bad enough when you're out in the heat but it seems like the minute you get home you are useless. It just drains me, like I have been run over. And, all I did was sit, watch, and drink cold water. But, it felt like I was the one running relays and smacking a pinata. Both days I drove home with my a/c on full blast, one vent on my face and the other up my sundress. I also stopped for a water and a cherry Coke at Sonic. Then I walked in the door, laid under the fan and fell asleep. Because I can.
In other news, yes I have a name for him and no I won't tell. Yet. I am also going to get a 3D ultrasound soon, which I am super excited about! I can't stop wondering what he looks like. I mean, I think about it all the time. Which I am sure is pretty normal. So... I guess that's it for now. I am so looking forward to my glucose test next week and before you know it, weekly OB visits to see if I'm dilated. Thrilling.
P.S. #1 Don't be alarmed if you see a mysterious black and white creature floating in our pool. That's not Shamu, it's me, in a fabulous black maternity swimsuit no less... I fully plan on living out back as soon as the algae is cleared up. My dogs decided they would chew the wires on our $250 chlorinator thing-a-ma-jiggy. So, as soon as it's fixed- CANNONBALL!
P.S. #2 I just realized I used the "word" ain't twice in this post... oops!
I am still terrified of childbirth and I am not sure why... Oh yes I do, the old watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon analogy. Which, to me isn't as painful as back labor. And, I know because A) I felt every inch of Hayden come out and B) my epidural stopped working. Lovely huh? I am going to try my hardest to have this baby completely natural. Simply because I have so much scar tissue that an epidural needle won't go in, AT ALL. Somebody hold me...
My nausea is absolutely horrible. Like the worst it's ever been. I am quite sure it's because baby boy is growing fast and crowding my stomach which causes heartburn which aggravates my ulcer. I have been prescribed nausea and heartburn medicine but I hate drugging up my kid at such a young age. So, I'll suffer through. Judging by the scale, I ain't suffering too much...but, today has been especially brutal. I have had: jelly toast, peanut butter toast, wheat thins, and lots of water. Yuck! I think I'm gonna freaking starve!
He is moving like crazy, which is simply amazing! Just this past week he started moving higher up, past my belly button. Before he was squirming and kicking in my lower tummy. He must have had one heck of a growth spurt! And, the hiccups. Neverending hiccups. It's like he's down there throwing back a few cold ones or something. I am a little sad that I will never experience the feeling of a baby again after he is born. Ok, I say that now and I may be lying. If my husband doesn't hurry up and make an appointment for the males only nip and tuck doctor, I may have another uh-oh. And, we don't want that. Love me some babies, but this baby factory is closing up shop in 99 days!
We have finally started shopping and painting for our total home makeover. If this week goes as planned, I will have my big boys moved into their teenage boy pad next weekend. Then I can start on Hayden, Chloe, and baby boy's room. Hayden is getting this bed and baby boy is getting this bedding. We are doing Chloe's room in monarch butterflies, and this picture is being bought by me tomorrow. And, not to be outdone, I am re-doing their bathroom as well and here's my design inspiration. Whew, can you tell I am starting to get the urge to nest? And, just for the record, it was very sad to paint over my cool home theatre decorations. I even had one wall with our names painted like the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and that one hit me hard. Darn hormones.
Which brings me to the heat... could it be any more hot and sticky? I went to field day and a birthday party the last couple of days and I thought I was gonna die. It's bad enough when you're out in the heat but it seems like the minute you get home you are useless. It just drains me, like I have been run over. And, all I did was sit, watch, and drink cold water. But, it felt like I was the one running relays and smacking a pinata. Both days I drove home with my a/c on full blast, one vent on my face and the other up my sundress. I also stopped for a water and a cherry Coke at Sonic. Then I walked in the door, laid under the fan and fell asleep. Because I can.
In other news, yes I have a name for him and no I won't tell. Yet. I am also going to get a 3D ultrasound soon, which I am super excited about! I can't stop wondering what he looks like. I mean, I think about it all the time. Which I am sure is pretty normal. So... I guess that's it for now. I am so looking forward to my glucose test next week and before you know it, weekly OB visits to see if I'm dilated. Thrilling.
P.S. #1 Don't be alarmed if you see a mysterious black and white creature floating in our pool. That's not Shamu, it's me, in a fabulous black maternity swimsuit no less... I fully plan on living out back as soon as the algae is cleared up. My dogs decided they would chew the wires on our $250 chlorinator thing-a-ma-jiggy. So, as soon as it's fixed- CANNONBALL!
P.S. #2 I just realized I used the "word" ain't twice in this post... oops!
Monday, May 18, 2009
A post about childbirth
So, I am sure you've heard, I'm having a baby! And, because I'm having a baby I watch lots of shows on TLC like A Baby Story, Birth Day, Bringing Home Baby, etc. I can't help it, I've watched them for years even when I'm not expecting. I guess because I find them interesting and I have always wanted to be a Labor & Delivery or NICU nurse. Anyway... here's what I find odd: there are so many women who are in active labor (legs up to the sky and they are pushing) and they don't seem to care who is watching. We're talking dad, father in law, brother etc. Now, I don't mean to be judgmental to those of you who have done this but I just wonder why? More power to ya, but I am Miss Modesty. I don't care if I am toned, taut, tan, and a size 4- ain't nobody but my husband and sometimes my mom gonna see me in that position. I mean in all honesty my husband has not seen me naked in broad daylight in YEARS, and I am not even kidding. I have had my mom, Kelli, and Amy watch me give birth and even that was uncomfortable. But, I wanted them there. My dad, never! I'd like to think he believes the stork brings my babies, not to mention how they got there...
Anyway, when I had Hayden my mother-in-law showed up right as I was about to start seriously pushing and I was on a 30 minute time table. Meaning I had 30 minutes to get him out or my OB was threatening me with a C-section. (Honestly I think he wanted to go home.) And, I love my mother-in-law to death but I didn't want to push a baby out in front of her but I really really didn't wanted to be gutted to get my baby out so I reluctantly gave it my all and Hayden was born. So, my question to y'all is: how come some people can have a baby with their dad or brother watching? Am I weird?
Anyway, when I had Hayden my mother-in-law showed up right as I was about to start seriously pushing and I was on a 30 minute time table. Meaning I had 30 minutes to get him out or my OB was threatening me with a C-section. (Honestly I think he wanted to go home.) And, I love my mother-in-law to death but I didn't want to push a baby out in front of her but I really really didn't wanted to be gutted to get my baby out so I reluctantly gave it my all and Hayden was born. So, my question to y'all is: how come some people can have a baby with their dad or brother watching? Am I weird?
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