Speechless

I have absolutely nothing to say this week. For all of my 11 loyal readers, I apologize. I have just been really busy taking care of Chandler, planning Hayden's party, unpacking, cleaning, and decorating for Christmas. Things have been crazy! Tomorrow is Hayden's party and Chandler goes back to school on Monday. I can't wait for both to occur. Love my kiddos to death, but I need a break. And it comes in the form of a public school education Monday thru Friday from 7:35 til 4. Then I can get busy Christmas shopping and baking! But come Monday morning I just might take a nap, get a pedicure, go to lunch, and read a magazine in the tub. Maybe...

Invasion of the booty snatcher...

Today, Hayden and I ventured to Chandler's school to pick up homework. When we were leaving Hayden ran in front of me outside of the school and yelled "Mom, you can't touch my butt!" And he said this in a way that sounded like I touch his butt all the time. In front of about 20 kids. Those kids got real quiet, real fast. I did the only thing I could think of: walk as fast as possible with my head down.
P.S. I knew what he meant, to not smack his booty when he ran in front of me. But nonetheless very embarrassing...

Good friends...

I am so thankful that I have been blessed with such amazing friends. I have met some of my dearest friends since we moved here. Sure I had plenty of friends before who are very near and dear to me and always will be, but I have met some in the last 3 years that I know will be lifelong friends as well. They go above and beyond normal friendship. I mean who else would fax an important paper because you are out of town and need that paper, NOW? Who else would pick up your child from school and let them have an impromptu play date because you need to finish running errands? Who else loans you crutches, Cascade, suitcases, etc, etc? Who would sit with you in the ER when your appendix is about to burst? I love that the friends we have met here, will come for dinner on a school night, or hang out playing board games until the wee hours of the morning. The guys get along great, the kids can't get enough of each other, and the girls get along even better. I constantly have a shopping partner or someone to listen to me vent. Last year we even shared Christmas dinner with Erin and her family. Many a friend has bailed Jon out when he ran out of gas, in the convertible, with the kids, in the middle of a busy street! The friends we have made here are definitely heaven sent and mean the world to Jon and I. So this post is in honor of friends! Thanks for being there when we needed it most, and when we just needed to unwind after a long crazy week. Or just because. We truly treasure all of ya'll. It is my hope that we have been as good of a lender, shoulder to lean on, there for you just because, make you laugh or smile, had the answer or advice you needed kind of friend that you have been for us. Thanks again...

Surgery

Tomorrow morning Chandler will be arriving at the hospital for his ankle surgery. Keep him in your prayers. I will update ya'll on his progress and recuperation. *update* Chan is home and doing fine! He is in some pain, but not too bad. He will be home from school for the rest of the week. On Monday it'll be back to normal, hopefully! Aside from one incident: he got lightheaded and fell out of bed... today has been smooth. Long and tiring, but smooth

Happy Birthday Hayden!

Dear Hayden,
I am so glad that you chose me to be your mommy. You are such a sweet little boy. You make your family so happy, we all love you so much. I hope that you are having a great day. I bet you can't wait for your party on Saturday! I am so proud of you! I am having so much fun watching you grow up. You are one cool kid and you are such a fast BMX racer! I am going to go start making your special chicken and mashed potatoes birthday dinner, with chocolate chip cookie bars and ice cream for dessert! More presents and cake are coming Saturday. Yeehaw! I love you buddy! Happy Happy Birthday Hayden!
Love, Mommy

progress...

Hayden placed 4th in his first round. He has two more chances to get a 1st place finish. His second try is in 2 1/2 hours and 3rd try will be tomorrow. If he can get a 1st place finish in either of those 2 rounds he will race in the mains tomorrow. I won't be able to post again until we get home. Unless he takes the top prize, then I'll find a way to get it posted!!! See ya'll soon! Miss you Chan.
*update* unfortunately Hayden was unable to make the main event. He got 3rd place in rounds 1 and 2. He was very sad that he didn't win the 4 foot tall 1st place trophy, and even sadder to leave our hotel and Oklahoma. He asked if we could live there, too funny. We had so much fun! Hayden worked his little tail off and pedaled his heart out! We are so proud of him! We bought him a cool trophy before we left town (just in case) which we gave to him afterwards. To congratulate his hard work and have a memory of the event! When he's older he'll probably figure it out, but oh well.

Live feeds

Tomorrow's races are going to be shown online. Hayden will be racing sometime between 9 and 11. I believe it will be in the 10:30 a.m. range. I am posting the link now, as I will not have internet access or even the laptop at the racing facility. Try and check back often if you can and maybe you can see him race! I will keep you posted on his progress. There is a chance you'll be able to see him race more than once online. I will call those of you whose numbers I have when he is within 15 minutes of racing. It would be cool if at least 1 person besides us could see him. We are so excited!!! Good night all...

Waiting... (WARNING, long post ahead)

Hi! Long time no post! So, I guess I'll start where I left off. Our first night was absolutely miserable. Small room, next to the Interstate, and the airport, on one of the busiest flying days of the year. I had no idea THAT MANY people flew the redeye into Oklahoma! Plus Hunter turned the heat on high! And our pillows were more like pillow substitutes! The next morning we headed to the expo and like a bunch of zombies watched Hayden practice. After that the boys rode their bikes on "the hill" with about a million other kids while we walked around. The hill is the long ramp for wheelchairs, golf carts, bikes, etc. for people or things who can't take stairs. Definitely a popular place to hang out. I can't even begin to describe the atmosphere at the expo, it is AWESOME! Vendors everywhere, tons of people, no 2 bikes are alike, and the ultimate is the indoor track. So cool! I hope the boys want to keep doing this, because Jon and I already want to come back! If not, I may have start training to race myself, soon! So, after that we drug the boys and Chloe back to the truck and went on a two hour trek for a new hotel. We finally bit the bullet and upgraded to a suite. And it is awesome. We were in a room with 2 double beds and a tiny bathroom. Add in 5 people, 2 bikes, an ice chest, a rubbermaid tub full of food, and a ton of miscellaneous and you get the picture. Poor Chan would have been miserable. Hunter's air bed sprung a leak so he ended up with the upper half of his body on the floor. It was time to move on. So we are now in a 2 room suite. Where there's a living area with table and chairs, fold out sofa, bar, frig, and microwave. Then a huge bathroom, dressing area, and 2 more beds. Plenty of room to spread out. I may have to donate plasma to pay for it, but we all agree it was necessary. We hung out in our room, and then went and watched the pros practice last night. Afterwards, we found out we had missed the Thanksgiving potluck that was thrown by other Ft. Worth families. We couldn't find anyone we knew! So at 6:30 we went to dinner at IHOP. Yummy, eggs and pancakes for Thanksgiving! It was quiet when we got there and filled up quick. Lots of other people from the track were there and tons of other people as well. So, after our first decent night of sleep we are gonna go sightsee a little before the pros do their exhibition tonight. Tomorrow is Hayden's big day! We are a little nervous, as he has not done so well on his practices. He would rather ride his bike on the hill! Anywho, I will try and post again tomorrow. The one downfall of this hotel is the internet isn't free. Which is unbelievable, especially considering the price. I may have to find a McDonalds with free Wi-Fi. We'll see... We miss ya'll, especially Chan. I can't wait to give him a big ole bear hug. I will post some photos later. I left my camera charger at home and have only a little battery left. So I am saving it for the big stuff! See ya'll soon!

We made it!

We are in Oklahoma and it's 12:54 am. Long boring drive. Nothing to look at since it was dark all the way here. Our hotel room is teeny tiny. I am putting a bug in Jon's ear to let us move. We'll see... I am sooo missing Chandler. I have never been away from him like this before. Plus, it's turkey day. I feel bad that I won't be able to celebrate with my Chan-man and the rest of my family. We are with them in spirit. I will keep everyone updated on things here. Ya'll keep an eye on Chandler you here? It was definitely hard to leave him there and I bawled like a baby off and on the whole time we were in the car today. I am so gonna be the mom whose kids live with them when they are grown... Ha Ha! Wish Hayden luck as he races in the biggest BMX race of the year! Tomorrow is practice day and after that are qualifying rounds, hopefully he makes it to the mains. When we find out his race times I will post a link to the website for live feeds of the races. Have an awesome Thanksgiving! Hugs to all!

Can't even think of a good title....

I don't even know where to start. I am sure that those of you who read this regularly know about me and my family, the drama, the stress, and the many different and mixed emotions that I experience. You've read about my highs and lows and even heard me bitch a little. Shocking I know. I honestly think this week has been as rough as July of 97. Those of you who don't about 97, ask in comments and I shall reply. Let me start by mentioning two things and then I'll get on with this post. I have been feeling bad the last year about money, and how much my appendectomy cost. And, I am always hard on myself for not being more of a Supermom. So, it comes as no surprise that I am an emotional wreck the last 2 days. First, because we were going to do something totally uncharacteristic for us and go on a trip for Thanksgiving. Then Chandler hurt his foot. Thinking it was a sprain, we talked with my parents and decided it would be ok for him to recuperate there. I was already feeling weird about going, let alone leaving a child behind on a major holiday. I feel like a terrible mom for even considering going without my kid. Secondly after last night's news (surgery), the money issue has resurfaced. So, I am super stressed. I am worried about how we are gonna afford another surgery. I am afraid something might happen because we are leaving town. Afraid to leave Chan, almost afraid to go. Concerned he could take a turn for the worse. The traveling is freaking me out. Thanksgiving is a notoriously bad time to travel. I do not know what to do. I have arranged for him to spend a few days at my parents and then have my sister Kelli and her family watch him and my house the remainder of the week. But then my mom asks me if something bad happens, what do I want for Chandler? His care, his future? So not the thing to say! I love you mom, but now I am probably the most nervous I have ever been. No one wants to face a question like that. Let alone if something did happen. Then to top it all off, I am worried about stuff. Like possessions, clothes, Christmas, etc. I am a shopper. A serious shopper. I spend way too much. Chloe gets a major new wardrobe when the styles or seasons change. I spend a ton of money on make-up and clothes for me. Then add in the boys, the new BMX gear, eating out, craft supplies, home decorating, the list goes on and on. I have known for quite some time that my spending is out of hand. I guess I did need a wake-up call. I am just sorry Chandler has had to get hurt for me to realize it. Now would be a good time to stress even more the true meaning of Christmas. Poor Hayden, I am not sure he'll 100% understand. I need some serious advice. I am going over every worse case scenario. I swear my stomach has become one giant ulcer since last night. Help me! Do I stay or go? Do I take Chan with us? Do I have him spend the whole week at mom's? And, do I play the lottery or bingo? Or do I just go on to Vegas after Oklahoma? Are any of ya'll lucky? Maybe you can pick me some lotto numbers. Seriously though, any words of advice? Intuition? Gut feelings? I take all suggestions seriously. I have until 3:30 tomorrow afternoon.

Gives new meaning to the term Thanksgiving break...

Well, Chan did something I thought Hunter would have done first, he broke his leg. The fibula to be exact. And not only did he break his leg, he tore just about every ligament in his ankle. So he is in a cast and he will be having surgery next week, to have screws put in his ankle. As far as I know we are going to try and go to Tulsa still, while Chan stays with my parents. We'll see how things go the next day and a half. We spent a total of ten combined hours at Carenow, the ER, and traveling. And can I just say that there are some weird ass people in the ER at night? I have seen and heard it all. The lady across the hall snored worse than Jon ever has. The man next to me wouldn't stop burping. I guess the lady in the corner didn't want to feel left out, so she farted about a hundred times! I am so glad to be home. We were starving and I swear we caught SARS, bird flu, staph, and probably hepatitis just to name a few. Gross! There's no place like home. Even if it's still half cleaned! P.S. if you haven't yet, you should watch this video...

Tag!

Ok, so I got blog-tagged the other day. Which means I am to tell you 6 unknown things about me. I have racked my brain thinking of things so here goes:

**My nickname is Rat. I have been called that for as long as I have been alive. I know my family is thinking "that's not unknown!" But, I am not sure if they know why I am called that? How it started, where it came from? And, I can't stand when anyone other than my dad calls me that. I let it slide when my mom says it, but no one else, understood?
**I absolutely love to read! It is hands down my favorite thing to do (except family of course!) I would love to be trapped in a library or bookstore. If I am in the middle of a good book, you can forget about getting me to do anything. I will not eat, drink, shower, or brush my teeth. I will sit or lie in various comfortable places in the house and read, read, read. I will stop and tend to the kids, reluctantly. I have been known to head to Barnes and Noble at 5 til 11 and run in for a book, because like a fellow blogger, I love new books.I literally feel rich because I own a lot of books, and dream of a library or study in my next house.
**In middle and high school I wanted to be a cheerleader, BAD! I totally didn't have the look, shaved hair and piercings do not a cheerleader make. But, I had the skills. I knew however that the cost was way too much for my parent's and I was a big ole chicken. To this day I regret not just doing it. If I ever drop a ton of weight, I am so taking an adult gymnastics class. And I will so cheer. In my bathroom when no one's home!
**I hate to clean but I love to clean. It is therapeutic. And my house looks pretty darn nice when it's clean. But, there are days (reading a good book) when I don't lift a finger. And if my own mom popped in on me I probably wouldn't let her in. I'm talking it gets nasty! So, I keep it that way until 5:30, and then I start working, hard! At that point I have 1 hour to turbo clean and start dinner before Jon walks in the door. The goal is to make it look like I slaved away in the house all day. Soft lamplight and candles work wonders.
**I want to be an interior designer or nurse when I grow up. I still have this goal in the back of my mind. I have wanted to do one or both of those for as long as I can remember. But, I am scared. Don't be surprised if I start school again one day. As I get older and life changes each day on a dime and things don't go as I planned, I daydream about it more and more. I loooove to decorate and I like to pretend I am Florence Nightingale in modern form. So check back often. You may see a first day of school post, all about me. Hmmmm....
**I am probably the nosiest person on earth. I am the one who drives slowly down the street at night when people still have their blinds open. I can scan a room in 15 seconds flat. I ask every kid who steps foot in my car or house: what do your parents do? How old are they? And various other questions. It drives my kids crazy. I have been called weird more than once, by many kids. I like to think I'm informed. You should see me in public. I will talk to anyone. I won't shut up. And by the time I am done I will know everything there is to know about that total stranger next to me and then some.
Ok, so there are my 6 things. I hope you feel so close to me now. Ok not really. But, as I was typing this. I thought of one more: I totally wish I could have lived in the 1800's. Crazy huh? And, I have no one to tag. Unless my sister in law Sarah wants to start her blog?? Or anyone else who reads this and isn't a blogger, please remember your gal Ashley. I think a blog-tag-post would make a lovely start to your very own blog.

The downfall of Chandler

I was "lucky" enough to get actual video footage of Chan's incident...

bummer...

Poor Chan-Man has messed up his ankle. During Thanksgiving break no less. We are watching the swelling closely and dosing him up with Vicodin leftover from his surgery this summer. If things don't look better by morning we are going to head to Care-Now for x-rays. I am hoping it's just a sprain, so he can go to Tulsa with us. If it's broken he will probably stay with my parents. Which I have mixed feelings about. I know he will be well taken care of, but I don't like being away from my children, ever. Especially on a major holiday while the rest of us are in another state. Keep your fingers crossed...

Scent of a Woman

So I am sitting at my desk surfing the net, procrastinating about chores... Along comes Hunter. He tells me his feet feel dry and do I have any lotion. I send him into my bathroom linen closet, which contains about 25 different types of body lotion. He's digging around and then it gets really quiet. So I ask him what he's doing. "I'm putting on the lotion, mom." And then he walks out of the bathroom, smelling very perfumey. It's then that I realize, of all the lotions he could have picked, he chose a heavily perfumed one. CK One Summer, by Calvin Klein. Now he smells like a lovely blend of starfruit, golden kiwi, citron tonic, and lily of the valley. Or in other words, a woman.

Some people...

have been offended and shocked by things I have posted. And to those people I apologize. Not for being me and not for my sense of humor. But I am sorry these "people" are not more open minded. If these people had bothered to get to know me better in all of the 33 years I have been alive, they would know me and my personality. I personally love my blog and find it charming and witty. Sure there are things that might embarrass the person they are written about a tiny bit. I obviously never meant to hurt anyones feelings or embarrass them. If I ever did, I would certainly remove the offending post. It is the year 2007 and things are not the way they were in the 40's and 50's let alone even 10 years ago. I post things that are relevant, humorous, silly, cute, and dear to me. I did not start this blog to be prim and proper and polite. I did it as a project to keep me occupied and share my family and friends with others, who don't see us as often. I am so tired of apologizing for who I am. I am not going to pretend to be someone I am not. I am an adult, sure I may not have as much wisdom and class as someone who has lived a much longer life than me. But, I am me take me as I am and if you are annoyed or offended or find this blog tacky, go read something else. Maybe Dear Abby, Heloise, or Miss Manners.

Dear Santa,

I know it's early and not quite Thanksgiving. But, I am gonna be super busy in the next week getting ready for Tulsa and I wanted to get my list ready. Especially since the sales are starting next Friday. Some cost nothing. Some things I know you can't afford, but I have been kinda good this year, so please keep that in mind. Here goes...
This year I wish for:
my cheekbones to show again (and other body parts to shrink, except my boobs)
the boys to flush the toilet
$25,000 to cover my appendix surgery and various other debts
a trip to Hawaii for me and Jon (we've never gone on a trip together!)
a helper who cooks, cleans, does laundry, and checks homework to come visit each day from 9 til 9, always ready to lend a hand
a family trip to Utah so I can see my brothers and sister and the kids can meet their cousins
the willpower to do 30 minutes of cardio 5 days per week
a coupon for Zoom tooth whitening
the courage to get me and the kids back to church EVERY Sunday
for Jon to stop snoring
for time to go a little slower, the kids are growing up way too fast
no more stomach bugs or other illnesses for that matter
and last but not least a happy healthy family and good friends, for 2008 and all the years to come
Love, Ashley
P.S. If some of these seem impractical or are out of your budget, I will also accept shoes, purses, perfume, makeup, movie theatre and restaurant gift cards, and free babysitting...

Dessert

Jon and the younger boys went to a BMX clinic tonight. So, Chloe caught up on homework, while I cleaned, and Chan played guitar. Pretty much a quiet evening. Finally being cold enough for it (after a few weeks of warmth) we once again busted out our Coco-motion hot chocolate maker. Thanks Sarah, we still love it! We then proceeded to make 1000 calorie cups of hot cocoa. Not really, but close. So yummy! And so warm. Here are a few pics:

What A McSilly Kid

Today I have been busy catching up on chores, laundry, and other nonsense and did something I do often: I skipped lunch. So when I went to get Hayden I was ravenous. And I headed to Whataburger. Yes, I know I complained about my weight yesterday, but what can you do? A Whataburger Jr. sounded good and that's where we went. Hayden of course wanted fries. But not until I reassured him that Whataburger fries tasted like McDonald's fries. So, I got him a small order. We both munched on fries, silent except for a few smacks on our ride home. We got stuck at a light right in front of Wal-Mart, Hayden looks around for a few minutes, then tells me "I see McDonald's." Well I'm thinking he's lost his mind because McD's is about 2 lights back and there is no way he can see it. So, I tell him "McDonald's is way back there, you can't see it!" And he tells me, "yes I can, it's in Wal-Mart, and by the way Whataburger stole their fries from McDonalds!" I of course could barely contain my laughter. And now I need to clean my dash, I'm afraid there's some french fry splatter on it.

The BIGGEST Loser

There are many people who read my blog who only know me how I look now. Sure they've seen me without makeup and I have short hair now, but one thing has remained constant: my size. And they will tell me "you look good, have you lost weight?" or "you're so pretty, no one notices your weight." Baloney! I have struggled with low self esteem for a long time and the worst thing anyone could have ever told me was that I was attractive. Sounds silly I know. I had heard it from my family and husband of course, but about 10 years ago (which is how long I've been overweight) a couple of people I worked with told me I was beautiful. Back when I was a size 12 and Chloe was a newborn. Of course back then I thought I was huge. What I wouldn't give to be a 12 again. Anyway, hearing that made me feel great. But it has done far more harm than good. It made me think, if I'm so pretty, maybe people won't notice that I'm fat. Just pile on the make-up and jewelry and don another Lane Bryant original and no one will be able to tell that I'm chubby. So, I have never really worked hard enough to lose weight. Which sucks. Today I started thinking about it, and the majority of people I know, hang around with, and even people I am related to (by marriage) have only ever seen me heavy. So, when I am down 3 pounds to them I do look better. Sad huh? The worst part of all is that my 3 youngest kids have only ever had a fat mommy. That hurts me more than anything. They have been teased about it and I know it bugs them, but they love me anyway. Let me assure everyone: I put on a good facade, but I detest being fat. I have sworn I wouldn't be fat for people's weddings, holidays, when the new school year started, or whenever a reunion would roll around. I am afraid to get in elevators, travel trailers, or even planes because I am afraid I am too fat. Forget roller coasters. Cute clothes and boots are off the list too. All of that let alone my health should be reason enough. But, I can't seem to stay focused. I definitely want to be thin and healthy, especially for my children. I have worked with a trainer off and on for almost 2 years, and while I am down by about 12 pounds and some odd number of inches, I am still obese. I desperately want to get down to the size I was when I met Jon, about a 6/8. For all of you out there who haven't known me that long, I was thin once. Believe it or not. There is a thin girl inside. Sadly enough, I don't realize how big I am until I see myself in a store mirror or window. I never thought in a million years that I would look this way. Poor Jon, we have been together 13 years and he's only had a thin wife for 3 of those. I have done Weight Watchers, exercised, starved myself (I only lasted 3 hours), had an ulcer (I lost 60 that way), you name it I've done it. I have even done serious research on weight loss surgery. Although there are days I feel as if I'll be fat forever, I have confidence that I will eventually get healthy and fit again or die trying. I am sorry to post such heavy stuff, no pun intented. Thinking about my kids only seeing me fat really got the wheels in my head rolling today. I feel like I really need to address and take care of this situation once and for all. I truly hope it's the kick in the pants I need. And for those of you who are only a little bit overweight imagine how it feels to be 120 pounds over your ideal weight. How people stare and assume you are lazy. So not true. Sure I have lazy moments, but with 4 kids they are few and far between. They won't let me be lazy. I sure hope I can accomplish my weight loss goals and see my kids grow up. Thanks alot for listening.
*PS* Just a little FYI: I have tried out for the Biggest Loser twice and never made it....

Thankful...

In honor of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I thought I would share what I am thankful for:
1. My four beautiful, talented, funny, and amazing children
2. My super cute and patient husband
3. Family
4. Friends
5. A nice cozy home
6. My red hair
7. My sense of humor
8. Coca-Cola
9. Shoes! and Purses!
10. Make-up (I love being a girl!)
11. Good health (me, Jon, and the kiddos)
12. Books and magazines (I looove to read!)
13. Freedom
14. My parents for giving me life and red hair!
15. My laptop and my blog
16. Those of you who read it!
17. Oversized sunglasses
18. My "little" sisters (27 and 30, but I still see them as 10 and 13 sometimes!)
and last but not least I am so thankful that I am me and that I have been given this beautiful life. I am not rich in money, I didn't go to college, I am a teeny bit "chubby", and I get super stressed and a little down sometimes. But I wouldn't trade it for anything!

You might be a Redneck if:

you think you look good in this outfit...

Jon actually wore this monstrosity to our friends house to play cards on Saturday. Thank goodness we stayed indoors!

Hayden rocks my socks!!

My baby did it! He won first place tonight. We went to a very nice track in Desoto, it's covered! He is off to a rockin' start in his BMX career. In 8 days he rode onto a track for the first time and has now been in 3 races! So far he has gotten 1st place once (trophy) and 2nd place twice (1 trophy and 1 ribbon)! I am super proud of him, but certainly don't want to bore anyone with bike talk. He will be racing twice a week and attending a clinic next weekend, all to get him ready for the Grand Nationals in Tulsa, OK. Should be exciting and kinda like a mini vacation. There are riders of all ages and several pro BMX'ers who do lots of exhibition rides and tricks etc. However it will cut our Thanksgiving short as we have to leave as soon as we scarf down some turkey and pie. Should be fun, we are very much looking forward to it.

Payday

Chloe is so funny. She gets some cute ideas. Here is her latest: She wanted me to bring her some smarties from the store.

Would you rather?

A) Go the Ob/Gyn for a pap smear
OR
B) Be woken up from a deep sleep by
the smoke alarm?

Let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel...

Remember that little bonfire we went to on Saturday? Well, my husband has been keeping a little secret from me. After I went home to check on the kids, (they were asleep with Chan watching them and we were 3 houses away) Jon and some of the others decided to walk through fire and coals like they saw on TV. But what they don't realize is that A) it's TV, B) those people have leathery skin because they are barefooted all the time, and C) they walk ON about a 2 inch bed of coals. They don't march THROUGH 18 inches of hot ash AND burning coals. Even if they did I would be willing to bet good money they don't do it after indulging in Coors light. So after hiding it from me for 2 days he finally showed me his wounds. He actually expected me to doctor him... Ha, the nerve! I am sure it hurts pretty bad and he is gonna have a huge scar, but seriously... Not my fault. Here is the damage:



P.S. I had to buy him new shoes, his were burnt to a crisp and he crackled when he walked!!!

Dad, You Crazy...

After Tuesday's dinner drama I thought of a funny thing my Dad used to say,(#11). Things he probably heard his Dad say.Things he said alot and were like a second language to him. So, this post is in honor of him and the wacky things that come out of his mouth. Warning: this post contains foul language and you are strongly advised to not take a drink while reading or you will mess up your screen.
1. It's colder than a witch's tit
2. Like sucking snot out of a dead man's nose
3. I'm as nervous as a long tail cat in a roomful of rockers
4. The eagle sh*ts tomorrow
5. Grinning like a cat eating sh*t off a wire brush
6. I don't give a rat's ass
7. You're full of what the owl left on the limb
8. Gone up a pig's ass to get a pork sandwich
9. My eyes feel like two piss holes in the snow
10. Her face is as red as a fox's ass at pokeberry time
11. Looks like two pigs wrestling under a blanket
12. That went through me faster than goose sh*t through a tin horn
13. I'm as nervous as a who*e in church
14. You don't know sh*t from shine-ola
15. It's colder than a well diggers ass
16. I've picked things bigger than that out of my nose
17. He's so tight you couldn't drive a flax seed up his ass with a sledgehammer
18. You're as crazy as a sh*t house rat
19. Wipe that sh*t eating grin off your face
20. He's as queer as a three dollar bill
I seriously don't know what some of these mean, but we grew up hearing at least one of these phrases every day...

**Delicioso pero repugnante**

Our frig is on the fritz again! So, my darling husband took his cute little family to dinner. We went to Fresco's in Burleson. Can you say yummy? They have the most awesome food. All you really need to order is tableside guacamole and queso. That along with the free chips, salsa, and tortillas with chipotle butter and you don't even need or have room for an entree! Super good and we had fun. I love being with my family, they are so funny. I love them being young and innocent. But, tonight I got the hint that I am mom to a hormonal teenager. Heaven help me! Chandler couldn't keep his eyes off the guacamole girl. She had on a pair of "Daisy Dukes" or "coochie cutters" that almost made me lose my appetite. Almost. Seriously though I am shocked that her boss didn't send her home. Working around food you would think that she would exhibit a little more decency than that. At the very least show some common courtesy to those around her. Not to mention self respect. Plus, hello! it is freezing outside! Thank goodness she was wearing a bra!
**delicious but disgusting** Thanks for the translation Chan.

Pet Peeves

1. People showing up to my house unannounced
2. Chipped nail polish
3. Not calling when you say you're gonna call
4. When someone takes my special bar of soap (Dove/Caress) leaving it in the shower and me with nothing when I am in the tub (Hi, Chloe)
5. Changing the channel I was watching when I leave the room
6. The kids asking if a friend can spend the night 10 minutes before bedtime
7. Jon telling me he's on his way home, but really meaning he has to stop at Autozone, Home Depot, and Leslie's Pool Supply first
8. People who stare
9. When people dress their kids in only a diaper and go shopping (Wal-Mart and Trader's Village)
10. The kids "forgetting" to flush

Same stuff, different day...

After yesterday, today was downright uneventful. It was a Monday for sure. Chandler woke up with pinkeye and it has now shifted to the other eye. Lovely. Tomorrow we will be heading to the Dr's office. Does it ever end? I did manage to make it to the gym for a pretty intense leg workout. I'm feeling good now but I may need help going potty for the next 3 days. Any takers? I kid! I also finally got the kids drawers stripped of all shorts, tank tops, and bathing suits. Now it's time to hit the stores for winter clothes! Gotta love shopping! As I close this super interesting post tonight I wanna thank my hubby. Thanks for being forgetful. It's always a nice surprise to find $23 bucks in the dryer. Update: * I just found 3 mini Hershey bars and 1 stick of gum in Hayden's pants that were about to go in the washer * I have such a sweet family, leaving me gifts in their dirty laundry....

BMX pics

Hayden's BMX debut! Best Day Ever!

Oh man, our entire family is on such a high tonight! Today was a freakin' blast! Hayden officially began his BMX racing career, and can I just say he was amazing!? A natural! We got to the track early and purchased his helmet and outfit. Then he practiced for 2 hours before the actual "motos" (qualifying rounds) began. He must have gone around the track 30 times! When it was finally time to start I was of course a nervous wreck! He was so little and so cute. I started crying, like I do every time I see the kids do something new or do especially well at something they love and enjoy. I quickly regained my composure and cheered him on! He finished 2nd in his first "moto", crashed in the second "moto", and 1st in his last "moto". The crash was pretty scary, as a little girl ran over his back!! I was freaking out, and he was MAD. That is when him being so little came back into focus. The minute he saw us when he came off the track he burst into tears. Poor baby. It took a back rub, some hugs, and special juice (Powerade) to get him back in good spirits. After a 10 minute break it was time for the championship round. He started out in second and quickly sped into first place!! But, it being his first time he started coasting towards the finish line as the other kid pumped past him. But, oh my gosh he got 2nd place! His very first time! It was awesome! And to hear the announcer praise "MYERS from CROWLEY in the lead" was so cool! He definitely made an impression on the other seasoned riders, they were surprised to hear that it was his first time. He got a nice fat trophy! He'll probably sleep with it. Speaking of, he was so excited about today that he got up at 6:00 this morning. I am soo proud of him and so were the big kids. They are all wanting to race now! Can you say $$$$!?!? They were very supportive and happy for him. I still keep getting choked up thinking about it. I love my kids, they are so awesome and I am so lucky! Enjoy the millions of photos! I actually took over 100 of them.

Fire!

Bonfire that is! Since we live out in the "country", we do things you wouldn't normally see your neighbors do if you if you lived in say an apartment or the suburbs. Well, one of our neighbors does a huge bonfire about once a year in his backyard and we do hot dogs and s'mores. The kids all run around, jump on the trampline, go in the awesome playhouse, or hang out in the cleanest garage in America. Complete with TV and a foosball table! Well, after watching him build the biggest bonfire I had ever seen for the past 18 months, it was finally bonfire time! We missed the lighting (who wants to be the first to show up?), but the fire department didn't. 4 trucks showed up! They gave us the all clear and the "party" started! It was pretty much food and conversation, and the guys drinking too much beer. We had a ton of fun! Of course my teenager was with friends (he's almost 16 what can you do?) and Hunter got nowhere near the camera, he was skateboarding in the driveway. I did get a few photos before my camera started displaying weird orbs? Maybe ashes or something, who knows? Chloe also taught Erin's daughter what I call the MySpace pose: a peace sign while trying not to look at the camera. I did have a little "incident" last night... I am a "big girl" you know not skinny, but I pride myself on being strong. Genetics, weight lifting, having 5 mean brothers, who knows? Well, a friend bet me that I could tackle her drunk husband. And being the stupid ass that I can be sometimes I took her up on it. Major mistake, I had forgotten that he used to play semi-pro football. Plus, even a drunk fool isn't gonna let a woman show him up. So, I was made to look like an idiot. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought. But, that made me all the more determined to hit the gym even harder. It's war! I think I even pulled something in my back! I was very happy to jump in the tub and soak.

Yet another fall carnival...

Well once again we headed to another carnival on Saturday. Well, actually me, Chloe, and Hayden. Jon was at work, Chan was once again with a friend playing guitar, and Hunter was with his friends skateboarding. So, we headed to the school for what appeared to be a pretty awesome carnival. But, we have been to so many carnival type activities this year, that the kids were carnival-ed out. There was a bunch of games, bounce houses, slides, silent auction, and of course lovely carnival food. Hayden and Chloe did the bounce house, the cake walk, and ate. That was it, they were pretty unimpressed. I am super proud of Hayden though, he stood in line and got a cotton candy all by himself, so cute! (Of course I took a photo of him in line!) Afterwards we stopped by the Yamaha store for an outfit for Hayden to ride bikes in and Target for hot dog and s'mores stuff. All in all a pretty uneventful day, until much later when things got interesting...

Ashley and the terrible, horrible, very bad day!

Today started off decent enough. No one was sick, no one overslept, no one missed the bus, and no one forgot anything. The only issue was that we discovered that we have some sort of wild animal living in the wall in our master bedroom. What it is or how it got there I don't know, and I am not sure I want to know. It just frantically wiggles and scratches around and sounds like it might be quite large and awfully stuck! After getting over the yuck factor, I was off in a mad dash to the hair salon. Where I got a groovy new cut (bangs!) and color. Next stop: Bath and Body Works for some good smelling bubble bath, lotion, and room sprays. I then went to hang out with Kelli and the boys for a bit. Afterwards on the way to pick Hayden up from school I think to myself what a good day I'm having especially after being a little down recently. Big mistake as I got stuck in my second traffic jam of the day. This one was worse, I was stuck on the I-35 bridge (which is like a million feet tall and scary) for 20 minutes which made me late to pick up Hayden. So Erin got him for me. (thanks Erin!) I get Hayden from Erin's and we head to the gym to meet up with Jon and my personal trainer, both of whom never showed up! Thanks guys! After finally arriving home, the bus carrying Hunter and Chloe shows up, and here comes Hunter bawling because they took his cell phone away. To say he is furious with me for not marching up there immediately and retrieving it would be a massive understatement. Gosh Mom,it only costs $15. He threw the largest fit, like he just found out someone killed Santa Claus. And wouldn't you know about 37 seconds later my cell phone rings and Chandler is calling to say he missed the bus, big surprise. I get to the school and he is waiting with a friend who also missed the bus and needs a ride. Aaarrgghhh! We get his friend dropped off and finally head home. Which should be pretty simple since my car can make the trip with it's headlights closed (haha). But no, not one but two little punks walk right in front of my car! On purpose, didn't even look, like they owned the road. I will spare you the details on what was said, but rest assured I did roll down my window and say a few choice words. Punk was one of them. And idiot. Now, I am FINALLY HOME, with a coke and a double stuf Oreo cookie. All I need now is a good animal rescue person to come cut this animal out of my wall. If he/she can also patch and paint walls that would be a serious bonus. Any takers?
*update* Just to let everyone know, I had finally settled down to watch TV before I had to make dinner when Jon called. He needed me to meet him at the bike shop to fit Hayden for his new bike. We had 15 minutes until they closed. I only got lost once. We then proceeded to drop the amount of money on a bike some people spend on a month's worth of groceries. Once at the bike shop I was informed by Jon that he needed to play the second half of a soccer game in 45 minutes, because his old team was short handed. So at this point I am only mildly annoyed and decide to get pizza for dinner. Hunter and Chloe sit outside the pizza place while I order and get scolded by another customer for misbehaving, meanwhile Jon and Hayden head home to unload the bike and get soccer gear ready. The second we drive up with pizza, Chandler meets me at the door saying he needs a ride to a friend's house. So I set down the pizza and throw a mini tantrum in the front yard. Now it is only a little chaotic here. Hayden is riding his bike in the living room, Chloe is doing backflips in the game room, and I am taking pics of me and my new haircut. Seriously, all of this really happened today. Here are some pics of my new haircut, two are silly ones like the kind the kids put on MySpace. Enjoy? And sorry sooooooo long......

BMX-cellent!

Well, once again we're taking on a new challenge. Actually Hayden is. BMX racing! He is now an official member of the ABA/BMX (American Bicycling Association). Basically it cost us $4 for him to go out this evening and practice on a real track, and he didn't want to leave. He is a natural! Which doesn't surprise me as he has already gone through 4 bicycles and is now on his 5th. He taught himself to ride a bike without training wheels when he was 3, so it really is like second nature for him. It costs a small sum to join the team and you get to pick when you race. So, his first race is this weekend and Jon and I may be taking out a loan to purchase his new BMX bike and riding gear. If all goes well he can support us someday! Kidding! But we are very excited for him. Of course I have no photos of him practicing. Jon took him and Hunter and in his excitement forgot to snap any pics. I stayed home with Chloe while Chan was at his game in Weatherford. I promise to get some of him in his gear and hopefully on the track or maybe even with a big, fat trophy!! Hunter is probably going to join as well but is a perfectionist and wants to "hone his craft" before he gets out there for real. Wish Hayden luck!

Things I've learned today and it's only 8:26 a.m....

English muffins don't like to be flushed and will clog your toilet...
And toilet will overflow...