Dad, You Crazy...

After Tuesday's dinner drama I thought of a funny thing my Dad used to say,(#11). Things he probably heard his Dad say.Things he said alot and were like a second language to him. So, this post is in honor of him and the wacky things that come out of his mouth. Warning: this post contains foul language and you are strongly advised to not take a drink while reading or you will mess up your screen.
1. It's colder than a witch's tit
2. Like sucking snot out of a dead man's nose
3. I'm as nervous as a long tail cat in a roomful of rockers
4. The eagle sh*ts tomorrow
5. Grinning like a cat eating sh*t off a wire brush
6. I don't give a rat's ass
7. You're full of what the owl left on the limb
8. Gone up a pig's ass to get a pork sandwich
9. My eyes feel like two piss holes in the snow
10. Her face is as red as a fox's ass at pokeberry time
11. Looks like two pigs wrestling under a blanket
12. That went through me faster than goose sh*t through a tin horn
13. I'm as nervous as a who*e in church
14. You don't know sh*t from shine-ola
15. It's colder than a well diggers ass
16. I've picked things bigger than that out of my nose
17. He's so tight you couldn't drive a flax seed up his ass with a sledgehammer
18. You're as crazy as a sh*t house rat
19. Wipe that sh*t eating grin off your face
20. He's as queer as a three dollar bill
I seriously don't know what some of these mean, but we grew up hearing at least one of these phrases every day...