Never leave the house without looking in the mirror first. That white shirt with the tan bra might be a tad bit too noticeable. People will stare at your bodacious ta-ta's.
When you are still suffering from a cold, make sure you have kleenex or at the very least one of your kid's socks in the car. If not, you will need it, badly... if you catch my drift. You might discover another use for that see through white shirt.
Take a list to the store, if not you will end up coming home with things like pig ears, M&M's, and the same nail polish you already own.
NEVER eat refried beans and cole slaw on the same day. I'll leave it at that.
It's probably not very smart to drink a 64 ounce ice water less than an hour before bed. In between blowing your nose and peeing every hour, you will get like NO sleep!
Don't leave the bathroom blinds open while you are home alone. Especially if you plan on taking a bath. Otherwise some strange man (the septic dude) might walk by your window on the way to your back yard...
And lastly- when trying to catch a whiff of the lotion you might buy, don't squeeze the bottle too hard. I can almost guarantee you will squirt the same amount of lotion necessary to moisturize one whole leg up your nose.
2 comments:
Very good advice ;). You crack me up.
Thanks! I needed the laugh - and the advice. :-)
Post a Comment