Baby Factory

I am sure everyone has heard the news about the woman who had octuplets. Well, did you hear that she already has 6 kids at home? And they are all under the age of 7! I suck at math but I'll give it a shot:

6 + 8 = 14 kids

Words fail me. Seriously. I love my kids and I would take another if Heavenly Father felt there was one that needed to be sent to my family. I feel deep pain for women who can't have children or who have suffered pregnancy loss. And, honestly it's none of my business how a woman gets pregnant. But, I have to think it was incredibly irresponsible for a fertility Doctor to deposit 8 fertilized eggs into this woman's uterus. My mom had 9 over the course of 20 years... This chick is almost to Duggar status! I had read that she is under 30. And that her husband is headed back to Iraq. And, while I am overjoyed at the thought of a soft and cuddly, sweet smelling little miracle from Heaven- I feel very sorry for the mom. I can't even imagine what her life is going to entail from now on.... I am glad that her children are healthy, it just seems abnormal for a woman to carry that many babies. I mean it's rare for a woman to have more than 2, sure it happens. But singleton pregnancies are the norm. I read another article where I think the situation was summed up just right: "Women are not designed to have LITTERS of BABIES. Look at their bodies. They were intended to feed one maybe two at most."

Good Times

Today is the dreaded "yearly"... and boy am I ever NOT looking forward to it. Really- I have floors to scrub, an upper lip to wax, dog poop to scoop, and you get the picture. He is a nice guy and all. But this is the worst day of every year. Which is precisely why I have been putting it off. I was supposed to go back in October, oops. I think I was shopping for costumes instead or something. So, pray for me, that I don't fart or something. And one thing's for certain: I am sure he will proud of me for losing some weight. Yay! And to think I was dreading going. Gosh, I just realized I have blogged about my OB before. Remember? Go here for that bit of loveliness. Anyway, I hope y'all have a great day! As for me, I am not so sure...

Wintry Mix

I so wanted today to be a "snow day"... but no such luck. They did do an early dismissal at 2, whoopty doo. All that accomplished was me having to stand in long lines at each school, some of the time OUTSIDE while I waited my turn to sign my kiddos out and show my ID. It was a mad house! Parents everywhere and GERMS! The main office of any school during winter makes my skin crawl, but that's another post.
They only gave us a 30 minute warning, nice huh? And, they neglected to tell us in the message that even though school dismissed at 2, buses would be running from 2:45 til 3:45. Which meant if I didn't get the kids myself I would have been home waiting on the buses, likely a nervous wreck. So, after 1 & 1/2 hours at 4 different schools we headed to Wal-Mart for firewood (sold out) and stuff for dinner. That took less time than the school debacle, we were in and out in 20 minutes! We hadn't been out of the van for 30 seconds when Hunter stood on the mini BMX gate in our front yard and promptly fell on his butt. It was a solid sheet of ice. I've never seen a kid contorted that way before! He just laid there arms and legs splayed out, drink spilled, his bag of jawbreakers busted in the grass and laughed his butt off. We all did. Really I almost wet my pants. The only thing that held me back was the fact that it was below freezing and I didn't want frozen pee on my jeans. We did manage to have a nice dinner: homemade lasagna, salad with my famous Ranch dressing, and garlic bread, yum! It's now 11-ish and I am sitting on my bed with the laptop and a sleeve of Thin Mints. I am refreshing the school closings list every 3 seconds while I listen to the TV. Oh yeah- I am also listening to what sounds like a train in our attic. I thought our heat pump was about to explode, but Jon assured me it's only the attic fans trying to spin but they are too frozen to do their job. Wonderful. Anyway- stay warm and cozy and don't drive if you don't have to. And, cross your fingers that there's no school tomorrow....

I need cooking help!

This morning Jon and I were in the mood for French toast. So I made some up. I make mine with lots of vanilla and cinnamon and a dash of nutmeg. I also sprinkle cinnamon on each slice as they are cooking in the pan. Here is my dilemma and I suspect I am not alone: soggy bread. I have only ever cooked it the way my mom did, just in a skillet or on the griddle with butter. I rarely make it, just because it seems like we never have time for a big breakfast and frankly- making French toast for 6 people seems exhausting... Anyway to keep it from getting soggy I have considered: toasting the bread first, making it in the oven, brushing the egg/milk mixture on instead of dipping the bread, and lastly- using less butter. Now, keep in mind that I have never tried any other way. But, I am looking for some tips so I can make it more often. It sure was good, even if it was a little soggy. So, lend me some tips please!

Bonkers!

I could have titled this pet peeves, but I think I did one of those before... Anyway- call me anal or whatever, but there are some things that just annoy me so bad! When you share a house with 5 other people and 3 animals there are bound to be things that irritate you.

I can't stand when the kids use my toothpaste and get the end where the toothpaste comes out all crusty. It takes lots of elbow grease and hot water to get the crust off. When you finally get it clean and go to squirt it on your own toothbrush a giant bubble of water mixed with paste squirts out instead. Gross!

It annoys me to no end when I am putting clothes away in the closets and I encounter empty hangers, mixed in with the clothes no less. Ugghh! I am cool with empty hangers being in the closet, they just need to be grouped at the end of the rod or something...

Why oh why when I am starving and trying to stuff my face with food does my husband start telling me some long drawn out story? I like adult conversation and I want to hear what he's saying. I may even want to respond, but I'm hungry! Just wait til I'm done eating. Never interrupt a foodie trying to eat.

When one of my lovely children (usually Chandler) gets in the shower in the kid's bathroom when I am in the tub in my bathroom and proceeds to use all the hot water. Not sure why that bathroom would dominate the pipes, that is just all sorts of wrong. It's called THE MASTER BATHROOM for a reason...

Without fail at least once a week right when I am about to pass out from exhaustion Jon will go into the bathroom for his nightly "sabbatical". This prevents me from getting ready for bed. Ya know contact removal, brushing teeth with crusty toothpaste, etc. impossible. No, I don't do my business while he's on "sabbatical" we don't have that kind of relationship. What he does in the bathroom is none of my business.

And a few Hall of Famers:

when people stop by unannounced
and
chipped nail polish
and
dogs who bark before 7 for breakfast
and
cats who walk between my feet when I am busy
and
fish who bite my finger when I am dropping in food
and
husbands that snore
and...

Ok, I am done. I just realized I was sounding a bit anal.

One of the saddest stories I have ever heard...

Go here. I am just stunned. So sad.

Dang... look at those bangs!

Ok, so I am not so sure I am liking the hair... I got bangs yesterday. And a fresh color. Hair seems a tad too orange and the bangs are still growing on me. I asked Jon his opinion and he said: "they look good. I have always liked you in bangs. You were looking older and those make you look kinda young."
Wow! Not the response I wanted! So, give me your opinion. Please, be nice. I am having a LSE day (low self esteem)!

Just being honest!

I am pretty sure Erica tagged me... I know she tagged an Ashley M. hopefully she meant me. If not, I am doing it anyway! I am supposed to tell 10 totally honest things about me. Now, I am a pretty open book but I am not sure I can think of 10 things you don't already know. However, I am up for the challenge. Here goes:

1. Sometimes I just don't feel like washing my hair. I'll go up to 4 days with it dirty and it doesn't smell so hot or look very pretty. So, I just put 2 ponytails in it and throw on a cap and presto, I look cute. I would be mortified if anyone saw me with greasy hair!

2. I won't let company inside my house if it's less than perfectly clean. I feel like people are judging me if it's not immaculate. So, if you pop in on me, you're not getting in if the house is dirty. Sorry, but it's true.

3. I sleep with my hand in the waist band of my pajamas. Ya know- like Al Bundy. I like to sleep with my hand on my tummy and one too many times I have fallen asleep and my hand fell off my stomach and freaked me out, it felt like I was falling off a cliff or something. So, if my hand is in my waistband (no lower!) it's protected from falling.

4. Even though I consider myself girly, I can't stand being treated girly. Like when Jon tries to help me up or when some poor dude at the store tries to help me with a case of water or a giant bag of dog food. I am not crippled! Don't let my fat butt fool you, I am very strong and I don't need help. Got it?

5. I have a major weakness for cold cake with an even colder glass of milk. It has to be butter recipe yellow with chocolate frosting and 1% milk. I can stand there with a fork (only plasticware, so I can drop the evidence in the trash) and eat my weight in cake. Step away or you might lose an appendage. Really. It just so happens that Hunter's cake is waiting for me now and my husband is out of town...

6. This one's bad! Sometimes I HAVE TO pick my nose... I am turning red typing this. But, I have sinuses from you know where and sometimes only a finger will do. But, no worries: I wash my hands before and after and I always have a kleenex. No, I am not the type to pick, roll, and flick. That is just gross.

7. I hide my shopping from Jon, ALOT. Almost every time I go for groceries I stop at Target, Lane Bryant, or Old Navy first. Then, I bring my bags in with a handful of groceries and when he's out in the car getting the other stuff I run to the closet and hide my non food items. If I am being really sneaky, I write a check. That way he never finds out. If I debit, he knows immediately. Checks only show up on the monthly statement and I get the mail.

8. Speaking of mail, I can't wait until the mail comes each day. I have been known to check the mail box 5 times before the mail lady actually shows up. I am especially anxious on Fridays when I get People and Us Weekly or when I know a package is coming. I hate postal holidays. I am not sure what I am expecting, but the mail is one of the highlights of my day.

9. I am afraid I am gonna be fat forever. I have a major problem with food. I just love the way food tastes and I don't even have to be hungry. If I see it I want it. Commercials for restaurants are not my friend.

10. I am a blog stalker. And, I know lots of people are. But, sometimes I'll look at someone's blog and instantly feel like crap about myself. Like if they have more comments, a better background, amazing photos, or they just seem too perfect to be true. I have been told by a few of my blogger friends that I am not the only one who feels that way. I have drastically toned down the blog stalking, which has helped tremendously.

There you have it! 10 honestly way too honest facts about me. I am so scared to hit publish!!! Number 6 is so embarrassing!! Now I have to tag 7 people and they are Kelli, Sarah, Krista, Lois, Kirsten, Grace, and Shannon. Have fun and be honest!

I know, right?

Yes, I know- it's about time I posted. I am not gonna give you the same old song and dance of nothing going on to blog about, I am sure you got that memo. I mean really, if I had something bloggable going down I would have been on here 4 days ago. So, today you're getting an all for one. Um-kay? Can you keep up?

So far I have been spared the worst of the stomach bug (crossing fingers) but I have been plagued with one heck of a nasty cold. I actually dusted the other day, and shortly thereafter I started sneezing uncontrollably. Like, I almost wrecked after a sneeze attack. I am not exactly sure if it's a cold or from dusting. Nothing I am doing is providing relief, which has made life unpleasant. Sleep is out of the question. If I lay on my back my nose is plogged. If I lay on my tummy, I drip on my pillow. I have spent a fair amount of time with a kleenex jammed up my nose. What? It helps me breath. Plus, my nose is RAW- like hamburger meat.

I am sure those of you that have been reading for awhile are wondering about my weight loss. And, I have an explanation. No, I haven't gained my weight back. Around the holidays, I gave myself a break. I wanted to be able to enjoy all the yummy goodies that Christmas brings. Thankfully my scale hasn't budged, my clothes are still loose, etc. I am actively shopping for a treadmill (ok- internet shopping) and I ordered a few workout DVDs. I am getting back on the bandwagon, as soon as I can get all the snot (where does it all come from?) out of my system and off my face.

I am sure you've noticed the lack of pictures lately. You know I've got an explanation. My computer has been pretty wonky lately and I can't get my pictures to transfer from my camera to my computer. It takes about 5 trys and lots of curse words. And frankly, I am just too lazy to bother with it. Sorry, maybe someday I'll have it figured out...

I have seen lots and lots of movies lately. There are a couple that were good- Marley and Me and Bride Wars. There was one that was really good and really cute- Hotel for Dogs and then what has to be hands down one of the best movies I have ever seen- Gran Torino. If you can handle rough talk and some salty language, don't miss it. Really. It was soooo good. I laughed so hard and cried, big giant sobs. No, it isn't for everyone. But, I am seeing it again soon. I have this snot issue that's keeping me out of public unless food's involved.

And, speaking of watching things, 3 of my favorite shows all premiered in the last week. Big Love, American Idol, and LOST! All I have to say is, all 3 shows look like they are gonna be so good and I am just darn thankful there is something to watch. Literally there has been nothing to watch on TV, so I have been reading. Don't laugh but I have been reading the Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella. I have read 3 of them since Sunday and may be taking a little trip to Half Price Books to get 2 more. If I can find a big enough box of kleenex for the journey.

I hope this post will tide you over til later. I will be back on after I have worked up the energy to scan some photos. Somebody in our house is having a birthday.... I won't say who, but I am sure you can guess when I say- it's a boy and he's officially making the big leap into the crazy world of being a TEENAGER!!! OMG, somebody help me!

oops...

So, this time I slept til 11:46. We all did. Except Jon, who is out fixing the fence. To say we are not morning people but rather night owls would be putting it mildly. So, I am gonna have to do something about it. First I am gonna have to talk to our Bishop about pushing church back to the 11 o'clock slot. That probably won't work. Secondly, I am thinking a Sunday morning wake up call is in order. Seriously. And, just to show you the kind of "luck" I have: this time we had a power surge or something from Chandler's TV and it knocked out power in a few random places, one of which was the wall in the master bedroom, where our bed and nightstands are, which is where we keep the clocks. I am not sure if I would know how to handle myself if a normal day wasn't getting TP'd, the dog escaping 15 times (thus the reason for the fence repair), someone barfing, a power surge, over indulging on Girl Scout cookies, and so on and so forth. Really, what do normal people do on a normal day?

*Kirsten- I am emailing you now.

Won't need to buy T P for awhile

We got wrapped again. The sad thing is that it happened in just 20 minutes. Jon and Hunter came home from BMX around 11:20 and no toilet paper in sight. Chan comes home at 11:40 and it looks like Winter Wonderland. Whomever did it is much better at wrapping than the last person who papered us. Seriously though- I didn't know people wrapped before midnight. This is the 4th time in recent memory we've been got. Chandler and Hunter both have friends spending the night which equals a bigger cleaning crew. Unless Jon gets to it first...

I'm in TROUBLE!

Girl Scout cookies went on sale today. We bought four boxes from my friend's daughter Ave. It only took one hour for three of us to finish one box. Lucky for us the doorbell rang and another Girl Scout came a callin'. I said no, we didn't need any more. But, Jon chased her down anyway and bought another box. Jon is buying me a treadmill tomorrow. I think I may have Thin Mints running through my veins....

Heaven help me!

I am not sure I can handle this again. Chloe threw up. I am PARANOID about vomit. Especially when it comes out of me. I feel terrible for my children when they throw up, but I feel more terrible for me. I have a MAJOR phobia of vomiting. So much so that I sleep with a bucket or tub next to my bed and even keep one in my car, just in case... I am still hoping and praying that my super mommy immune system will kick in and I will be saved from hurling. I was feeling pretty good about it being a minor episode and then she went and puked again. I have been nauseous since the first time at 7:30 and I made toast and soup for dinner, just in case... Basically I got the worst stomach bug (the Ethan virus) of my entire life when Chan was a baby. It literally took me one month to eat normal food and feel better. I have been traumatized ever since. The one we got last October came close to being just as bad as "the Ethan virus". My mom and I named it that because it was at my step Grandpa Ethan's funeral that we both started feeling sick. Man, it was bad. I don't ever want to feel that way again. So, pray for me. I am completely serious. Thank goodness Jon isn't squeamish about barf and has been helping Chloe. Man I love him.

The tables have turned...

I have been a stay home mom since November 2001, and in that time frame I have perfected the art of the nap. As much as I would have liked for my kids to be in bed by 8, they were up later than other kids and would sleep in a bit. So, for instance when Hayden was little I could get the other 3 kids off to school and he would never know we were up. That enabled me to crawl back in bed and sleep til 10 or so. Same thing on the weekends, we all slept in. Now that they are older they can make their own breakfast if they happen to get up before me on holidays or weekends. I have especially had a hard time staying awake since all the kids are in school now, they are on the bus by 8:30 or already in class. Jon leaves when Chan does, so it's just me. It's just too tempting to not get in my warm bed and snooze. Really, I have napped quite a bit the last few years. And, while I feel guilty when I think of all the things I could accomplish in those 2 hours- I don't. I kind of consider it me banking and cashing in sleep time. I have had lots of sleepless nights over the years with crying or sick babies, interrupted sleep when the kids have sleepovers, etc. So, I am just taking care of me. Now however, I have an accomplice: Jon. He recently changed his work hours to start at 10 a.m. And, he is back in bed before me, snoring! Which means I can't fall asleep AT ALL! He has napped every weekday morning the last 2 & 1/2 weeks. And, I have to say I am getting annoyed! I love my husband and I love to snuggle with him but this is getting out of hand. That is my nap time, I get the whole king size bed to myself. No snoring or boys allowed! I won't even let the cat up there... So, I need to figure out a solution before I lose any more sleep. I even tried to get him to fetch me a taquito from Whataburger the other morning, thinking I would slip in bed and fall asleep before he got back and he would just eat it himself. No such luck, he was asleep before I could finish my order!

I have Blogitis

blogitis: noun

An imagined illness. Those afflicted can't find anything interesting to blog about. They are more than likely "stuck in a rut" with their blog. They have probably been just trying to be a good mom by preparing meals and washing clothes and quite possibly attempting to "hit the sack" before 1 a.m. Sometimes an individual with blogitis will start a new post many times, before giving up each and every time by thinking: that post stinks. Often a person with this illness will search through their old pictures even taking new pictures in a desperate attempt to have something, ANYTHING interesting to post. They think they have more readers than they really do who might be getting disappointed with the lack of new content. You must proceed with caution. Don't leave comments asking: "are you ok?" or "c'mon, post something, it's been 2 days" that could cause undue frustration and annoyance. You must bear with the afflicted blogger. Because, in no time that blogger will surely have a new post or some hot new pics that will knock your socks off. Blogitis can strike at any time, sometimes multiple times per month. Don't worry it usually leaves as fast as it comes.

That wasn't supposed to happen...

Last night I went to bed alot later than I should have. The dogs were barking for breakfast at 6, so when my clock rang at 7:30 to get up for church I am not sure what happened.... but I slept right on through almost all of church. I must have turned it off instead of snooze. And, I am guessing I had fallen back into a super deep sleep. Because, I never heard Jon get up, I never felt Hayden climb into bed with me, and the sun was right in my face and I just kept on sleeping. My darling husband must not have remembered that we have early church this year, because he snuck out to watch Sportscenter and let me sleep in til 11:35!!! I am not doing so hot this year so far. I missed last Sunday for Corgan's blessing and today so I could get beauty sleep or something? I have a new calling and I need to be at church! Yikes! Sorry Kirsten...

Chloe, Chloe, Chloe

Miss Chloe is so funny and she makes me scratch my head sometimes. This week she has been especially interesting.

The other day she put a load of clothes in the dryer for me and instead of a dryer sheet she put a Swiffer dry cloth in there...

She told me yesterday when we were going to the mall that she was vain. And I told her being vain was not a good thing. She said she knew but she couldn't help it...

Tonight we went to McDonalds for dinner and when we drove into our driveway Jon was waiting on us and she yelled out the window: "hey Shaniqua, hey!!"

Earlier, we had gone to pick up Hunter from the movies. She had on shorts and I went to squeeze her thigh. Just because. And she said: "Stop, I hate when you touch me there..." Which sounded bad enough. Then, I tried again just to tick her off and she farted! I laughed so freaking hard!! Which made her SO MAD! Then she said: "that wasn't me, you know I don't fart." Oh really? Because we were the only ones in the car and I certainly didn't do it.

Poor Chandler

So, just the other day I was thinking there was nothing to blog about... and then Chandler got sick. He came home from school Wednesday and he didn't look so hot. Pale, disoriented, thirsty, clammy, weak. He needed help carrying his backpack into the house. I grilled him like nobody's business, trying to figure out what was wrong. He told me he felt pretty bad and that he had collapsed at the end of his workout in athletics. Apparently, the coach is already pushing them hard for next year. He wants another National Championship in football. Anyway, Chan gets the shower going (it's his comfort zone when he's sick) and then I hear him barf at least 3 times, maybe more. At that point I was in a fit of hysterics, vomiting scares me and literally makes my skin crawl. I quickly pass out those sterile blue masks to the kids and start spraying Lysol, just in case. Chan gets out of the shower and into bed. I make dinner as usual and he wants to eat, so I let him. I had made homemade chicken noodle soup/stew stuff and it was bland. Plus, he has an iron stomach, normally. He had already kept down several LARGE glasses of water, so I didn't see any harm in it. And, he did manage to keep dinner down. I kept him home yesterday anyway, just to be on the safe side. Since then, he has been getting an occasional headache, body feels weak, and a scratchy throat, but otherwise seems better. Jon took him to CareNow for me last night (he slept all day) and after three hours he was diagnosed with: a sinus infection. So weird, I still don't know how a sinus infection could have caused him to react that way. Honestly, it's still a mystery to me. I don't know if his school lunch made him sick or if he was experiencing dehydration or heat exhaustion or what?? I am still scratching my head and waiting to see if anyone else gets THE MYSTERY VIRUS.

Blah!

Blah, blah, blah....*






*translation- nothing blog worthy going on at all! Back to the grindstone. Ready for Spring Break. So ready to get our house on the market, I am ready to move and re-decorate. Visited with Kelli's family twice this weekend, that was nice. Just paid the septic guy $500 smackeroos to suck the poo out of our septic tank with his magical giant vacuum (honey wagon). My dogs have their days and nights mixed up. I think my cat's schizophrenic. Chloe and Hunter have grown out of their school uniforms from the beginning of the year, back to the mall I go. So that's about it. I am sure hoping something exciting comes up to blog about soon.

Word to your Mother

Tonight as I was headed out the door for dog food and laundry soap my sister Kelli texted me. She needed to borrow some folding chairs for her son Fynn's birthday party tomorrow. I said yes I had some and she could borrow them but to remind me. She texted back: remind me to remind you. So, I knew I would forget the chairs unless I had a really good reminder. That is when I remembered that our pantry door is a chalk board, duh. So, as I was leaving I asked Chloe: "hey Clo- can you write bring folding chairs to Kelli's for me on the board?" And, she did. I probably walked by it a hundred times before I understood that she had written literally what I asked. Jon and I must have laughed for 5 solid minutes when we figured it out.

2009 is coming in with a BANG!

I am one of "those chicks". Ya know, I have addressed it on here before. The always late, black cloud over head, strange things happen to her kind of chicks. And, the new year is oh so sweetly reminding me of that. Case in point:

Septic tank nearly overflowed. For those of you who don't know what a septic tank is, it's basically our very own sewer system in the back yard. One giant dark tank full of every bit of gunk that goes down our sinks, toilets, showers, washer, etc. Couldn't wash clothes or dishes for 3 days. House smelled like a giant fart. It's fixed and we have yet to see the bill. I am scared.

Did manage to see our Sprint bill. Apparently I text too much, who me? We have corrected things and I now have unlimited texting, but not before I did $400 worth of damage. That's in addition to our regular monthly bill. Put it this way: the cell phone bill for me, Jon, and the older boys is in the 4 digit range... Go Ashley!?

Even though my mini-van has a reverse camera, I still managed to back into Hunter's skate rail. Basically a mini hand rail that he does tricks on with his skateboard. It clunked really loud! At this moment I see no damage to my 7 month old car that I am paying a hefty chunk of monthly change for, but it's pitch black out here in Podunkville. We shall see tomorrow. Cross your fingers, toes, arms, etc. that it's ok. Jon will kick my butt if my van is scratched!

And, my most upsetting news of all: Chan's wisdom teeth are making an early appearance. Which is not surprising considering he hit puberty at 8. The part I am most bummed about is that the new teeth are causing 2 of his teeth to shift and become loose! Ugghhh! No member of my family will ever be toothless, unless they are under 1, still being visited by the tooth fairy, or are over 80.

I am sure hoping 2009 will bring some goodness, happiness, and joy. I can't stand another year full of drama.

P.S. I am so not meaning to be a negative Nancy, forgive me.