Tuesday, March 31, 2009

More things I've learned today...

After 17 years of being a mom, it finally hit me like a ton of bricks: my children really can't clean their rooms very well, they can lose things like shoes rather easily, they will watch you looking for their shoes as if they were at the movies, and they don't listen EVER! Oh, and my "favorite", they truly can't do much without me. Neither can the man I married...

I have been married to Jon for 13 years and he can't find things AT ALL either, he doesn't listen worth squat, and the most annoying: the manner in which he puts things in the refrigerator. Case in point, last night we had burgers and hot dogs for dinner. He oh so sweetly helped me put things away and this morning when I opened the fridge it looked like an explosion had gone off. Condiments wherever they would fit (instead of the door where I thought most people kept condiments), the cheese slices sitting on a plate of leftovers, a baggie of lettuce sitting on a pitcher of juice... I mean, aren't those nifty little drawers there for a reason? Really this made getting lunches packed a nightmare! I should have insisted that the kids only had one option for lunches, the lunch line. Who was I to ever allow them to bring a homemade lunch?

Whew! Put it this way- this morning was emotionally and physically exhausting! I was pulled in more directions than I even knew possible. I even got everyone up early and Chloe still missed her bus, for the 2nd time this week and it's only Tuesday!! If my family would only listen to me they would realize how much smoother things would be if we all worked together. To say I am ready for this school year to be over would be putting it mildly. I am tired of packing lunches, school uniforms, getting up early, getting yelled at by pubescent little turds, etc etc. I am sooo ready to sleep in every day. I long for the lazy days of Summer: ice cream, swimming, sundresses, naps, cookouts, and watermelon just to name a few. Breath Ashley. There are only 49 days of school left.

Monday, March 30, 2009


Can someone please stop the wind today?

According to the Chinese Gender Predictor I am having another BOY!

and lastly:

Can I borrow $300k? I found a house I really like... Go here.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Lazy Sunday

I am getting quite skilled at being a lady of leisure. Today was no exception. I mean I did stuff, but it was just the bare minimum. First things first, I pushed snooze on my alarm more times than I care to remember, but did manage to make it to the last hour (Relief Society) of church. I am soo glad I made it for that one hour. GREAT lesson that I definitely needed. I also felt strongly that I needed to try harder to make it to church on Sundays. I know for a fact that although sleeping in feels great, church would make me feel even better.
After church I had some lunch and a nap. Even better- my entire family was gone so I got to nap in peace!
Shortly after I woke up Jon and the kids came home from the BMX track and told me all about Chloe's crash. She just recently started racing and today during a practice lap she tumbled over her handlebars and bit her tongue pretty bad. Her tongue is swollen and purple on the tip and she has two big teethmarks/holes on it. She also has several scrapes and bruises here and there. Honestly I know I sound like a baby, but I am not so jazzed about the idea of my only daughter getting hurt like that...
Next on the agenda- we were treated to a free concert by our neighbors! Isn't that sweet? Someone on the next block had a Mexican/Hispanic/Mariachi band playing some seriously loud music, for 6 solid hours! It was so loud we could hear it inside and when we went outside we could hear the singer or DJ and what he was saying word for word! All it really did for me was give me a serious craving for Mexican food. So, we had nachos for dinner.
And, last but not least I ventured to Wal-Mart for some Orajel for Chloe. Not much happened there, same rude, odd people as always. But, I did find something I have been looking for: Cocoa Creme Tums. Just opening the bottle made me smile, they smell yummy! Like walking into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. It's been a long time since I was that excited. Now, I can cure my heartburn and my craving for chocolate at the same time. Wow, I live an exciting life!!
Now, it's off to bed and it all starts all over again tomorrow. I have a feeling Monday is gonna be interesting. Chloe is already pulling the stay home card and Hayden has a pretty big project due Thursday. Wish me luck....

Saturday, March 28, 2009


Please tell me when it is ever ok to walk into someone's house without knocking? I have had two of the neighbor kids walk in like they lived here THREE times today. Twice the front door was locked so they went around to my side door. The third time it happened I about lost it and then I got smart and locked every door. I can still ocassionally hear the rattle of various door knobs. OH MY GOSH, go home! We are doing chores and it's too cold to go out anyway... I feel like we are being stalked! People- watch your OWN children please. Thanks!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

16 week "check-up"

Once again I am not doing so hot at blogging... big shocker I know! I do have two posts to do but they require scanning and uploading pictures, eventually I will get to them. So, in the meantime I will update y'all on the pregnancy.

I will be 16 weeks Saturday and it's finally starting to sink in that another baby is going to be joining our family. It is still pretty surreal as it's been the 6 of us for so long. I am positive that in no time it'll be as if he/she was always here. It's still so far away but does seem as if the weeks are going by quick, which I think happens as you get older. But, in this case- not quick enough. The peeing is getting old and I know it's only going to get worse....

Speaking of he/she, I am so curious about what we are having. Yes, I am gonna find out and I can hardly wait. I am quite sure it's another boy, which is fine with me. Chloe however has said she is moving out if it's another boy. So, get your couches ready... For sure the clothes will be cheaper! I find out on April 14th, which is 21 days away. Provided the little munchkin is cooperating, I plan on going straight to the mall to buy anything baby! I also plan on making cupcakes in either pink or blue to surprise the kids.

I have finally gotten some of the 2nd trimester energy that I have been hearing so much about. I actually cooked dinner three times this week and everyone has clean clothes, woo hoo! I have been cleaning, organizing, and doing all the things I have been neglecting the last three months. My family is ever so thankful. We did have a casualty though- Chloe's fish. Which apparently I am supposed to feed, who knew? Anyway, he died.

We have sorta discussed names, but will probably narrow it down more once we find out what we are having. We will more than likely follow the pattern we currently have going on with the other kids which means this baby will have a C first initial and an M middle initial. Right now we have: Chandler Mackensie, Hunter Kristian, Chloe Madison, and Hayden Kristofer. However, we may be completely nutty and do something totally different. Only time will tell...

Jon and I have been looking at nursery furniture and car seats online. Ok, mostly I look and show him stuff and he says- "mmm hmm" like he's interested. But, we are assuming the baby will be with us in our room for quite sometime, which means I am gonna totally redecorate. For sure in a bassinet for a few months and then who knows. Depends on if we move or not. We may end up having a baby in our room until it starts college.

Which brings me to my biggest worry right now: if we should try and move or stay here. Obviously a baby only cares about being fed, dry, and warm. But, we are already so cramped in this house that I can't even imagine adding in a baby and all the gear that comes with. Not to mention that Hunter and Hayden could use their own space. It's hard to have a 13 year old and a 7 year old together. Which if you are counting means we need a 6 bedroom house or a 5 bedroom with a study we can use as a bedroom. Then there's the economy. And, getting Jon to agree to sell. He thinks we live in paradise because we have a pool, 1.5 acres, and his 1200 square foot shop. But, I would rather have less yard and more house.

So, there you have it- my 16 week "check-up". I will update again in a few weeks.

P.S. I have felt the very beginnings of movement. And, for anyone who thinks it's gas, you're wrong. Being that it's my 5th and I am a gassy person I know the difference. It really is such a cool feeling that I could never get tired of.

Monday, March 23, 2009

No gas allowed!

I found this funny story on Yahoo news. Thank goodness they don't have this rule in our school district... that I know of.

LAKELAND, Fla. – An eighth-grader was suspended from riding the school bus for three days after being accused of passing gas. The bus driver wrote on a misbehavior form that a 15-year-old teen was passing gas on the bus Monday to make the other children laugh, creating a stench so bad that it was difficult to breathe. The bus driver handed the teen the suspension form the next day.

Polk County school officials said there's no rule against flatulence, but there are rules against causing a disturbance on the bus.

The teen said he wasn't the one passing gas.

Whether he did it or not, he might have gotten off easy. A 13-year-old student at a Stuart school was arrested in November after authorities said he broke wind in class.

P.S. I am just curious- can you really control the level of stench voluntarily? And if so, can someone teach me how?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

It pays to clean!

I FINALLY got around to cleaning my desk off today. It was a mess! I have let several weeks worth of mail pile up and this evening I decided enough was enough. I am sure glad I did it, because I found THREE CHECKS! I somehow overlooked the 3 envelopes that contained the $$, whereas normally I can smell a check a mile away. Plus, not to be outdone the other day I found $22 in cash in the dryer! I love that me and Jon both rarely check our pockets. The money couldn't come at a better time, because Monday my mom and I are going on a shopping adventure for maternity clothes. And, we might do lunch... mom- I am craving Chinese.

P.S. the checks were for: $88.00 (child support), $125.34 (escrow surplus), and $8.00 (bank refund). Add in the cash for a grand total of $243.34! Yay me!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

That not so fresh feeling...

Nothing grosses me out quite like someone with dirty teeth. And, tonight I saw the worst set of teeth I think I have ever seen on a human being... I really had to stop myself from inviting this woman home with me so I could loan her some Crest and a toothbrush. She had so much plaque that at first I thought she had braces or an extra row of teeth. But is was ALL plaque. And, it looked like rocks you would put in a fish bowl. GROSS! I always wonder how a person's teeth can get that way. I realize that not everyone can afford the dentist. I mean we couldn't growing up unless we had a cavity or something. But, my parents had nine children and food and clothes came first. I never saw the dentist until I was 18 and never got a cavity until I was 30, which devastated me beyond belief, but that's a story for another day. Seriously though a toothbrush and toothpaste can be had for cheap- hello Dollar General! I am not trying to be mean, but I was so disturbed by this woman's teeth that I'm not sure I can go back to that particular store again. The first thing I did when I got home was brush and floss my teeth.

P.S. I dare you to Google bad teeth. So-freaking-nasty.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Sweet Tooth

Since I found out I was pregnant it's been like constant PMS. Which for me means I crave sweets. Some people crave them all the time but I got this hot bod by eating like a man. Steaks, chips, cheese in any form, wings, tacos, burgers, etc. I am really not a sweets person unless it's "that time" of the month or I happen to be somewhere sweets are offered, like a party. But since the moment those seven tests showed up positive, I can't get enough sugar. Cookies, brownies, cakes, ice cream, candy bars, and on and on... It's insane and rather embarrassing. I normally don't keep sweets in the house simply because they don't last as long as it takes to unload the rest of the groceries from the car. The only sweets we have at our house now are one box of sugar cookie mix and granola bars. So not gonna cut it. Which is why I begged Jon to run to 7-11 at midnight for a Snickers bar. We also needed milk, the candy bar was simply an afterthought... He came back from the store and I pretended like I didn't hear him come in, I didn't want to seem too eager. He plops the milk on the couch and says: "crap, I got the milk but forgot your candy bar." Huh? I try (rather convincingly) to act like it doesn't matter. I assure him that it's no big deal, I didn't even need it... And then, right at that moment I remember we have one row left in a box of Oreos! Yeehaw! So, I wait until he's in bed (gotta keep the act of I don't need sweets up) and go searching for the Oreos. Nada! I am getting mad, much like I would picture a freaking junkie. And, then I go shake him awake and ask where the Oreos are. And this is what he said, "oh, I ate them, there was only a few left." And I am all like "whatever, there was a whole row left which is at least 10." I think I may have cried, but only a little. And, then I ate a granola bar. I have to tell you I strongly considered going back to the store. But, I am not wearing a bra and nobody wants to see that, not even the vagrants that hang around the 7-11...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I do solemnly swear-

to blog SOMETHING/ANYTHING before I go to bed tonight. Putting on my thinking cap now.... In the meantime, Happy Spring Break! Oh, and Happy Saint Patrick's Day. I am using today's holiday as an excuse to dress up in a cute green skirt and go out to dinner with the family. Anyway, hope to be "seeing" you soon....

Friday, March 13, 2009

Dear Mother Nature,

I was wondering if you could please stop the rain? It has been far too dreary for two many days and is frankly a little bit depressing. I am ok with rain after 9 pm and before 7 am, but when it's time to get the day going, it's kind of a nuisance. My pool is about to over flow and my dogs DO NOT like to do their "business" when it's raining on their heads. I have cute sundresses and sandals and can't wear them when it's 39 degrees. I am not sure if you realize it, but Spring Break officially starts when school lets out today and I am thinking this rain is not so good for all the activities I have planned. I am grateful for the rain we did get, but I think we are good now. So, could you please raise the temperature about 45 degrees and send out Mr. Sun? Thanks in advance.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Cooking with Ashley

Ok, so this post is purely to toot my own horn. I made like the best dinner. It wasn't really out of the ordinary, just good home cooking. Plus, I haven't been cooking all that often, it comes in spurts. I made a pan of barbecue chicken, a pan of oven fry chicken tenders, garlic mashed potatoes, and fresh broccoli with cheese sauce. And, the sad thing is- we ate it ALL. I think there is one chicken breast left! I also think I dirtied a good chunk of every dish we own not to mention so many pots and pans. And, thanks to Miss Erica, I have been craving apple pie or actually any apple dessert for the last few months but have only given in three times, and twice was tonight.... I made apple dumplings (with Mountain Dew as the odd ingredient) and OH MY GOSH were they ever good. I believe Erica found the recipe on The Pioneer Woman Cooks and after browsing through all the recipes on there I am thinking I may be cooking more often. So many yummy sounding recipes with awesome pictures (taken during each step of the cooking/baking process) to boot. If you are in need of cooking inspiration or just some yummy comfort food, you should check her site out. And, if you must know, yes I had to un-button my offensive non-maternity jeans so I could finish chowing down. But, it was totally worth it.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Denim Blues

Well, I can no longer comfortably fit into my jeans. Which is a bummer beyond belief. I wear jeans almost every day. They fit ok after I struggle to get them on and if they are on my second wearing, but that struggle to get them on is not pretty... Yesterday I was in a mad dash to get Hayden after school and I was already drenched in sweat from the hair dryer, then I grabbed my freshly washed jeans. And I proceeded to put them on. They fit wonderful until it's time to zip them and then it turns into an aerobic workout. I would just leave them open or do the rubberband trick but I was wearing a more fitted top. I mistakenly bought three pairs of my regular jeans about a month ago thinking with my recent weight loss that I could wear them til at least the 5th month. Umm no. So, now I'm on a quest to find someone who can alter my jeans and put stretchy panels in them or locate maternity jeans. Which I'm not sure exist. Apparently if you are petite, plus size, and preg-o you're not allowed to dress nice. Wish me luck... I'm gonna need it.

Monday, March 9, 2009


Why do I pick my zits?

Why do my kids ALWAYS forget to flush?

Why does my daughter insist on using my bathtub, hair dryer, and razor?

Why can't my kids turn off the TV or the lights when they leave a room?

Why can't anyone in this house (besides me) pick up their dirty clothes?

Why do we have to have a power outage 10 minutes before I am gonna settle down to watch TV?

Why do I stay up so late every night knowing I am gonna oversleep?

Why do I check my email as often as I do?

Why does Oscar Mayer think that ham and cheese crackers and a candy bar is a good lunch option for kids?

Why are my animals nuts?

Why must it be cold one day and hot the next?

Why can't I have a growth spurt up instead of out?

Why does food that's bad for you taste so good?

Why do I always procrastinate?

Why am I doing another list......?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Pimple Face

I have been told before that I have nice skin. Of course, I don't see it, I just see the flaws. I will admit that I am lucky in the zit department. I just don't get them very often, but when I do- look out! Well, since I currently have an over abundance of hormones coursing through my body I have been blessed with not one but TWO "undergrounders". You know, the kind of zit that you can't see but you can feel? I am not kidding you I feel like I have been in a bar fight my face hurts so bad. Plus, they seem ten times bigger than they are. And, they're on my chin. Can you say Jay Leno? They have been there for a few days and today I decided I would take off some of the pressure, or in other words- pop them suckers! Big mistake... I briefly recall writhing in pain as I sat on the side of the tub, begging for an epidural. The whole thing is a blur really, it hurt that bad. Now, I am left with two oozy crusty scabs, which look even worse with concealer on. See?

I promise they are worse than this picture shows. Chloe thinks it looks like a spider bite.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Ok, so I told you how I found out I was pregnant and now I thought I'd fill you in on the pregnancy so far.

First of all, I am considered borderline high risk because of my weight and my age. Who knew you were considered a dinosaur if you were 35 years old and pregnant? Technical term- Advanced Maternal Age. Lucky me.

I seriously had forgotten how tired you get. And, I am not sure if the fact that I am older than I was in previous pregnancies has anything to do with it. I have delivered babies at 18, 22, 23, and 27. This time around I am more tired than ever, much like a dinosaur... I basically sleep 11 til 6:30ish each night and nap from 9 til 11 each morning. I barely make it through Oprah each afternoon, no energy. The only reason I am up now is because I slept through American Idol, it was that boring.

I am having a hard time keeping up with my housewife/mommy duties. Like if I clean house we eat out and if I cook dinner, the house is a disaster. Let's not even mention laundry. Let's just say I am doing my best and my best is seriously lacking. I spend a good portion of each day in comfy clothes and glasses and I go many days without make-up or fixing my hair. I am trying...

I have gained almost 6 pounds, yikes! That's in the first trimester. I have walked a grand total of 3 times and so far have taken the plastic off of my prenatal workout DVD's, I promise I'll try and start tomorrow... I am pleased to say my right arm is looking very toned, since that is the arm I use to shovel the food in.

Which brings me to cravings. In no particular order I have been craving: REGULAR Dr. Pepper, ice water, pink lemonade, apple pie a la mode, Red Lobster, strawberries, Granny Smith apples, cheese enchiladas, broccoli with cheese sauce, and pretzels with cheese. Cheese seems to be my weakness lately.

Since I am eating so much cheese some parts of the body aren't functioning as well as they should so I tried grape juice. BIG mistake. I couldn't leave the house for one whole day. Not pleasant. And while I am on the subject of unpleasantness I'll just spit it out- the breasties are always in a ton of pain and I sweat like a pig all the freaking time. Oh, and my nose is always plugged. And, my favorite: I pee so much that I am going through an entire double roll of toilet paper every day!

I am currently addicted to every baby/pregnancy reality show that is on. I watch Baby Story, Bringing Home Baby, Deliver Me, Birth Day, and Babies: Special Delivery. One might think I have all the time in the world and I was a first time mom. Watching all those shows reminds me of one thing: I am terrified to go through labor and delivery again. My delivery with Hayden was not the least bit pleasant until he came out. Did I mention that I'm scared? I'm afraid of the pain and my epidural not working (like it didn't with Hayden) and on and on.

I cry ALOT at dumb stuff. I watched Footloose the other day and cried, I cried watching American Idol, I cried because the kids didn't like what I made for dinner. I cried when I read my comments on here. I can't help it. I also have had my share of hormonal anger. The other day Chan had NO clean underwear and decided he would toss a load of wet red clothes into a dryer load of white clothes, which resulted in pink streaks on the white stuff. And, he actually said he thought pink was my favorite color! Oh man, I think my neighbors 3 blocks away heard me yell.

And, for the record: people aren't nice to fat chicks who are pregnant. I have had one too many people tell me (when I was expecting Hayden) that they didn't know I was pregnant. And, I have had people tell me my tummy wasn't as firm as so and so. Duh, I am not a size 2. I have given birth to 4 kids and they all left me a souvenir, in the form of a chubby tummy. So, before you even ask- I will not be doing "belly shots". As a matter of fact, pictures of me will be minimal for the next 6 months. Unless I look hot or something then I might consider it, maybe...

And, there you have it. One trimester down, two to go. Wish me luck!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

My kind of day!

Jon and I celebrated our birthday (yes, we were both born on February 28th) on Saturday by doing a few of the things we enjoy. I slept in until NOON! Meanwhile, Jon went to work and afterwards took the kids to the BMX track for some practice. While they were gone I piddled around the house (cleaning and Facebook-ing) and took the longest bath ever. It felt great! And as an added bonus- no one walked in while I was in there because no one was home but me! We had planned to have dinner and see a movie, but the movie we wanted to see (The Wrestler with Mickey Rourke) was only playing in Dallas and at Grapevine Mills. Chan was babysitting and we felt it would be best if we ate and came straight home. Honestly, that's more our style anyway seeing as we outgrew club hopping a long time ago. Some people may find us boring, but that's just who we are. Dinner out and adult conversation are luxuries and really I am too tired to do much more. We went to one of our favorite places: P F Changs and had some yummy food- super spicy Dali chicken, shrimp with candied walnuts, lettuce wraps, and chicken fried rice. Yum! I had to un-button my pants on the way home, lovely. So worth it though. Even though it was super low key, we had fun. We both forgot to get cards and decided against cake, seeing as we were way too full. But, we made a promise to each other to get cards asap and that tomorrow evening we will have cake. Not uncommon for Jon to forget, but very unlike me, I have been slightly distracted... I do want to thank EVERYONE for the awesome birthday wishes via phone, text, cards, and Facebook. I really am blessed to have such great family and friends. And, before I log off for the night I wanted to share our fortunes, they seemed very fitting considering our recent news this past week. For some reason the waiter gave us three cookies even though it was just me and Jon. I of course took it to mean I should eat two of them, one for me and one for the baby.

Jon's fortune: Your eyes will soon be opened to a world full of beauty, charm and adventure. And on the back was one word: GIRL.

My two fortunes: #1- A single kind word can keep one warm for years and #2- You will receive a surprising gift very soon.

Happy Birthday to me and Jon 2/28/2009