12 eyes are better than 6

Chan and his friends took advantage of the pool and a hot Spring afternoon to go for a swim. I came through the house with a basket of laundry and came across this funny pic of their glasses. Come to think of it almost all of his friends have specs. Then, I headed out for a photo of him and his buddies. Nerds...

 

 

 

Girl talk and other tidbits...

Today my baby girl got to see "that video" at school. You know, the one about men-stroo-ayshun. Whoa, I signed the permission slip but forgot about it until she came home all flushed and giggly as she handed me a goody bag full of pads, panty liners, and deodorant. Let's hope we don't need to use any of it for a long while...

Hayden had field day today. Of course I forgot the camera. But, you don't need me to tell you he is freakin' adorable. If you've seen him, you know. If I was 6 I would so have a crush. Not so coordinated at "running jumprope", but adorable in his backwards baseball cap nonetheless. His team won at tug-o-war which pleased him immensely.

I have had the oddest week regarding paternity and stuff. I have learned alot of info about Chan's bio-dad. From- drumroll please: his ex-girlfriend and the other baby mama. In other words, I have been on the phone and MySpace talking to Grayson's mom Tanisha and Michelle his ex. Crazy stuff. The boys will be meeting each other soon. I am also expecting a phone call from his other grandma. I never imagined in a million years that this week would ever happen. But, it did and wow was it ever bizarre...

And, last but not least, I made like the bestest banana puddin' ever over Memorial Day. Delish. I am normally not a banana pudding fan. But, oh my goodness, this stuff is amazing. So, for your munching pleasure, here is the recipe:

**Banana Pudding**

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 (5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix
3 cups cold milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
4 bananas, sliced
1/2 (12 ounce) package vanilla wafers

In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Beat in condensed milk, pudding mix, cold milk and vanilla until smooth. Fold in 1/2 of the whipped topping.
Line the bottom of a 9x13 inch dish with vanilla wafers. Arrange sliced bananas evenly over wafers. Spread with pudding mixture. Top with remaining whipped topping. Chill.

Con-GRAD-ulations Hayden!

Today was kindergarten graduation for Mr. Hayden. They did a little ceremony where they sang 2 songs, got their diplomas, a special award, and finally CUPCAKES!! Hayden is such a cute, sweet, smart little boy, of course I am super proud and biased. He got 2 special awards: most improved phonics and best penmanship. Only one other kid got 2 awards, everyone else got 1. Go Hayden!! I am so glad this year is almost over, I am looking forward to a fun summer. Here are a few pictures:

Appetite Suppressant

So, here is what Chan's ankle looks like after his screws were removed. He saw a student doctor yesterday and I am not sure she knew what she was doing. Chan's ankle has been wrapped in gauze and an Ace bandage for 2 weeks. It looks pretty bad to me. The doctor drained that ginormous blister and re-bandaged it and said he could go without the walking boot. Funny, the surgeon said 4 weeks in the boot... So, I am not sure how to treat this "wound" or the student doctor's words of advice. Looks pretty rank to me.

 

What a day!

Wow, thank goodness that's over! Today was my court date to have paternity results read and establish child support payments. First we had to wait FOREVER! They finally called me back at 11:00. We had been there over 2 hours at that point. When I get into the little office with the biological father the lawyer hands each of us a few sheets of paper with the paternity results on them. In case you are wondering the results are 99.9% that he is the father or 319,042,570 to 1 that he's not. So, with that little bit of business out of the way, the fun begins...First we go over his income or lack of. Apparently he has been working odd jobs, telemarketing, or at restaurants for the last 16 years. He pretty much doesn't have a pot to pee in. But, I do not feel bad. Jon has raised Chan since he was 3 and my parents helped before that, while he was getting a free ride according to the judge. In Texas they will only go back 4 years unless the judge sees a need to go back even longer than that. So, after that we go in before the judge. It was just like a mini trial, where we we were sworn in, questioned, etc. But, since he was representing himself and was trying to appear "lawyerish" it took over 2 hours. The people waiting for us to finish were annoyed that it took so long. Basically the judgement was in my favor. He has to pay me $296 per month til Chan is 18. In addition to that he has to pay 1/2 of Chan's hospital bill ($6000) and back child support of $14,208. So, it remains to be seen if I will get any money. But, just to see him squirm and be proven wrong made all of this stress and drama worth it. However, a new can of worms may have been opened: all new relatives who may want to meet him and a 13 year old half brother named Grayson. So, that's the latest. Today was great though, as I had a 17 year weight lifted off of my chest.

Hey, you look familiar...

**WARNING**
This post contains subject matter that may be offensive to some readers. Or in other words: TMI. You have been warned. Personally I think it's funny, thus the post in the first place.
So, today I am out and about running errands. Which translates into: paying 1 bill, picking up my contacts, and shopping at 7 stores. Anyway, I head to the vision place first since my contacts are digging into my eyeball so bad that I feel as if someone is in there raking leaves or something. I get inside only to find a huge line, which is no surprise, since there aren't that many vision places in Burleson/Crowley. So, I calmly take my place in line and start checking out the other customers. I'm nosey like that. Well, guess whose in the waiting area doing his new patient paper work? My freaking OB/GYN! Now, if it was the kid's pediatrician or my dentist I wouldn't really care. But this is my OB! And, I see him EVERYWHERE! I have seen him at Target, Famous Footwear, and several restaurants. I guess I should be used to bumping into him, but I'm not. It's been 8 months since our last "visit". For goodness sakes, this man has seen my V#*^%A! He has given me a breast exam! Yes, I know I am probably being weird. But, I can't help it. I have often wondered how it feels for doctors. Are they being perverted or just friendly if they say hello to you in public? Does it make their spouse or significant other uncomfortable? Do they get a visual? Are they as uncomfortable as I am? The first few times I saw him and his family I was friendly and talkative. He and his wife are sooo nice. But, today I felt funny saying something. I guess because he was a good 15 feet away from me, and he was the patient. It just didn't seem like the time or place. I mean the last time I saw him I was wearing a giant paper napkin with my legs in stirrups. We were talking about swimming pools. Maybe he didn't recognize me?

Aww, heroes still exist...

What a sweet kind woman. Watch this.

Minivan Momma

Ok as promised here are pics of the new van. I swore after going from a minivan to an SUV back in 2001 that I would never drive another van. But, that was before gas went through the roof! The price goes up by the hour it seems. Hunter asked me tonight what I thought gas would cost when he starts driving in 4 years. I am not sure I want to know. I hope he keeps his bike in good shape! Anywho... it's an '08 Honda Odyssey. We really like it! I will probably be driving it for the next 20 years. I like the fact that it costs less to fill up, that it gets twice the gas mileage, the reverse camera, all the cool little cubbies, and the sunroof. It really has tons of cool features. Too many to list. I honestly now have a different opinion about minivans...this one has proven me wrong. I have been afraid of the minivan stigma from back when I had the other one. Partly because I had a friend who would tease me and refused to let me drive if we went anywhere together. But, back then it was a necessity because we had three kids in car seats or boosters, not even counting their strollers, bags, etc. We had to have a bigger vehicle. I was thankful to get a van. Then I got too big for my britches and had to have an SUV. Well, that was then and this is now, with food prices, gas prices, and this crazy world we live in I am glad that I made the switch.







P.S. If you look closely you can see Jon's new gas sipper reflected on the van: an '84 Fiero. He's so cool, right now he is currently growing a mullet so he looks good in his new car...

Boys will be boys...?

In our neighborhood there aren't many little boys Hayden's age. Tons of girls, but no boys. Well, now he has a buddy, Saul. His older brother Carlos is one of Hunter's buddies. Saul is a cute, sweet, little boy. However, he needs a course in manners or something. Not only does he walk in our house whenever he feels like it, he also taught Hayden how to get from one side of the street to the other, by crawling through the drain pipe, UNDER THE STREET!! And, Hayden now thinks it's ok to pee outside. It was also pretty darn annoying the day I was in the tub and he walked into my room, thankfully Chloe was brushing her teeth and she was able to shut the door real quick. Well, imagine my surprise today when I was sitting on my bed in various states of undress applying make-up for church and in comes Saul. I real calm told him he needed to go outside to wait for Hayden. He looks at me like nothing is amiss, holds up a Go-gurt he got from MY frig and says "do you have something I can cut this open with?" Say what?

New girl in town

We must not be busy enough. 'Cause today we added another mouth to feed. Meet Daisy:





She has been running around hanging out with Coco, having a blast. They are gorgeous dogs, if I do say so myself. So far she has adjusted well, hopefully this lasts. We are in love and we are nuts!!

Priorities a little out of whack...

I thought I had things a little backwards tonight, 'cause I made homemade ranch dressing, and instant mashed potatoes from a box. Until I saw this and this... All I can say is WOW!

Man Flu and other maladies

To say our house resembles an infirmary would be an understatement. I am the only person in the entire house who isn't ill or under the weather. Yesterday no one went to school, Jon skipped work sick, and Chandler had surgery. Hunter has a scratch on his eye so bad he can barely open it, Jon has Man Flu complete with a fever of 103, and Hayden and Chloe have a horrible cough, also accompanied by fever. So, yesterday started out lovely...I had gone to bed at 2:00 in the morning on Sunday (I watched all of my recorded shows, while pouting about my dreadful Mother's day and anniversary) and was awakened by Jon at 5:30 telling me he was too ill to take Chan to the hospital. So, I got ready and off we went. Jon and the kids slept in, waiting for me to call with the hopes of a doctor appointment. Luckily I was able to get them one, and Jon would have to do breakfast, clothes, driving to the doctor, etc. all the while suffering from Man Flu. Basically all the stuff I do regardless of my physical or mental state. So, while they awaited a wake up call from me, Chan and I just waited. We were told to be at the hospital at 7 for what would be a "30 minute procedure" to have his screws removed. That simple procedure turned into waiting our turn, lab work, meetings with 3 nurses, the surgeon, and an anesthesiologist. That was before surgery!!! He finally went under at 10 in the morning. I sat in the waiting room, answered THEIR phone, and ate Cheez-its, Sprite, and the Hershey bar I got at church for Mother's day. Yummy! They finally called me at 12 to tell me I could see him and that surgery went fine. But, he had to come out of the anesthesia and pee before we could leave. After being unable to produce any urine they let us leave at 2:15 with the promise that we would come back for a catheter if he hadn't gone by 7. We finally got home at 3, and I got busy. I got rx's filled, grocery shopped, cooked TV dinners, and dosed up my family. Chan is on Vicodin, Jon is on Ny-quil and Vicodin, Chloe and Hayden are on antibiotics and cough syrup, and Hunter needs eye drops. Of course being a man, Jon is suffering the worst of all. I don't know if it's in their biological make up or what, but men are wimps!! In his defense he does seem pretty ill if not a little melodramatic. And, I am proud to say that Chan finally went potty and the little kids are back at school! So, today I can finally do laundry, dishes, errands, etc- yay! Hopefully everyone is better soon and things can go back to normal. I am also putting in a formal request for an anniversary and Mother's day do-over since mine was pretty blah. We had Whataburger for dinner and I went to church alone while everyone laid around in misery. If all these yucky illnesses could go away that would be an awesome gift.

P.S. Chloe ended up having a sinus infection, Hayden has an ear infection, Hunter has an abrasion on his eye, and Jon has Man Flu, which is apparently so bad you never want to catch it. Here's a funny clip as proof.

Happy Mother's Day!

No matter what your mothering style is, you are wonderful and you are doing great! Being a mom is a hard but fulfilling "job" and no one can love and care for your children the way you do. Remember: one mom's strength is another mom's weakness. There is no perfect way, just your way. I hope y'all all have a relaxing and wonderful day, you deserve it! Do what makes you happy and content. But, remember your manners, eat your vegetables, finish your dessert, and wear clean underwear!! Have a GROOVY Mother's Day!!

1 Dozen Years...

of marriage! Happy 12th Anniversary to me and Jon!! It seems like a lifetime ago that we were married. We have had so many ups and downs and so many amazing memories, I couldn't imagine sharing it with anyone else. Although he drives me bonkers pretty darn often, he also makes me smile. We are so lucky to have each other and to have wonderful children. I am so thankful for him and his fun personality, I love the way his eyes crinkle up at the corners when he smiles, how peaceful he looks when he's sleeping, the way he plays with our kids, the cute little gray hairs popping up in his beard, and so much more. He really is a pretty cool guy. I love you, Jon.
Forever, Ash

Jon, right before our wedding


Me, right before our wedding


Sealing the deal


Before we cut the cake


Our rings


Me and all the kiddos


Me and Jon May 2008

Dumpster Diving Tooth Fairy

Hayden lost another tooth today! And, here's the kicker: he lost it three times... how you ask? Well, obviously the first time was when he pulled it out. Then he left it in the car, and we had to dig in the pockets on the back of the seats. But, the last and most "adventurous" was when he left it at On the Border. And, getting it back was no picnic. We had just left the restaurant and were already going about 65 mph down I-35 when he realized it was gone. So, I got on my phone and called information and instantly got on the phone with the "lovely" manager at Burleson OTB. I told him that we had been gone about 5 minutes and that my 6 year old son had left his tooth on the table and that it was in a ziploc bag labeled with his name. He proceeded to put me on hold forever... and by the time he got back on the phone I was already at the intersection near the restaurant. When he came back, he had the nerve to tell me that his busboy had already left and the tooth was nowhere to be found. He obviously isn't a parent and doesn't realize the urgency of the situation. I mean, Hayden pulled it himself, put it in the baggy, and labeled it with his name in permanent marker. At this point I am pretty annoyed. I told the guy that I would be in the restaurant within 3 minutes and I would be digging in their garbage. He pretty much let me know that that wouldn't be happening. That is when I got really ticked. I hung up and by then we were in the parking lot. So, I hopped out and grabbed Hayden by the hand, all the while hoping if the manager saw him and realized it was pretty important he would start digging in the trash himself. When I get inside the teeny bopper hostesses don't have a clue what I am talking about, but at least they seem sympathetic. Almost immediately after telling them our dilemma the manager comes around the corner looking flushed and a little sheepish. He comes up to us and asks Hayden what his name is. Hayden answers him and then the dude totally redeems himself by pulling the crumpled baggy out of his pocket and saying "I just want to make sure the name on here matches what your name is." Thank goodness, cause I was fixing to get mad. I was wearing white pants and a white top and was fully prepared to go dumpster diving for that itty bitty tooth. The weird thing is, the manager told me his busboy found it! The same busboy who already left? Anyway, all is well, the baggy has been rinsed and is now under Hayden's pillow awaiting the tooth fairy. And for once I am wearing the right color. Now, where did I put my wings?



Hayden showing off his "gap". He is running a low grade fever and did not want his picture taken. Which explains the look on his face.

Attracting the wrong kind of attention...

I have been a good girl lately in regards to spending money. For example I have been doing my own pedicures. The last two weeks my toes were red. Around Sunday the piggies were starting to chip- badly. So, on Monday during Dancing with the Stars I removed the old polish. I am pretty boring when it comes to polish. I usually stick to red, burgundy, or black. I have had them painted like cherries, watermelon, and in October, Halloween colors. That is the extent of my pedicure creativity. I am currently planning on black toes with little rhinestones. But, since I don't have a cute little Korean lady to do them for me, I have been putting it off. When I was looking for polish Monday, nothing cute and easy came to mind. Then, I had the brilliant idea to do them rainbow. It turned out cute enough, but after about thirty minutes, seemed a little young for a woman of my mature age. I don't know why, maybe a sixth sense or something, but walking through the hospital today I had an odd feeling about my toes. It struck me while we were waiting on the elevators that my toes looked a little gay pride. Now, please no one take offense at the above or below comments, but I am horrified at the thought of sending out a "gay vibe"...sorry but it's true. So, imagine me at the hospital with no makeup, a baseball cap, and rainbow toes. Then, imagine me bumping into a very masculine woman in a suit waiting on the elevators. Wow, awkward. Of course the elevators took forever. Of course I got impatient. Of course I asked her where the stairs were because she had on a hospital badge. Of course she led the way to the stairs and proceeded to take me and Chan on a mini tour that took 15 minutes. Of course she was giggly and flirty. Of course she noticed my toes. Of course I was mortified. Of course this polish is coming off immediately.


P.S. Yes I have a bunion, yes I have wide feet, yes I have tattoo, yes my "pinky" toenail is tiny, and yes I suck at pedicures!

Braums: watching out for my health...

Periodically (depending on my cravings) I will take the kids for ice cream after school. Lately my choice of ice cream has been a double scoop cone, with German chocolate and buttered pecan. Yum-o. We went last Monday and yesterday Jon surprised me and brought home my current fave. This morning I was cleaning out my purse and throwing out a few old receipts. I came across last week's receipt and yesterday's (Jon?). And, I noticed something odd. Last week when I ordered they charged me for carb watcher German chocolate and carb watcher buttered pecan. Hmmm, interesting. Because, yesterday the receipt said German chocolate and buttered pecan, carb watcher was no where on there. So, I am wondering, was it a slip of the hand on the register? Did the lady think I needed carb watcher? Or maybe that I meant to order it and made a mistake? Perhaps she was helping me save money? I never noticed a taste difference. But, I am wondering if they did give me carb watcher, why?? I know I probably need it over the other option. But, that is my decision to make...

Lucky!

Today I had to take Chandler to the hospital for more pre-op tests. He is having the screws removed from his ankle on Monday. Anywhooo.... I am moseying along I-35 at a swift 70mph when I see my exit and I am nowhere near where I need to be. So, real quick I exit from the center lane. I feel only a smidge guilty about the folks I cut off. Ok, not really! That's why I have a 4x4 Suburban, move!! I briefly recall passing a U.S. Marshall way back, but don't give it another thought until I see him behind me at the light. Crap! Of course the moment I turn left he flashes his lights at me. At first I was hoping it was because I was cute... but then I am pissed, because I am thinking he saw my registration that expired 8 days ago. Thanks, Jon. Of course he scolds me for my crazy exit and "having no regard" for the other people I cut off. He never even looks at or mentions my registration. Whew! And, as soon as I apologize and tell him I am running late for my son's pre-op surgical appointment, he tells me to slow down and be careful. And then he lets me go. No ticket!! Yay! And, for the record, we have been tossing around the idea of trading in the Burb for a Minivan, don't gag... I know. But, being the professional procrastinators that we are, we waited until after the registration expired. And, because we feel like spending an extra $70, I mean really what's an extra $70 bucks when gas is only $3.54 a gallon?

Freakin' Disgusting!

Presenting: Bacon Maple Bar... doesn't even sound good. Would anyone really eat this?

Anatomy 104

I love Mr. Hayden to pieces, but I am not sure I would go to him for medical care. Case in point:
The other day at the Dr. when they did his throat swab for strep he asked me, "Mommy, can that q-tip reach my tibia?" and, today:
"Look at my uvula Mommy!" He was helping me carry in groceries and was carrying a bag of red apples while riding his scooter. I guess the way they "dangled" reminded him of his uvula....

Yo, bonehead!

Dude, what is up with some people? Why do they think it's ok to call me by something other than my name? I am referring to one word in particular: red. Now, the last time I checked my name was not Red. It's Ashley. I mean for real, can you not call me something besides that? How about sweetie, or honey, or even babe? Do I do that to them? No, I don't, because it's rude. If I don't know someone's name, I politely ask someone else or go with the flow and hope it doesn't come up. I cannot not tell you how many times I have been called Red, and it sucks. I mean have you ever heard someone say, "hey dishwater blonde" or "hi brunette" or even "what's up premature gray"? I am guessing, no. It just doesn't happen. I must have the word red spelled on my forehead in freckles or something. Only I can't see it. So, for future reference please call me Ashley.

Last one to steal is a rotten egg...

so I guess I'm a rotten egg! This cute little list has been going around for a few weeks and I am finally getting around to doing it myself.


Maybe I should stop complaining about my weight and do something about it!
I love food way more than is necessary.
People would say that I'm crafty.
I don’t understand why I wasn't meant to be rich and thin.
When I wake up in the morning I count the hours until I can go back to sleep.
I lost my mom's sterling silver charm bracelet at the skating rink when I was in 5th grade, and I still feel awful about it.
Life is not as hard as I make it out to be.
My past is full of bad choices that turned me into who I am and blessed me beyond belief.
I get annoyed when people stop by unannounced.
Parties are fun if there is good food and friends, and I don't have to host!
I wish I had a smaller body and a bigger bank account.
Dogs are cool when they are trained.
Cats are big hairballs whose poop smells bad, but I still think they're cool.
Tomorrow I'm taking the kids to Home Depot for the kid's clinic and a spaghetti dinner at church.
I have low tolerance for annoying people.
I’m totally terrified of something bad happening to me, Jon, or the kids.
I wonder why I have zero patience.
Never in my life have I had a c-section.
High school was one giant party.
When I’m nervous I pick my cuticles, twirl my hair, and sometimes I toot...ssshhhh don't tell Jon!
One time at a family gathering I was taking a shower in my mom's room. I leaned against the wall to shave my legs and my butt busted through the tile and sheet rock. Needless to say it was embarrassing, since I had to yell into the living room for help where all the company was hanging out.
Take my advice: I am not good at giving advice.
Making my bed is nice when I do it, which would be when I wash the sheets or we are having company. Or I need a photo for my blog!
I'm almost always wanting a Coke and chocolate.
I’m addicted to alot of stuff: Coke, food, shopping, magazines.
I want someone to babysit so Jon and I can go on a date.

Feel free to steal this, I did!!!