She's baaaaaaacccckkkk!

Don't get too excited, I may up and quit before the week is out... But, either way- I thought I'd re-acquaint y'all with me. So, here goes.

I am a feisty redheaded mom of 5. I used to be a FAT chick, but am now what I consider chubby, if a size 12 is chubby. I used to weigh 270 at my highest and now weigh 175. I am addicted to Mexican food, pretzel M&M's, Diet Coke, kissing my baby (because he's the only one that can't get away) and my daily walks. I don't really have any talents to speak of- I can't cook, sew, scrapbook, take good pictures, etc etc. I am however a loyal friend and I think I'm pretty damn funny, so there! I am very good at- long bubble baths, Facebook, and window shopping. Right now my house is for sale and my hubby just started another job and cut his hours at his primary job. So, we are broke and it sucks. But, what can you do? I tried my hand at home-schooling my daughter but I felt tied down and she was bored so now, it's just me, my baby, and my oldest son who is both out of school AND unemployed. It's a barrel of fun. Not really. I hope to pick blogging up again full time. I can't promise I'll stick to it. I really hope I can provide a sounding board for myself and a laugh for y'all. If I am feeling ambitious I may fancy up my background and such and if y'all are lucky- I might even post some pictures. Don't count on it though. One thing I realized after having another baby- my kids are the boss around here not me. I'm just glad I get to eat and periodically shower....

Weight Loss Progress

For those of you on Facebook, this is old news. But, I'm posting it here anyways...

This is me when Cam was 6 weeks old and me as of July. I have lost 75 pounds since the day he was born. As of late April I am at 40 pounds lost and over 20 inches! Yay me! I am saving for a tummy tuck and breast lift, for reals. If I can get down to 145, I'm meeting with a surgeon. I am at 190 now. 45 more to go....




P.S. I suck at making photo collages....

Bye, for now...

Well, you had to know this was coming. I'm saying Bye Bye Bye to my blog for now. Even though I rarely if ever post and probably have little to no readers, I wanted to formally say- see ya! I really wanted to keep my blog updated, I just can't. I APPLAUD those of you who keep yours updated- I admire y'all and thoroughly enjoy reading about your families and experiences. Keep it up! I am just overwhelmingly busy with my life right now. I am constantly breastfeeding, washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking, tending to Camden or exercising. If I'm lucky I might be able to shower or read a magazine... I don't even get to chat or hang out with my older kiddos as often as I'd like. Used to, when I first started blogging, I had my camera all the time and a list of blog ideas. Now, I rarely even sit at the computer. I have joked that I was cheating on my blog with Facebook, and it's true. If cell phones weren't so darn internet friendly I wouldn't even be on Facebook either. Believe it or not- this is actually very emotional for me. I have met some amazing people through blogging (Sarah, Shannon, Krista- to name a few) and will miss it terribly. Thanks again for friendship, laughter, and the support and well wishes you have shown me in the 3 years I've been a blogger. Don't give up on me though- keep me on a reader or in your favorite's list. I just may surprise you and become A Blogging Queen someday- like say if I reach my goal weight or get pregnant again (as if) or win the lottery (I wish). Love y'all! It's been AMAZING!

P.S. I'm now 190lbs (have lost 40 pounds and 20 inches)!
Hunter is starting high school!
I might be home-schooling Chloe!
Hayden turned expert in BMX!
Camden is fixing to be 1 and is taking steps here and there!
Jon has lost 20 pounds since he started working two jobs!
and, Chan is finding that adulthood is not all rainbows and lollipops...

P.S.S. if you want to keep reading about my family and antics, add me on Facebook if we're not already friends, I promise I won't think you're weird....

Some current photos!

me and Cam


I recently met some friends from high school for dinner, so much fun!


Chloe has pink hair! For summer only. On and she's officially a teenager now...


Hunter FINALLY cut his hair!


Cam can feed himself!

Because I am AWESOME!

I have lost almost 35 pounds! I now weigh: 197.6! I haven't weighed this "little" since 1997. Anyway, just wanted to share. Ok, now go comment away telling me how proud you are and how awesome I am. Only if you feel like it ;)

HI!

Yeah, so I'm even worse at blogging than before...oops! I am not gonna make an excuse, just know that with 5 kids time for myself is sparse.
So- here's the rundown:

I am absolutely obsessed with weight loss. I'm 2 pounds away from being under 200 and I couldn't be happier! Yes I could- if I was 140. I am hoping I can get there by January. My total weight loss is 28.4 pounds and just over 12 inches, 5 of those in my hips alone... As long as I get in some exercise, don't go over my calories, and my chores are done I'm good. Oh yeah, I do try to hang with the kids as much as possible.
Jon is working ALL THE TIME and he is the #1 playmate around here, so the kids are bored out of their minds. I'm having a hard time thinking of inexpensive activities for kids ranging from 9 months to 18 years. Our pool is green- we are missing an important part that helps the pool stay chlorinated so swimming is out. I can't take Cam to movies so that's out. Jon used to be off on Wednesdays and during summer that was our big family activity day, but no more. The X-box broke so video games are out. So, we're kinda bummed and blah. It's bugging the kids more than me since I'm so focused on weight loss.

Chan is having a hard time finding job, which stinks. He might be living here til he's 30... we'll see. He spends most of his time reading and playing guitar. He is also working on his weight and has lost 15 pounds since graduation.

Chloe, Hunter, and Hayden are just chillin' every day. Fighting over the computer, sleeping too late and being annoying.

Cam is FINALLY sleeping in his crib at night. He cried quite a bit at first but has done fairly well. Last night he slept for 11 hours without waking up! He still naps in my arms, the car, or the stroller. But, Rome wasn't built in a day right? He is cruising furniture like crazy, crawling everywhere and his two words are dadada and lalala. Super cute! He also just got two teeth that have barely busted through his gums the last few days.

So, that's about it! I totally understand if NO ONE reads this anymore. And, comments? Who needs 'em? See y'all soon!

Me: on another diet

Yeah, so I'm dieting again. This time, (crosses fingers) I am doing a little better than before. Amen to breastfeeding. Which I'm probably going to be doing until Camden starts kindergarten... Anyway, I am doing much like I did before when I lost a little over 20 pounds- watching portions, having mustard instead of mayo, lots of fresh fruit, only diet sodas, etc. I am allowing myself about 1500 calories per day, sometimes less sometimes more. I still need to maintain a good diet since Cam nurses ALOT. Which is ok with me, because I am losing it quicker than I thought I could. Why didn't I start this when he was 7 weeks old instead of 7 months old? Oh yeah- postpartum depression. Anyway... I normally wouldn't post my starting weight being the internet and all. But, what the hell? So here goes:

my highest non-pregnant weight- 258 (after my appendix surgery)
9 months pregnant weight- 270
weight when I started dieting- 231
weight now- 211.6

Yep, that's right! I have lost 19.4 pounds since April 15th (58.4 since I delivered Cam). It has been crazy- trying to count calories in addition to fitting in a 2 to 3 mile walk every day. The calorie counting has been pretty easy, thanks to an app called Lose It on my phone. The walks are another matter- it's stray angry dog city out here. But, I'm managing thanks to walking with some friends and a wooden sword from Medieval Times! Seriously though, I am so close to being under 200 it's crazy! I am pretty stoked especially since A) I havent weighed this amount since Chloe was 6 months old and B) I am at the smallest size Lane Bryant sells which means I can finally start shopping for clothes somewhere else! Yeehaw! Not that their clothes aren't cute, I'm just tired of that being one of the only places I can shop. I would dress totally different if my options for clothing weren't so limited. Plus, those fat girl clothes are expensive! All that extra fabric... So, wish me luck. I hope to be chosen for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue next Summer. Not really.

He's got him a high school deeplomaaa!

Oh my gosh... really. I cannot believe my Chan graduated high school. Not that I ever doubted him, not one bit. I am seriously dripping snot and tears as I type this. I guess I'm not good with change, or knowing that he's officially a big kid now and technically doesn't need me anymore. Basically the scissors are hovering near the apron strings and I'm trying to back away... All these years I knew it would hit me HARD when graduation day came. I had him my Senior year and didn't do the whole walk across the stage thing and this was like I graduated right along with him. I just can't believe I won't have to replace another school ID or wash his favorite dress code shorts at midnight or make him his favorite brown bag lunch again and that is making the lump in my throat bigger than it needs to be. I remember every single moment of his first day of kindergarten: he had sausage and pancakes and wore a black and white t-shirt with jeans and these little Payless brand tennis shoes. We even stopped at Sack -n- Save for kleenex because that's a "required" school supply item and I believe we got him an ultra groovy soccer backpack at S&S too. Weird. I was so afraid he was gonna cry and that little fart walked away from me and started coloring and said- "you can go now Mom". Umm, okay. And, he has continued to amaze me ever since- winning 3 spelling bees to reading Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings in 2ND GRADE!! And, man oh man all the neat stories he would write. He has always loved literature and it wasn't until he was 15 that he developed a love of music and guitar. I am just so very happy that I have been able to get to know, teach, and love this kid and love that he teaches me too. I asked my friend Kathi earlier when the lump in my throat would go away and she said never, it just changes as life does and as you experience more and more as you live. Well put. However, I wish mine would simmer down a bit. I'm having a hard time breathing.

Anyway- yesterday was nuts! Typical for us of course but I think it was nuttier than normal. It was a very long day. Starting with Hayden's field day and ending with Chan's graduation. The venue was jampacked and parking was scarce. I ended up parking in a lot but then it started pouring and the attendant ducked for cover, so I never paid, oops. I had Hunter and Cam with me and my mom went in with Chloe and Jon, Hayden, and Chan had gotten there earlier. I was so afraid I was gonna miss him walking in but thankfully I was able to get in there in time. As soon as the music started I stood in amazement and bawled like a baby. And, let's see- I couldn't take my stroller in the stands, my carseat was blocking the aisle and Cam lost patience quick. All in all I was in and out of the stands about ten times. Getting out to leave was insane, I lost my whole family and was shoved many many times. Which, for a feisty redhead was not fun, I tried super hard to maintain my cool.... It was just a crazy night. I drove my mom back to Grand Prairie and scarfed down two Whataburger taquitos in her driveway, the first meal I'd had since noon and it was nearing midnight. Anyway- I am not sure what the future holds for Chan or any of us to be honest. But, I am sorta excited to find out!

about to take their seats for the ceremony


The Graduate!


our family


mama and her baby



the official document

Ding Ding Ding!

We have our winners!

Laura- you've won the s'mores basket!

and

Kathi- you've won the outdoor fun basket!

Yay! Thanks for reading and entering and stuff!!


P.S. Laura- I will bring yours to church and Kathi- I can bring yours to GP or I can take it to Erica's :)

Summer Giveaway!

As promised I am doing a giveaway in honor of 700 posts and because school is out in like, 4 days. Amen! I had all these grand plans for one of the baskets and life is just too busy to craft. Heck, I can barely find time to bathe... Anyway. Enter by leaving a comment indicating which basket you want. I'll devise a way to choose a winner and let you know via email if you've won. I'm starting the giveaway now and ending it whenever I darn well please. Or in other words- whenever I, A) remember and B) have time. I have two baskets to gift. One is a daytime fun basket- sidewalk chalk, water guns, water balloons, bubbles, and freezer pops. The other is a s'mores basket- s'mores forks, hershey bars, marshmallows, and graham crackers. If you want to enter both let me know or if you only want to try your luck at one please indicate. Ready. Set. Enter.

outdoor/daytime fun basket


s'mores basket

Holy Cow! 700 posts?!

Oh crap! My life is INSANE lately. I cannot stress that enough. Jon started a second full time job on Monday and I have been playing single parent and it is HARD. He's been working 6am til about 8pm every night. My kids are driving me nuts- mainly my daughter and my baby. Chloe is just a giant teenage drama queen. Camden is so spoiled that not having his mommy to himself like normal has turned him into a ginormous cry baby. He has fussed so much this week that he is hoarse. Blah! My other kids, on the other hand, are being complete angels.
Anyway, I did want too acknowledge my 700th post! I cannot believe I was able to talk/type that much interesting (I hope) stuff. I am doing an awesome giveaway to kick off Summer. I am crossing my fingers that by tomorrow morning I'll have it ready to present.... I sure hope you've enjoyed reading all about my life- kids, husbands, babies, teenagers, periods and poop to name a few highlights! Now, I'm off to get kids from school and take Chan to his physical therapy appointment. Oh and Cam's out of baby food and I need to go to the DMV and I have to make cupcakes and buy a gift, and.... you get the point.
THANKS for reading! I love y'all to bits! Keep checking for my giveaway, it'll be on here before the goodies are obsolete, I hope.

Bleh

Yeah, so I forgot to blog. Or something. I'm sure my previous post had nothing to do with me being tired, bloated, cranky, stressed, weepy and in no mood to blog. Oh no, Aunt Flo doesn't do that. She's a nice visitor. One who doesn't cause trouble or make messes and never overstays her welcome. Yeah right. Let's be honest- the last 5 days have been AWFUL. Basically I have been begging for menopause. Case closed. In other news- I am super bummed about LOST ending, I can't get Camden to sleep through the night without his (my) precious boobers, I've been walking 2 miles every night and my scale has a death grip on the exact same number while I have a death grip on anything and everything chocolate, and other than a few little happy spots, my Mother's Day was the worst one I have ever ever had. I really don't wanna go into detail, because I am all cried out. But, don't feel sorry for me, I am a big girl and as Jon told me- it's just a silly commercialized holiday. Ugghh. Men are so retarded. Tell me why we need them again? And, that's all I've got except for two teeny little things in my head. 1) does anybody know a plastic surgeon who wants to lift, tuck, and suck my body pro bono just because he/she is nice and I'm cute? It might be a tax write off for him/her. 2)This is my 699 post since August of '07 and I MIGHT do a giveaway to celebrate the BIG ONE. Maybe, but don't get too excited. I might decide to not blog again for a month or more. It all depends on what drama/loveliness might or might not get thrown my way.

men-stroo-ay-shun

So I've been a hormonal mess the past few days. Nothing new really- I mean I had finally leveled out a little bit from when Camden was born and was feeling normal and then bam! I have been crying like a baby this week. Well, guess what? Aunt Flo decided to come for a visit for the first time since December of 2008. That's right internet- I got my period. I haven't missed it. Not One Bit. I guess it's time to revisit the feminine hygiene aisle of CVS and bust out the Midol. Oh freaking joy. And, if you are cringing at this post- who cares. Whose blog is this? Mine! And, I am hormonal- so look out, especially men named Jon.

I am a mom right?

So, Mother's Day is coming. This year is different, since it was reaffirmed back in September that I am indeed some one's mommy. I think I had forgotten... I have always been a simple (boring) person and I have become even more low maintenance and boring than usual. I have heard having a baby does that to a girl. This year, just like last a big chunk of my family will be at BMX, because that is VERY important. I will likely be alone at church with Camden and I will go see my mommy as my boys who don't ride the bicycles or go to church don't really get the concept of the "holiday". I have to confess- I don't either. I think moms should always be honored and respected. It's always difficult to figure out what to do or where to go on Mother's Day because Jon and I obviously both have moms and we still haven't (after 15 years) figured out a workable family visitation for holidays. And, I have heard it a million times before- I am not his mom. So, with that being said, I really don't know what is going on Sunday. Ok, I think I may have gotten off on a tangent or on a soapbox- take your pick! The point of this post was that I am simple (boring) and would only like simple things for "my day".

My Mother's Day Wish List

I would like:

One night of uninterrupted sleep (no cuddling, no nursing, nothing). I just wanna sleep on my tummy and not have to get up for anything until 8 wondrous hours of slumber have commenced.

A foot rub. One that lasts, and one that I don't have to beg or pay for.

A glorious yummy meal consisting of all of my favorite foods (steak, shrimp, salads, cheesy stuff, avocado, chocolate, etc etc) that I can eat while it's fresh and hot and afterwards I don't get sick to my stomach. Not gonna hold my breath.

A gift certificate to the following- pedicure place, the hair salon, the massage place, my favorite shoe store, my favorite clothing store, and Target. HAHAHAHAHA! As my dad would say- you can wish in one hand and S*&T in the other.

A nice long bubbly bath with a cheesetastic magazine and all the hot water that my heart desires. If I could take it without Camden staring at my boobs or chewing on the empty shampoo bottle that would be a bonus.

A ginormous bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite flower (weed). So sunny and summery and cheerful!

And, I think that's all. While all those things sound amazing and stuff, what I really want is to be with my all my kiddos with no fighting or texting or crying or TV or computer or drama. I just want them to get IT ya know? I know that's asking alot but I can wish right?

mommy and baby

Who wants to see a current picture of me and Camden? Hopefully YOU! Here you go. Oh, he might have a few boogers- this was before his bath and after mine. Jon and I got to leave the house tonight so I got to wear decent clothes and makeup. I might have even brushed my teeth. We went to a friend's 40th birthday party and stopped afterwards for Olive Garden to go. Hey, not the steak I was craving but who am I to complain?

I'm not looking at the camera mother!


this is soooo annoying...


Hey, what's that?


mommy, stop squishing my face!


here Cam, here's how you do it. Smile like mommy!

Dirty Day...

No reason for this post other than I am kinda bored. Believe it or not. The middle kids are outside playing, Jon is reffing a soccer game, Cam is asleep, and my big boys are at friend's houses. I can't wash clothes or dishes. I can't cook. *I can't pack boxes. I can't really do anything. Ok, sweeping and dusting. But, that's mucho boringo. Why, you ask? We have been without water for about 6 hours. What does come out of the tap looks like diarrhea. Sorry, but it's true. I was gonna make homemade mashed potatoes with dinner- no water. I can't even make baked ones- no water to clean them with. I can't make anything that requires water, not even mac-n-cheese. Dang it. Not sure what to make now... Sandwiches anyone? And, I don't know how you are when the water is off for unexplainable reasons, but I really want to take a shower and I'm not even that dirty. Uggh... life in the "country" sorta sucks. And, that's all. I'm just trying to figure out what to do til someone either wakes up or comes home to play with me. Maybe I'll go for a walk, up and down the driveway since Cam is sleeping. Maybe we'll grab takeout and head to the park. Hmmmm...

the offensive "water"


*we are currently in the process of readying the house for sale, yikes! Wish us luck!

It's the small stuff...

I am truly thankful for oh so many things and as I get older I realize more and more just how blessed I really am. I mention this every time I pray and occasionally make a public declaration via Facebook or Blogger. But, I don't take near enough time to express my thanks for the small stuff- until now. I am thankful for:

Target brand baby wipes- fresh smelling, inexpensive, and just as good as the name brand. A must have for a messy spitter upper like Camden. They do a pretty darn good spit shine on counters and coffee tables too.

Duncan Hines chocolate chunk brownies- chocolate, chunks, warm, ooey-gooey, mmm. Another must have for a harried mom of 5. As a matter of fact the mere consumption of too many of these bad boys and I will never be a mother of 6. Brownies as birth control, who knew?

Johnson and Johnson cucumber melon scented baby bath, lotion, and powder- yummy smelling for this baby of mine and me. Said powder also does a darn good job of taming the greasies. Since I rarely have time to wash and dry my hair anymore. Camden is afraid of the blow drier now anyways...

Elsie and Daisy (my boobies)- they enabled my baby to add 10 pounds to his birthweight by 6 months of age as well as provide a nice warm pillow for him to sleep on. Amen.

My iPhone- I just love it so. I have my scriptures, every church hymn, every church manual, and some conference talks on there. In addition to maps that know I'm standing in my kitchen, to all sorts of fun games and nifty apps. So stinkin' fun and worth every penny. I <3 you iPhone.

My sense of humor- I am just glad I can laugh at myself and occasionally at others. There are days when a sense of humor is all I got against this wacky life of mine. I'm not really sure where I got it from but I love it! It makes me smile when people tell me I crack them up :)

Gerber puffs in assorted flavors- these little flavored rice puffball thingys have enabled me to grocery shop, attend church classes, and blog. Camden loves them. Thank You Gerber!

earbuds- this goes without saying if you are a mom of teenagers. They can't hear me nag or the baby cry. As long as I can get their attention by throwing a rubber flip flop or couch cushion at them, we're good.

concealer- any brand will do, as long as it's one shade lighter than the dark circles I have been sporting since 1990. Lately a dash of baby powder to my scalp, chapstick on my pout, and a smidge of concealer and look out world! However, I may need to step up my game. Today Chloe told me she was embarrassed to be seen with me since I was wearing no makeup and my hair was flippy. She said I looked like a soccer mom... As if!?

French vanilla yogurt with vanilla almond granola mixed in- yummy, crunchy, and sorta healthy. Right? Right? Ok, go easy on the granola and you should be ok...

So there you have it, my current can't live withouts. Feel free to add more of your can't live withouts under comments. I can always use a new product to obsess over.

Poop!

I am a little bit OCD about certain things, one of those being my kids and their personal hygiene. I can't force them to bathe... Ok, I can. But, if they want to smell bad, it's not my problem. Now, Camden has no choice. I bathe him every single day, sometimes twice a day. He seems to smell fresh for 5 minutes each day and then the rest of the day it's baby food or spit up smell, yuck! I have a ritual every time I bathe him too. After I have soaped him up from head to toe (toenails and fingernails with a nail brush too) I rinse him, dry him, Q-tip his ears and nose, powder his bum and then I rub him down with lotion. I did this with all the kids until they were about 18 months. Then, they become such a handful I do what I can to de-funkify them. When they are around 3 or 4 they kinda do their own thing with me or Jon supervising. At 5 they decide they want to shower. And, I know for a fact that they don't use as much soap or shampoo as I would like them to nor do they get all the cracks and crevices like I would want them to either. Which brings me to the point of this post. Today, as I was bathing Camden to go on a lunch date with me and my friends I had a flashback of one such incident when Hayden was 6 or so. We had his yearly checkup one morning and the night before I had him shower. I laid out clean clothes and undies- the whole shebang. I Q-tipped his ears and made sure he was nice and shiny before his doctor appointment. The next morning we were rushing around to get ready and it never occurred to me to do a hygiene inspection. We barely made it on time and before you knew it they called us in for our turn with the cute little Asian female doctor. We got in the room and the doctor was asking me about Hayden's progress with school, his eating habits, and his poopy habits- like did he ever get constipated etc. I of course said no, never. Hayden is my "like clockwork every single day after school go poop kid". She proceeds to do his physical exam and lastly goes to check "his business" and to my horror right there in his Power Ranger underwear was a 3D skid mark... I'm not sure but I think after I died of embarrassment I called my insurance company and requested a PCP change. I mean really? Can't kids feel those in their pants? And, I may be wrong here but it seems to be a trend with little boys. Man was I ever mortified... I'm not really sure why that memory jumped in my head today but it did. I also hope Hayden never decides to read my blog and if he does I hope he keeps his sense of humor intact! And, that goes down in my history of unforgettable you wish they'd never happened moments as a mother.

18 tidbits about my 18 year old

In honor of Chandler's 18th birthday, I have compiled a list of 18 things I want to always remember about him and his childhood. These are just but a few of the funny, neat or just plain silly things he has done over the years. Like the time he sneezed on a brand newborn Hunter or when I caught him drinking his prescription bubble gum flavored antibiotic with a crazy straw as if it were no big deal... I sure hope the internet stays put, since I don't wanna forget all this. I am getting old, ya know!?

1. The first morning I woke up at home with my new baby Chandler, I couldn't find him. He was under the covers next to my feet. Not sure how he got down there. We had been nursing and sleeping, or so I thought... I have since perfected the art of co-sleeping, either with my hubby or my kiddos.

2. I was gonna name him Chandler Mackensie- regardless of gender. I picked his first name from a magazine article about a guitar player named Chandler who went by Chan. This same guitar player is now in the band Blues Traveler. I later saw the name in a book, The Prince of Tides. This time it was a little girl named Chandler and I knew then that my baby would be named Chandler.

3. Chandler has always been a big boy. I would often get scolded by nosy people for giving him binkies and bottles when he was so big. People thought he was closer to 4 when he was really only 2. He weighed 50 pounds when he was 2!

4. His first word was BEAST, he was about 10 months old. At the time his favorite movie was Beauty and the Beast. He used to take his binky out, say BEAST and then stick it back in.

5. Barney the big purple dinosaur was hugely popular when Chandler was little. He started out crawling like a baboon with his butt in the air and when he finally learned to walk, he would walk like Barney. Or in other words- stomp around like a dinosaur.

6. Chandler has always been a master at making messes. He was always getting into trouble with ooey gooey substances. Once, he tried to cram oatmeal in the VCR. He also cracked eggs on the TV, which made a nice little scramble on the wood grain. Other favorites- smearing butter on the kitchen floor and more than once emptying an entire container of baby powder. So not fun to clean.

7. He used to love to walk with me and his aunts to our grandma's house. Once there he would put on her slippers and get into her chair where he would feast on peanuts and homemade chocolate chip cookies. This snack would be accompanied by a Diet Coke, with a straw. When she passed away, he asked for her slippers- and he got them.

8. Chan is my kiddo of quirky Halloween costumes. A few of my favorites: Hamburglar and one year he was a Rastafarian, complete with dreads and dark brown skin. I am not sure what I mixed together to make him "black" but it was pretty dang cute.

9. Chandler is super duper crazy smart. He has taken the gifted talented test at school EVERY year since 2nd grade and every year he fails on purpose. He doesn't want to be grouped with the gifted kids and he most certainly doesn't want to have to do more homework than absolutely necessary.

10. He has been in 4 spelling bees, from 2nd to 6th grades. He won 3 of them at the school level and then immediately bombed at the district level. Two words that I remember him messing up on- neighborhood and fauna. Weird what we remember as moms huh?

11. Chandler was afraid of big in ground swimming pools for years and years and it wasn't until after he was 10 or so that he would leave the steps or side of the pool even though he towered above the top of the water. Funny thing is, now he spends more time in our pool than any of us.

12. He LOVES ketchup! More than any other edible substance on Earth. Like, it's a freakin' tragedy if we are out of ketchup. I gifted him with a basket of 18 different varieties for his birthday. He'll eat it on everything from burgers to egg rolls to pizza.

13. He once broke my sister Kelli's cat's pelvis by closing it in a drawer. It only cost $200 bucks to stick a balloon up the cat's butt to fix it....

14. He used to love to color so much. He had a special name for the crayons and to this day I can't figure out the connection. He called them gobies. So cute!

15. He has good taste in friends! He has about 6 close friends who are REDHEADS! It's gotta have something to do with his mom being a redhead. Ok, maybe they're drawn to his red beard. I am hoping for redheaded grandchildren!

16. One of his favorite things to do with his grandpa was "ghost hunting". My dad would drive him around at night to all the areas in town that had long winding roads or little to no street lights and they would "hunt for ghosts".

17. He has not acclimated to driving as well as he would like to. Case in point- he recently drove my van to pick Hunter up from a friend's house and he hit a brick mailbox with my bumper. He used black nail polish, black craft paint and an old pair of boxer shorts to repair the damage. He was genuinely shocked when we figured it out.

18. He gets panicky when he's sick or super sun burnt. His one cure all-to walk around buck naked. That crazy kid has surprised more than one person walking around in the buff....

And one to grow on- He told us today that he wants to be an astronaut. This child of mine who vomited when he got a hair on his toothbrush, and when he smelled a bad fart, and when he saw the dog eat a poopy diaper. This same kid who is not too thrilled with roller coasters wants to be an ASTRONAUT?!

Oh brother....

On my Chan-Man

I have been wanting to sit down and blog about Chandler for quite some time, but haven't really had a ton of time to devote to the kind of post I wanted to do. I am determined to get this finished before dawn... Way back in March, Chandler celebrated his 18th birthday. Which, is a huge milestone for so many reasons: he is legally considered an adult now, he can vote, he's old enough to work at Target (score), etc etc. But, the biggest milestone for me personally was that I never imagined I could raise a kid, let alone get one to adulthood. And yes, I know he is barely an adult.

I am not sure how many of you guys that read this know that Chandler has a different father, whom he has never met and that I met his step-dad Jon (who is HIS DAD, regardless of genetics) when he was almost 3. Yes, I was a "single" mom although I did live with my sisters and my parents. I was responsible for his care as much as I physically, emotionally, and financially could- whenever I could. I mainly relied on backup from my sisters because I didn't want my parents to think I couldn't handle a kid, my kid. You see, I had only been 17 for a few short months whenever I got pregnant. I was a statistic- an unwed, pregnant teenager. I was also nearly 16 weeks along before I even found out I was expecting. I strongly suspected it, but was in massive denial and didn't really know where or whom to turn to. It wasn't until I finished up a session at Summer school that I had a few of my friends drive me to a free clinic in Dallas. I pretty much knew I was pregnant, I just needed confirmation. As if the sore breasts, nausea, and terrible exhaustion weren't a big enough clue. So silly, but I remember giving a fake name in case the nurse at the clinic decided to tattle on me. Once I found out I kept it between me, my sisters, and my friends who took me to the clinic. I had always known that I wasn't meant to be your typical young adult, I had felt it since I was a little girl. I just didn't know what my future held- but I was about to find out, quick! I managed to keep my secret for a few weeks and it wasn't until a huge fight with my mom did the cat jump out of the bag. I was terrified of what my dad would say/think. Instead, I think for the first time in several years a light seemed to shine on our family. Little did I know what joy, hope, and happiness he would bring to all of us. Which is what brings me to this post- Chandler's 18th birthday is such a huge milestone because he came into this world 2 weeks after I turned 18. I could go on and on about my life thus far with the Chanster, but I won't. Simply put, yes there were and will continue to be hard days. But, for every hard moment there have been a thousand more awesome ones. I will say that I was headed down the wrong path, doing all kinds of foolish crap and I 100% believe that Chandler saved my life and came into this world when I and my family needed it most. He is such a cool, awesome, smart, funny, quirky kid and I am alot proud and truly honored that he picked me to be his mommy.

gettin' his hair did


me (19) and Chan (1)


Senior night at his school (back in October)


me and Chan and Cam on his 18th birthday (sorta blurry)

Currently....

I smell like Gerber vegetable beef dinner, spit up, and vanilla lotion

I have one boob supported by my bra and the other one is free-fallin'

Camden is playing with a pair of sunglasses, a calculator, and a trial size deodorant

I am playing 8 games of Words with Friends and I am losing most of them- one on purpose

I have 2 quarters waiting to be disinfected on my kitchen sink. Chloe put them in Cam's diaper as a joke and he of course pooped...

I'm trying to make myself clean the garbage off the back porch. I caught a real life coyote eating through a bag of trash last night...

I am super bummed that I missed church today :( Camden screamed his head off from 12 to 4 and it was AWFUL. I was way too exhausted to even get out of bed til after 11- dang it...

I'm crossing my fingers that Jon finishes his "sabbatical" soon, because I need a break

I'm taking being the mom of a tween girl moment by moment

I'm SO THANKFUL that my boys are soooo laid back, whew

My floors are so dirty, I'm truly embarrassed

I'm in the middle of planning Chan's graduation hoopla and festivities. Darn it, that kid CANNOT be a Senior already!

I'm kinda sorta thinking Cam might want a sibling/baby brother/playmate ;)

I'm about to go bang my head on the ground for making the above statement

Totally OK and Not So Fast...

Hey, it's totally ok to:

nurse your baby after feeding him/her baby food. Contrary to popular belief, sweet potatoes and peas ARE good for your areolas!

walk around with a booger on your cheek. You can always blame it on that sweet hug one of your children just gave you and not on the fact that you just sneezed into your elbow. What? You WERE trying to avoid spraying one million snot droplets into the already contaminated air at Walmart.

share a spoon with AND eat after your baby but not your school age children. He suckles at your breast and the memory of his descent from the birth canal is still fresh in your mind, while those older children of yours are entering puberty and they attend public school. Gross!

let your toddler chew on your daily wear flip flops but have a mini heart attack if he/she even thinks about crawling on the floor at the pediatrician's office. The germs on your shoe are from your house (mostly) while the doctor's office floor is germ soup...

dress your kiddos to the nines while you look like something the cat wouldn't even touch with a 10 foot pole let alone drag in.

go 5 days without washing your hair. I did hear the "wet look" might make a comeback, maybe...

resurrect your day old makeup (that you slept in) with a little bit of concealer and fresh makeup. Work it girl!

stick yesterday's clothes in the dryer with a Bounce dryer sheet AFTER you spiff them up with a wet rag first. After all you did look sorta cute and there just might be a dried booger on the sleeve of your shirt.

give your baby an unplugged small electronic to play with while you try to blog... I may or may not have done this. Ok, it was a clock and it was unplugged!

wash 17 loads of laundry in one week but not fold a single sock

Not so fast:

Mom jeans aren't hot- ever! I don't care what InStyle magazine says. They're just goofy and yes they do make you look fat!

If your bra strap is riding up between your shoulder blades it's too small! You either need a new bra or a breast reduction. Hint- bras are cheaper, easier on the eyes and alot less painful!

Never go to bed without brushing your teeth. Trust me. Yes, it has happened to me recently and it was after consuming garlic and cheese. All I have to say is- cat turd breath.

I don't care what you may think- NO ONE'S grass is greener. Please please please take this to heart. I have to tell myself this often. It may seem like your problems are worse than anyone on Earth, but they're not. Everyone has issues, problems, and concerns. They're either mental or much better at hiding crap than you.

Don't rough-house with a freshly bathed or fed baby. He/she will projectile vomit all over you and his/her freshly bathed self. This has happened to me no less than ten times a day the last 7 months and I STILL haven't learned my lesson.

Don't put off knowing what you are going to wear, how long it will take you to get ready and possible traffic jams. You will be late, you always are. Oh wait. That's what I've been meaning to write on my bathroom mirror- sorry :p

And, there you have it. A small sampling of the do's and don'ts of Mommyhood according to Ashley!

I've lost that blogging feeling...

I really miss my blog so so much. It bums me out that I no longer have time for it. And, I've tried- I really have. I even gloated in my last post that I was gonna get back into blogging full force... It seems since then that life got even more hectic, if that's even possible. I've also gotten out of the habit. Plus, I honestly feel as if I have nothing good or funny or interesting to say, dangit. I mean, my older kids are to the point where they are gone with friends or texting or yelling at me so there's no blog material there. Hayden still says some dang funny crap and does cute stuff but when you're out of the habit of blogging it just gets tucked into your memory instead of on the computer. I'm not gonna say I'm taking a break- wouldn't wanna cause anyone to roll their eyes at me! But, I will say that I would really like to pick it back up again I just don't know if I'll be able to. Honestly, my hats off to those of you who find time to update and make me smile! Each morning I hit the floor running and work away at laundry and little bits of exercise and chores. Plus, I spend a ton of time playing and cuddling with Camden. We try and venture out to the park or shopping or lunch with friends a few times a week. But really my days are jam packed and there are only so many hours in a day. However, in the Spirit of Ashley I am gonna do A LIST!

Reasons Why I Never Blog Anymore

1) I do at least 3 loads of laundry a day which takes a ton of time and sucks royally...

2) My entire family is sharing one computer (6 people x 1 computer = no blogging)

3) I have a 7 month old baby who is already pulling up, crawling, and generally being a big handful!

4) I have been preparing a big home cooked meal every night and it takes me at least 2 hours between the baby and preparation not to mention cleanup and whatnot. Ugh! Remind me why family dinner is important again?!

5) I am cheating on my blog with Facebook. It's express blogging! Much faster and easier and like 10 times the comments :)

6) I've been spending a little bit of time exercising, which is much better for my butt than the desk chair.

7) I am having a love affair with my iPhone and this nifty game called Words with Friends. It's superb!

8) I've lost the knack! I 100% think I am way too boring for blogging words... Really, I don't know what to blog about anymore

9) I let myself get out of the habit, unfortunately.

10) If I'm gonna take time to do something for myself it's not gonna be on the computer. I'm gonna read a book or get a pedicure or something.

11) Having a much desired baby come into an already hectic, nutty, household has kicked my butt- but good! I have said that before but I don't think anyone realizes unless you have a kid who is crying, nursing, getting into crap or whining to be held. Plus, his 30 minute naps unless he's on his mom's tittay are also a factor. If I ever get pregnant again... so help me Lord.

12) My stomach problems. I finally had an ultrasound today and hope it shows what's wrong. If not I have to go in for an endoscopy. There are days when I have a million things planned but if my tummy is acting up I barely leave the couch or get to eat. Case in point- I recently lost 7 pounds in 5 days.

I think that pretty much sums it up. I reallyreallyreally love my blog and I love to read all of my friend's blogs but there just aren't enough hours in the day. Keep checking mine and I'll keep checking yours ;) I may just surprise you one day and update this bad boy. I love all of y'all to bits and I am so so grateful for the friendships, memories, and support that have been born since I started blogging. Muah!

a recent "project"- one current pic of each kiddo (wait, how did I have time to do that??)

Miss Me, Miss Me...

now you gotta kiss something??
Anyway- I bet you are as shocked as I am that I am actually blogging... I really do miss it and updating is always in the back of my mind, but I am just so busy all the time. However, now that Camden is trying to grow up on me and be alot more independent I might actually have time to blog! Sounds crazy I know, but in the last 10 days he has finally developed a taste for baby food and learned to sit up, crawl, and pull up! Yes, I realize he will be into everything but he won't be overly clingy and wanting to nurse every hour and be held constantly. I have tried for months to figure out why he constantly spits up and is fussy between his every hour nursing sessions (in addition to several other symptoms) and I finally think I know what it is! Read here. Basically I am making too much of the sugary first milk and not enough of the fatty hind milk (that satisfies him longer) which means he is hungry and gassy and has every other symptom listed except for frequent diaper rashes. It has been very frustrating simply because not only was I not used to a baby in the house but none of my other kiddos were this clingy and fussy. But, now that he is relying on three mini meals of baby food a day and can move all around the house (so far he's staying in the living room) he is much less cranky and A TON of fun! Which for me means- I can have my life back! If only for a little while. Until he's trying to dive off the couch or open the cabinets for pots to bang on or maybe go fishing in the toilet. He is a momma's boy though which drives Jon nuts so when I do get to take a nice looong bath or get on the computer, it's never for very long.... but we'll get there- I think! I can't promise I'll post daily but I am gonna try.

Cam is 6 months old already?!

My little Camden turned 6 months old on the 10th, craziness! In some ways it seems like he's been here forever and in other ways, I feel like I'm reliving the first month all over again... He has definitely been a challenging baby, and I was definitely not used to having a baby in the house. He seems to be a snacker when he nurses and wants to nurse for 15 minutes every hour, plus he wants to nurse to sleep for naps and at night. So, I often wonder why I bother wearing a top or bra... Really I should go lounge on a topless beach somewhere with a cool drink and let him snack away. I guess I was more used to my freedom than I realized! He loves to be read to or be played with, tickled, cooed at, rocked etc. and he loves his jumperoo and swing, but he can only last solo for 15 minutes or less. So, between the near constant nursing and his less than stellar attention span, I am constantly at his beck and call! Don't you dare call him spoiled....
And, now for the fun stuff! He has almost mastered getting into a sitting position alone, once he's there he can stay that way unassisted for a good long while. He has been rocking on all fours for over a month and does these spastic jerky crawling motions. He can drag himself forward a bit and has mastered backwards scooting. He is blowing bubbles, still cooing, giggling, and has just started the cutest babbling sounds. He likes water from a cup and finally loves baby cereal. His other faves are pureed or refried beans, mashed potatoes, avocado, yogurt, and mashed banana, or in other words- big people food. I am fixing to stop at nothing to get him to eat baby food. I want him used to all the flavors as opposed to him wanting big people food all the time! There are only so many things I can mash up that he won't gag on and I'm too busy to make homemade baby food! He still sleeps with us, which is kicking my butt because he wants to nurse alot or snuggle up to my boob (his pillow) and I am tired all the time because of that...
He is absolutely in LOVE with the big kids and gets very excited, giggly, and smiley when they come home from school. They are pretty smitten with him too. However, they hate when he cries in the car (which he loathes) and when he's fussy when they are ready for bed. They also DO NOT like when he spits up on them and so far Jon and I are the only ones that will change a poopy diaper. Which at this moment is still every other day and yellow- they are gonna die when it's brown and super stinky...
Anyway- here's to the next 6 months! May they be just as fun, not as stressful, and full of fun memories!
P.S. I may add a few pics later- he's being fussy right now... big shocker! This is one of many reasons I never get to blog anymore!!

Liar Liar

Ok, so I am supposed to be keeping up with my blog... and I haven't! I have reasons though. Of course I have reasons! Chandler had surgery, again. He had ACL/MCL reconstruction on his knee. Basically they take a piece of tendon from his knee and repair or make new ligaments with it. It's a pretty intense surgery and he has been home with me for a week. He has recovered nicely up to this point but has needed ice bags, medicine, food, and drink constantly so between nursing Camden and tending to Chandler I have barely had time to breathe. Plus, not to mention Cam has had a nasty eye infection and Hayden has a sinus infection. So, between the three boys I have kept Walgreens in business this week. They have had 7 RX's filled in the last week! I won't even tell you the hours I spent in Doctor's waiting rooms...
Then, it was mine and Jon's birthday on Sunday. Big whoop! I turned a big number and Jon turned an even bigger number- 40. And, because I am so not on my game, we did a whole lotta nothin'! Jon chose to spend his day at the track and I went to church. We met up for Chili's, we let the kids choose and they loooove Chili's. Honestly I like to eat there, but my friend Lois took me there for my birthday lunch (and gave me an awesome bracelet and necklace) on Friday and I guess I thought Jon and I would be lucky enough to score a sitter and have a super nice birthday evening but it wasn't meant to be. I feel bad because I really wanted to throw Jon an awesome Over the Hill party but the surgeon insisted Chandler needed surgery asap and that took first priority. I promise eventually I will make it up to him.... somehow!
And then, one of my mom's closest friends who I thought the world of passed away on Friday and the funeral was yesterday. So sad :( Her passing away really bothered me because not only am I growing older but the people who I admired as a child and spent time with that were adults then are now reaching their golden years and with that comes sickness and death. One of the parts of being an adult I do not like a bit.
So, those are my reasons. I am bound and determined to keep my blog going, it's just hard! Bear with me. I hope to get out and about more with the kiddos and hopefully have lots of fun and take lots of pics. Crossing my fingers...

On that depression thing...

*this is long, but please read it all. And, just so you know I could have taken a shower but I decided to blog instead!*

Ok, so I know I said I needed to gather my thoughts before I posted, but I never did. I'm just gonna start typing and hope I don't sound like an idiot. After each of my babies was born I got a little bit blue. It starts as I drive away from the hospital. And, I can only guess it's because the pregnancy is over and all of the attention that was focused on me is now focused on a wrinkly smelly screaming little creature that I am head over heels in love with. Alot of it is exhaustion too. After a week or so I always think I'm in a routine and I have dodged the postpartum depression bullet. But, it rears it's ugly head and the days and nights are a blur and there are lots of tears. By month 3 I am good as new. However, this time it started the minute I found out I was pregnant and got progressively worse as I neared my due date. I knew the minute I found out that I would never be pregnant again and that finality was weighing on me. Because, I love me some babies but I am no Michelle Duggar and I am definitely not Octomom, maybe I'm somewhere in between? Anyway what I am trying to say is, babies are like a drug so to speak. They're intoxicating and soft and amazing and all these wonderful things that outweigh the crying and the poopy diapers and sleepless nights, but you can only have so many. They turn into people, with issues and drama, and stress and I want to be the best mom I can and my plate is full!
Anyways- I was a teeny bit excited and a whole lot scared shi*less. I had never really gotten over being blue when Hayden went off to kindergarten. Plus, I was so nearing freedom with Chan fixing to turn 18 and Hayden able to wipe his own butt and cook his own Kid Cuisines. I was TERRIFIED to have a baby. And, while I admit it was fun to do the whole Surprise! I'm pregnant announcement and belly shots, and buying all new baby goodies and whatnot- deep down I knew I was in for it. Thankfully, I stayed busy with my kids and the pregnancy progressed not too fast, not too slow. Let me stop here and say that during my pregnancy I worked really hard to keep up the facade that I was FINE and EXCITED even though I was sweating nails, often. I was also absolutely THRILLED to have another child, but the dark cloud of postpartum depression constantly loomed over everything.
Fast forward to labor and delivery. The whole time I was in labor I was praying silently in my head that I would dodge the blues. But, guess what? The second they whisked him off to the nursery for his group B strep tests (I was positive, remember?) I almost lost it. Even watching him get his bath an hour later I was standing at the nursery window watching the nurse suds him up and I was trembling and sweating. I really wanted to turn back time at that point. I was in LOVE but I was confused... The first few days home were filled with diaper changes, nursing, naps and endless visitors. I kept waiting for things to feel "normal" again. And, here I am almost 6 months later and guess what? I am a little better than I was that very first day, but not by much. Each day presents different challenges. In the very beginning I would get so frustrated and overwhelmed when Cam would cry. Seeing the laundry and dishes pile up would make me cry even more and my chest ache. Just the day to day of a sorta big family was kicking my butt and stressing me out, BAD! I can't tell you how many times I told Jon that I couldn't do it anymore and if things didn't change I was taking the baby and leaving. What frustrates me most is how I kept getting mad about things like my desk being full of mail or the fact that we had clean but not folded laundry. How silly of me! I have 5 beautiful children and am blessed beyond measure and I am fussing over laundry and unopened mail! But then, there were those same big kids and their fighting and endless stream of activities and school projects. Then, it seemed as if we would ALWAYS need groceries or diapers or milk or something. I'm not even touching on the "I'm a fat, ugly, terrible mom, loser." Or the "I suck at everything, no one loves me, I'm a worthless piece of crap" feelings that were always laughing at me from afar. To top it all off there were days when I felt like WonderWoman. Days when no one fought, homework was done, I cooked a decent dinner and had a chance to shower. I was and am still on a roller coaster ride of emotions. It is not fun. I am trying to feel better though and little things like not sleeping too much, a good long bath, a phone call with a good friend or a much needed scripture verse work wonders. I basically try many many little things each and every day to feel happy and "normal". I hope and pray each day that as soon as I finish nursing for good that my hormones will level out even more and I will feel 100%. I am absolutely GIDDY and BLESSED and in LOVE with my family although Jon and I have seen better days, but I am trying. I am oh so thankful for wise women who have been there both as a shoulder or an ear or those that have experienced the exact same things I am feeling now. I have complete faith in my Heavenly Father that I will get better and this experience is but a blip on my eternal radar and I can only hope that I am learning from this experience each day that passes. For sure makeup and a shower work wonders for me, and simply opening the blinds to let the sun shine in. So, that's it. I am sure I have left out so much, but I hope that at least one person can read this and relate or learn from my experience and if I can help one person in my shoes to smile or feel better then I have accomplished something today. Thanks for reading :)

She's Baaaack.... (she thinks)

Ok, so I guess I'm gonna try and get back to this blog thing. This first post back will be an update so to speak. Since I last blogged, the following things have occurred:

Hunter turned 14. We had pizza, cake, and a few friends over. A good time was had by all. Yes, I have pics. No, I'm not posting them now. Maybe later.

My parents celebrated their 50th anniversary. A few of us kiddos threw them a small dinner party to celebrate. We had yummy Mexican food and a delightfully tacky gold and creme cake. A great slideshow with awesome music and good conversation. Again, I took some pics before my camera started acting stoopid and I may or may not post some.

Camden came down with RSV! My first official experience with it. Thankfully it was a mild case and he only needed breathing treatments for a week. Whew! He was pretty fussy and miserable but we made it!

I have had SEVERAL people mad at me for various DUMB reasons. They run the gamut from I am a stay home mom and that's not fair to those that have to work, to who I'm friends with- both on Facebook and in person, to the fact that I am what I am and apparently there are things about me that are super duper annoying, who knew? Honestly, I don't give a crap. I'm sorry, but I'm never gonna be sorry. Accept me or reject me just please quit whining.

I joined a gym. That's right, a gym. I have been wearing knit stretchy fabrics and oversized tops for a year and I am sick of it. It's time to lose the maternity garb and get moving again. I NEED to get this weight off. Plus, I am hoping to release some feel good endorphins. We'll see. I doubt I will ever be thin. Scratch that, I KNOW I'll never be thin. But, a girl's gotta try!

Camden grew up a whole lot! He is currently: rocking on all fours, doing full complete turns when he's on his belly by scooting in a circle, rolling 2 or 3 feet at a time, and my favorite- constantly smiling and giggling. I love it! He is soo sweet! However, he still loathes baby food except plain rice cereal. I confess I have given him a few bites of avocado, refried beans and some vanilla yogurt, all of which he loved! He better not be a picky eater like Hayden or I'm done for!

We got a buttload of snow, try not to get a visual ;). But, unless you live under a rock you know that D/FW got record snowfall last week. It was absolutely gorgeous. I could get used to more frequent snow, maybe. The kids had a blast and it was really neat to look out and see bright white pretty snow. The after effect was pretty ugly. Dying snowmen, mountains of dirty wet clothes and mud.

Chandler went to his orthopedic surgeon and will be having an ACL/MCL reconstruction next week. They call his type of injury the "Unhappy Triad". Basically they take a piece of tendon from his knee and rebuild his ACL and his MCL. Good times. I hope he recovers as easily as Jon did when he had it done back in '02 minus the vomiting and fainting spells. Lucky me- I was nursing a 6 month old baby back then and I will be doing the same thing now. Makes changing ice packs, wrapping body parts so they don't get wet in the shower and fetching food SO MUCH FUN...

Hunter has a new girlfriend! Her name is Ashley. She thinks I'm sweet and cute and she loves my red hair. I like her ALOT! He is also so dang good with Camden, it's crazy. He frequently tells me how much he loves Cam and how cool he is, it's really sweet.

Hayden is being tested for gifted in the Spring. This didn't come from left field, this came from the parking lot at the baseball stadium! He is a smart boy but I always thought his atleticism and motor skills (learning to ride a bike by himself at age 3) were his strong suits- not school. We shall see, his teacher seems to think he might qualify for the gifted program.

Chloe hit preteen harder than I thought was ever possible. She has had her toe into tween for awhile, but wowza things have been u-g-l-y lately. Tantrums, insults, door slamming, makeup swiping from mommy to name a few. And, the icing on the cake? She removed me as her friend on Facebook because she didn't like a comment I made on her status. Ouch...

And, last but certainly not least. I have postpartum depression and it sucks. I am not gonna go into detail now. I am gonna blog about it this weekend. No holds barred. I'm gonna spill my guts. I'm gonna rant and rave and more than likely there will be tears shed, both by me and maybe some of y'all. I really need to gather my thoughts about what to say and stuff. Just please, pray for me. I really want to feel better.

The end... for now.

Hiatus

Ok, so I'm taking a "break" from blogging. And, before you groan and roll your eyes let me explain. Before I had Camden I was in a funk and would waste countless hours on the computer. In that time I developed friendships that I truly treasure now and would be lost without. But, I also developed a bad habit of not managing my time and ignoring more important things. It wasn't unusual for me to check my email 20 times a day or refresh my blog to see if someone commented over and over... and then it was Facebook. Oh my goodness, Facebook! I love it! I love the rekindled friendships and the new connections. I won't mention blog surfing and online shopping and etc etc... But now, I simply cannot keep up. With my kids, my chores, cooking, homework, you name it. I have been trying to keep up my "online life" but it's causing me to suffer in ways I never imagined- like when I got a moment I would read blogs or Facebook instead of showering and when I was ready to bathe, Camden would have a screaming gassy fit and guess what? No shower that day! Or, I would stay up late and browse online and not go to bed with my hubby and before you knew it, it was 2am and my kids needed to be up at 6. I still try and read every one's blogs and I do get on Facebook but it's usually a quick check on my iPhone, so I don't keep my butt glued to the office chair (which is getting flat in the seat area, hmmm). I love my blog and I love that y'all read and love it. But, I HAVE to start prioritizing. I am just waaaay too busy to waste time on the computer. This is in no way an insult to those of you who love to blog and still have time for it, keep it up. It makes the rare 10 minutes a day I do get online (usually to add lunch money to the kid's school accounts or check the weather) all the more enjoyable. I will TRY and blog here and there, but it's no longer #1 or even #8 on my priority list. Keep me on a reader, check here and there. I still have a list of things to write about and pics to post, someday.... I LOVE YOU GUYS! And, I hope that y'all still want updates on me and the kiddos, so at the very least I will try and keep y'all updated on the family.

Not so fast....

Yeah, so note to self: no more pep talks! I think I jinxed myself something AWFUL after my last post... Yesterday was terrible, and that's a major understatement! I'm having that "I have to be Superwoman" thing going on. I get frustrated and overwhelmed way too easy. And while I did feel like a Rockstar when I wrote my last post, I am now back down on Earth. I have got to learn to RELAX! Any tips? I know there are good days and bad days, and I know it will get better and eventually I will have an empty nest. However, what the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime?

Just Because

Ya know, I really wish I was always positive, but I'm not. I really wish I didn't compare myself to others, but I do. I really wish I didn't think the grass was greener on the other side, but I sometimes do. I get irritated at myself for being that way. It's so dumb! Call me an idiot, call me a brat, call me blind- whatever you want. I admit that I am dense, among other things. Anyway- the reason for this post is to pump me up really. I have a wonderful family and am so blessed but have found myself overwhelmed and frumpy and cranky among other things. But today I sat on the computer and looked at a bunch of old posts (sorry for the lack of new content) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am funny! I am smart! I am sorta cute and sometimes I look pretty! My house isn't as bad as I think it is. My family is cool, and nutty, and unique and MINE! I always think we don't do enough fun or memorable stuff, that we don't have a cool family like EVERY one else...I certainly don't document enough memories of the things we manage to do. And, I finally realized how silly I am! Shame on me... I have been re-reading my old posts and I am a swell person and a good wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, etc. and we DO have a cool family and I have a pretty amazing life. No, I don't get to travel to neat places, I can't take good pics to save my life, I am chunky, my family is wacky and I could go on and name my "flaws" forever and a day but I'm not gonna. I'm just gonna sit here and enjoy my family today and every day. Now, you go back and read some of my old old posts and I am gonna go spank myself.

First Food!

Cam had his first taste of cereal on Monday. And, he hated it! He gagged far worse than any of the other kids ever did. I thinned it to almost pure formula (what? I am all out of pumped breastmilk...) with a tiny bit of cereal and it was still too thick for him. He did look cute in his french fry bib and high chair though! I am thinking he'll survive until we try again, especially since at his doctor appointment yesterday he weighed in at 15.4 pounds and 26.5 inches long! All of the many many hours spent nursing are paying off. She was very pleased with his growth given the fact that he spits up so much. He is so sweet and I am so in love with him. He is super close to rolling over (finally) from back to front and giggles all the time. His favorite thing to do now is try and sit up when I am changing his diaper or he is in his tub or swing. I can't believe he is already 4 months old, time sure does fly! Anyway- here are some pics of the momentous occasion. Enjoy!

blessing the food


watching mommy mix his cereal


3...2...1


GAG, so blurry but sooo funny!


yuck, ick, blech!


hey! This isn't what I'm used to eating...


no more mommy!!


hating being wiped up almost as bad as eating cereal

Football Party!

Friday night was Chan's last ever football banquet. It's a big deal for Senior moms because you get to decorate your own table, or half a table in our case. You can have a full table if you pay $25 per chair. Multiply that by 10 people plus money for decorations and it gets expensive! Little did we know the folks we were sharing a table with were no shows... Anyway, I have been looking forward to this for years. Little did I know when the time came that I would have a clingy 4 month old who could have cared less about my need to craft! However after working off and on for two days I managed to do a decent table display. Plus, I got to go on a date with Jon, Chan, and Hunter. Thanks so much to Erin and Vince for watching the other three kiddos while we "partied". Anyway- here are some pics of the table and a very few of us.

World Class Teenage Drama Queen

This:



Has turned in to this:



and I am SCARED! Hold me....