So, I got the new People magazine in the mail today. And, my mail lady defaced it. Gasp! It hurt to write that.... She must not know how much I treasure my magazines. Especially one with a new celebrity baby in it! I am a celeb hound. If I had a better camera, could run faster, and lived in Los Angeles I would quite possibly be a paparazzi! Not really. But, I do really get into celeb gossip, alot. Ask anyone. I know as much about some celebrities as I do my own friends and family. And, I reeeaaallly love magazines. Crisp, shiny, new ones especially. I like to read a new magazine when I eat lunch or take a bath. I don't like anyone looking at them before me. I can't stand when someone sneaks them and peeks at them (Chloe, Jon) and takes the little subscription cards out. That's MY job. And, I absolutely get upset when the mail lady crams the magazines in the box and crumples them up. Yet, she lovingly places the bills on top. Like they are important! What's wrong with you woman? So, I am a little peeved. I can't read a torn magazine in the tub, the cover slips into the water. And I can forget about lunch. My tuna sandwich just doesn't taste as good when my magazine looks ugly. So, if anyone wants this People, it's yours. I am gonna spend $4 and buy a new one. I am totally serious. I may even do a citizen's arrest on Wanda the Mail Lady. Watch your back Wanda, I am watching you... If you see me sitting by my mail box with a lemonade and a rolled up newspaper, run like hell!
P.S. Just to let you know how swift Wanda is. My next door neighbor sent off for a new Social Security card. It was delivered to us. Do I look like a Carla?
** the above statements are true. All of them.*
5 comments:
I can't decide if our mail person is a man or a woman. Seriously...he/she looks a little like both! Kinda boobs, kinda not...kinda manly haircut, kinda butch. It's horrible. What is wrong with the mail carriers of the world?
I took a moment and peeked at the People magazine at WM today...those are some dang cute babies. Though I totally missed Katie Holmes' haircut!! UGH.
Don't you hate that. Not to be rude, but when you're a girl don't you wanna look like one? As for the Katie Holmes pic, it may be in the one from Friday. I know I saw it somewhere.
I think that Shiloh is so gorgeous for a toddler! And I must have gotten the lucky end of the deal b/c our mail lady is so nice! We don't have a package box so when you get a package normally they just leave you a note that says it is at the PO and ours brings it to our door instead! She rocks! Mail carriers are so fickle, either awesome or wackadoo!
Okay, seriously. You make me laugh. Not as in "ha ha" but a deep belly laugh. And for that, I thank you! Keep it up.
Too funny!!
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